Guarded Hearts

It was a cold, clear day that greeted Adith as she stepped out of the small, thatched-roof building and turned her steps towards the keep. She had slept well the night before, a rare occasion nowadays, and that fact alone made the day seem brighter. She knew she was a grown woman of nearly thirty now, not a little girl; she shouldn't allow the nightmares that tormented her to disrupt her sleep or her life. Still, it was a task easier said than done, Even the strongest person could be a coward in the dead of night, and though she hated to admit it, Adith had spent her fair share of long winter nights curled up on her pallet weeping silently so as not to let the others hear her.

Still, life went on, and there were always tasks to be done and duties to perform. The courtyard was already filling up with various tradesmen and servants; she could hear the sounds of horses in the stables whickering impatiently for their morning feed. Adith nodded to several of the guards as she passed, and spared a smile for the stableboy that scampered past, lugging an ornately-tooled saddle almost as big as he was. The envoy from Keigh had been due to arrive that afternoon; apparently they must have pressed hard to arrive earlier than scheduled. This could have been due to rumors of foul weather approaching the area, or perhaps there was some other, more nefarious reason for their rush.

At present however, the weather was holding cold and crisp, pieces of broken ice floating on the surface of water troughs and buckets, half-melted, as Adith passed, the servants and merchants around her bundled up tightly against the cold, breath visible clouds, noses pink with the cold. The halls of the keep, as Adith entered, were almost as cold, and though the thick, dark tapestries and bound straw matting kept out the very worst of it, the torches in their sconces sputtered weakly, as though too starved to go on.

As one of the personal bodyguards to the royal family, Adith was permitted free access to any part of the keep she wished to visit, at any time of day. Though they operated in shifts it wasn't out of the ordinary to see other bodyguards patrolling the keep even when they were not on duty - the safety of the lord and all those who lived under his protection was paramount. For now, though, what felt paramount was the yawning chasm of her empty stomach, and she hastened her way toward the kitchens.

As always it was bustling with activity, and as the warmest room in the keep it was no surprise that people congregated there even when it wasn't mealtime. Several cooks presided over the madness, attending the fires that burned in the large, bricked-in hearths lining the walls and barking orders at the kitchen boys and girls. Adith moved through the chaos with practiced ease, emerging on the other side with a trencher carrying a thick slice of bread, cheese, and dried fruit which she carried into the guardroom, which was set off the kitchen in order to make it easier for the guards and soldiers to procure and eat their meals quickly before returning to duty.

In addition to the usual faces from the morning's guard there were four new ones - the guards who'd accompanied the envoy, all at least somewhat familiar, were also seated at one of the benches, food in front of them, looking travel-worn and hungry. Their commander, an older man with a full beard, recognized Adith and nodded to her, shifting slightly further down the bench to make room for her to sit.

She gave him a nod. "Dare," she greeted him as she sat down with her food. "I see you're early," she added.

The commander nodded. "Aye, wanted to beat the storm here."

"Well, seems you've done that safely enough - not a cloud in the sky, still."

"Hm, can't see it lasting though," Dare said gruffly, with a shake of his head. "There's something coming."

"All the better to be behind thick walls," Adith remarked, though she knew that Dare was not an easily-shaken man, and his assertion of trouble coming was not to be taken lightly. "Do you know how long you'll stay for?"

"Not yet. It all depends on the weather, and on how long the master needs to complete his business with his father."

Nodding, Adith tore her bread into smaller pieces, her fingers, as always, needing a task to do while she spoke. "We're well-provisioned here, so you'll be welcome as long as it takes. If there's anything you need, please tell me... or Anth," she said, naming the captain of the guard. "We'll make sure you're comfortable."

"Of course. I thank you." The commander, clearly in need of rest, nonetheless straightened in his chair as he addressed her, polite and formal as always.

Adith inclined her head, smiling slightly. As the commander of guard for the lord's son's envoy, Dare visited the keep several times a year. He had been in charge before Adith had even begun her training as a personal guard, but despite his considerable experience and the fact that he had been doing his job nearly as long as Adith had been alive he still gave her all due respect and acknowledgment. Not everyone was as considerate.

 

This was brought home to her in fact less than twenty minutes later, as she left the guardroom to make her way to the main hall and ran - almost literally - into the last person in the keep she wanted - as a general rule - to see. Dil was a lean, rangy man just a few months older than Adith herself, and as such they had trained together in their youth, until Dil's exceptional deviousness and capacity for cruelty had gotten him handpicked as assassin-in-training. Before this, he had been a rude, annoying youth; the appointment had turned him into a pigheaded, snobbish thorn in Adith's side.

"Watch where you're going, footman," he said with a sneer, deliberately emphasising the 'man', his lips curling into a knowing smirk. "Some of us have somewhere important to be."

"Are you implying that guarding Lord Garas isn't an important task?" Adith replied, raising her eyebrows in mock-surprise. "Careful, Dil... Remarks like that could be taken as treasonous."

"Far from it," Dil said with an expression of innocence to match her own, "merely that the value of your own part in that guard is dubious at best."

