When I play a game, I sometimes want to be taken on a rollercoaster ride of emotions, dragged kicking and screaming through the deepest, darkest recesses of my mind, leaving brown stains on my seat, smashing my television in a fit of anger, only the demons in my head knowing why.
And sometimes, I want to shoot people in the face.

I like Unreal Tournament. I like it a lot. Taking my sniper rifle, firing off a few rounds and hearing "Headshot! Headshot! Headshot! M-M-M-Monster Kill!" is one of the most satisfying experiences gaming has to offer. So with the sequel and the promise of more of the same, but better, came a high-pitched squeal of delight.
If you're not familiar with Unreal Tournament, take all your clothes off and run round campus whipping yourself while chanting "Oh, boy, am I clueless". But for your benefit, here's a quick outline. You run round a map, picking up guns and ammo, and shooting people to death. 
Some people might say this was irresponsible. The responsible people would say that it was only a bloody game. Which it is. But it's a very good one.

Unreal Tournament 2003 is, not surprisingly, an updated version. There aren't many changes. The graphics are updated, of course. New maps are added, a couple of weapons have been changed or refined, and a new game mode has been added. 
Is it worth it, then, to upgrade? Well. If you don't have the original Unreal Tournament, and your PC is less than a year old, you should buy this. If you own the original, and you liked it, and your PC is less than a year old, you should buy this. 
If you have an older computer, you probably shouldn't buy this. Because while it is a brilliant game, the first thing to know about it is that it's very system-heavy. Old computers, even at the lowest graphical settings, are unlikely to be able to cope. 
My computer, less than two years old, and upgraded even since I bought it, can just about cope enough to make it playable, but it doesn't look good. I can make it look good - and boy, does it look good - but then it doesn't play properly. 

So, if you can run this, why should you get it? Because it's nearly - NEARLY - the best, and definitely the most versatile piece of first-person multiplayer that's ever been made. The new maps have been well designed to cater for different styles of play, and the old game mechanics have been retained and refined. 
The standard game modes of Deathmatch, Team Deathmatch and Capture The Flag are still here, as is the excellent Domination. The most significant change is also in the game modes, the introduction of the Bombing Run. This is unquestionably brilliant. Imagine playing American Football, but with guns. 
When you pick up the ball, you become defenceless, able only to run. The object is to get the ball to the other team's goal, and either run it through for seven points or throw it for three. You can pass the ball to your teammates, or use the excellent trick of passing it to your opponent and shooting him to death
while he can't shoot. This mode, with 20 players, is fast, furious, tactical, and a hell of a lot of fun. Combined with the other modes, and the mutators, there's a huge variety of games you can play.

But there was something that the original UT suffered from, and its son also suffers from it. It's the clunk-clunk-bang feeling. It's difficult to describe, but when playing the other big daddy of multiplayer FPS's, Quake III, there's a feeling of swish-swish-BOOM. Here it's clunk-clunk-bang. 
In essence it's a sort of sluggishness that's hard to put your finger on, but when compared, it's definitely still there. It's not a game-destroying fault, but it does detract slightly from the polish of the game. Apart from that, there aren't any other faults as such, but there's always the overriding feeling
that you're just playing a game. Some might say this was a good thing. But immersion is always the key. What you want to feel is that it's you IN the game, not you PLAYING the game. Why this doesn't happen, I don't know.

But that might be just me. In any case, it's one of the best multiplayer games out there, and the single-player mode isn't bad either. Gorgeous and varied, it's one of the best releases this year, and the first of the next generation of graphics in games.
For a good old blast, if you're bored for half an hour, fire this up and frag away to your heart's content. Just don't expect miracles.

Released: 4th October
Format: PC CD-ROM
Price: £34.99
Score: 4/5