"Well then, perhaps you should take up the matter with the captain of the guard. I'm sure he would love to hear your thoughts on the matter and the fact that you question his appointments. Because as an accomplished sword yourself you would know these things." One of the few highlights of her relationship with Dil was that she had always been superior to him in the offensive arts - a fact that she took pleasure reminding him of at every possible opportunity. This probably contributed in no small part to his vendetta against her, but she couldn't bring herself to stop. "I'm sure you know that Anth values counsel from those who have proven themselves in combat. Like you ha-- oh, wait. What am I saying? I always forget you haven't actually proven anything in the field, except how adept you are at hiding from danger."

Dil looked considerably less amused now, leaning closer with a menacing expression on his face. "A talent you might do well to learn yourself," he warned.

"I prefer to face my foes with honor," Adith retorted. "I only turn my back to those who aren't a threat." With that she pushed past him, striding off towards the great hall and trying to get a rein on her temper, which was flaring as it did every time she encountered the assassin.

The hall was reasonably quiet - presumably Lord Garas's son had gone to his chambers to rest before they were to meet, as there was no sign of him here. There was only the usual complement of guardsmen, and the old Lord himself, sitting at the head of the long main table, pouring over a rather lengthy looking document.

Although Adith wasn't due to start her shift until later that morning - she had training in the yard shortly - she still approached, exchanging glances with the guardsmen lining the walls. While their Lord was a powerful and influential man, he did tend to have moods, sometimes melancholy, sometimes choleric, that made the lives of everyone around him more difficult. One reason Adith had been selected for personal guarding duties, as much as her excellent skills with sword and bow, was the fact that the old man seemed to like her, and would sometimes allow himself to be talked out whatever state he had gotten into by her.

This morning he didn't even look up as she neared, his heavy, dark brows gathered together in thought as he scanned the paper in front of him. Eventually, however, he spoke. "Well, then," he said. "What do I say to this, hm?"

"I suppose it depends, m'Lord," Adith replied, standing at attention in front of the table, though she couldn't help but sneak a glance at the document, which seemed to be some kind of proposal concerning land, liberally scattered with tables of numbers in a neat, meticulous book hand. "What do they want you to say?"

"They want me to tell them to go to hell so that they can present me as an unreasonable old man, too out-of-touch and stuck in his ways to deal reasonably, so that they can continue their attempts to nudge me out of office, that's what they want."

"Perhaps a more measured response might be in order, then. Is there a compromise that can be reached? Something that they must accept, lest they look ungrateful, perhaps?"

Garas gave a snort. "No doubt, no doubt," he muttered, sighing, finally looking up at the young woman. "You look well refreshed this morning" he said, his piercing blue eyes, looking at once so old and yet unmisted by their years, never missing a detail.

"A good night's sleep cures a multitude of ills, m'Lord. I hope you enjoyed a peaceful night as well - I know your son's coming must have given you much to look forward to." Adith knew this wasn't exactly true even as she said it - Lord Garas's son was rumored to be making the long trek to his father's holdings to ask for aid with border raiders; the idea of splitting and moving forces in the deep of winter was not a positive prospect. "We were all glad to hear of his safe arrival this morning, earlier than expected though it was."

"Hm, well, no doubt he'll sleep soundly enough himself. Perhaps we shall see him by lunchtime."

"Leaving m'Lord plenty of time to resolve this latest crisis," she replied, indicating the documents on the table.

"Quite so, I suppose. Crisis indeed. They're trading on stock that won't be available before the spring." The old man hmphed, placing the document down and taking a steaming cup from the nervous young server who'd just arrived at his side.

"A dangerous game. We are taught to think ahead in our classes, but never to forget the reality of the here and now. Too much speculation can get you killed, if you're not careful."

"Well, this stock is safe enough, but nevertheless I take exception to being pushed decisions on such things when the here and now presents me with plenty to worry about. Have you heard the news from Parry?"

Parry was the keep's head (and almost only) spy - espionage was not a favoured topic for the Lord as he deplored such 'sneaking around', but of late, with the political climate of the region growing to a simmer, it was only wise.

"No, m'Lord," Adith said, shaking her head. "Last I heard he was departing for Ensden. Has he reported since then?"

"He's returned. He's... told me a little, but more needs to be said." Something seemed to occur to Garas, and he drew his brows together anew, although this time in thought rather than frustration. "We're to meet again this evening. Now that I think of it, I may want you to be there. Would your duties allow it?"

"Of course, m'Lord. I would be honored." This was unusual - for all their familiarity, it wasn't Adith's place to be invited to meetings, especially those dealing with sensitive information.

"Well. Well. We'll see about that, I suspect," Garas said, placing down his cup and looking back to his papers, a sign that Adith was being dismissed, for now at least. "We'll see about that."

 

The rest of the day passed quickly, though not fast enough for Adith's impatient curiousity. She trained for a few hours in the yard, sparring with various partners and doing her part to help the newest recruits acclimate to the new demands on their energy and time. After a quick meal she returned to the Great Hall, where she stood at attention while Lord Garas and his son first ate, and then discussed some of the concerns that had brought him to his father's keep.

It seemed that the rumours had been true, and the Borders were once again under attack from the impoverished clans to the barren south. It was a tricky problem, because back in earlier years the Southlands had had considerable aid and support from Garas and the other feudal states of the north in their survival, but the changing times had meant that the resources simply did not exist for such aid. It was as a result of this change in fortunes that the clans had further devolved into barely more than bands of rogues living however they could, often by hitting the villages and towns just over the border.

Phin, Garas's son, begged his father for assistance, citing lost resources and the declining fortunes of his own people at the hands of the raiders. He was not unsympathetic to the Southland people's problems, but when his pleas for a cease to the raids were ignored he vowed to take up the cause with force if necessary. It seemed that time was now at hand, and he pleaded the case with his father and the assembled advisors the entire afternoon.

Garas was not so much concerned that the forces weren't needed or justified, it seemed, more that his son wasn't capable of effectively commanding them. This was a constant source of contention between the two of them. While Adith sympathised with the old lord's point of view, being around Phin's age she'd watched him grow up alongside her, and knew him to be determined, intelligent, and keen to prove himself to his father, to whom he never seemed quite serious or responsible enough. It was true that he was more lighthearted than his father, but not ridiculously so, and it was the one area where Adith considered her master to be showing something of a lapse in judgment.

The discussion continued as the Great Hall began to fill with the smoke and smells of cooking food - the kitchen staff had been hard at work all day preparing a feast for the Keigh envoy, and Adith knew that while the meal would go late into the night, Lord Garas would retire as soon as he politely could, to continue his work. And then it would be time for the meeting with Parry - the meeting she would attend, at Garas's invitation. She had told no one about it, though she was dying to do so. She held her impatience in check as great platters of food were carried into the hall and served at the long tables, which filled up with courtiers and retainers eager to hear the gossip and speculation that was almost as thick as the heavy smoke in the air. She saw Dil enter and take a prime place at one of the tables, helping himself to the finest cuts of meat and smirking unctuously at all around him.

He never looked once in her direction, and she comforted herself that, however he might behave now, it was she who had been invited to meet with Garas and Parry later that night. It was much to her dismay, then, to find that as Garas rose to leave the hall and she rose to follow him, so did Dil.

She hoped that perhaps he was only trying to look important, but unfortunately he followed the old Lord up the curving staircase towards his study, where he undertook most of his day-to-day business. He wasn't bold enough to insult her in front of the Lord, but he still managed to sweep into the room before her, nearly knocking her aside as he pulled a chair out for Garas to sit in.

Garas greeted them both with a nod, and only a moment later - without either Dil or Adith having noticed him following them, Parry entered by the same route. The door closed from without, and Adith turned her attention to the spy, who looked as if he had ridden long and hard in order to be there. He was a slight, unassuming man who she knew to have a good sense of a humor and a penchant for betting, but there was no trace of humor on his face now.

"My lord," he said in greeting, before immediately getting down to business. "It is as I had feared. Melith moves to outflank you in the General Council."

"The young upstart," Garas rumbled, looking disturbed by the news, but not overly surprised. "How long until he makes his move?"

"I don't know. Perhaps some months. But my lord, I fear his plan is to unseat you before then so that he faces your son, not you."

"Ha! At least he knows who the true threat is." Adith frowned slightly; though she didn't deny that Garas was a formidable political foe, Phin was an able stateman as well. Discounting him would not help her Lord in this situation or future ones. She opened her mouth to speak, only to be interrupted by Dil, who tented his fingers and leaned forward to rest his elbows on the table.

"Rabble-rousers are easily enough dealt with, m'Lord," he said, addressing Garas. "It should never have to get to a point that your son is distracted from his own... issues."

Garas gave Dil a look that conveyed the sort of irritation one would have for a persistent insect, and Adith felt a guilty tug of glee. Parry was undistracted.

"Be that as it may, if what I believe Melith's plan to be comes to fruition, neither you nor your son are going to be in any place to oppose him. My belief is that he plans to kidnap the lady Ilene."

Ilene was Garas's daughter, and Phin's elder sister by two years. With Ilene hostage Melith would be assured of both men's cooperation, as well as having access to direct control over Garas's holdings should he marry Ilene and challenge Phin for succession. It was a bold move, but Melith was nothing if not daring. Adith's brows drew together in concern as she listened to Garas sputter in outrage.

"Ridiculous! The conceit! What makes him think he could begin to get away with such a thing?"

"Melith has supporters, m'Lord," Parry said, shaking his head. "Money and friends will drive a man to take great risks, if he thinks he has much to gain."

"No kidnapper of Melith's will get past these walls, my lord," Dil sneered, sitting back in his chair as though the conversation was already over.

"It is thinking like that that invites them in the front gate," Parry replied. It was obvious Dil had few supporters here; Adith wondered why he had been asked to attend at all if Garas didn't intend to make use of his skills.

"Indeed," Garas concurred, shooting Dil a stern look. "Merik, your new duties are to include regular sweeps of the whole keep. I want you checking locks on doors, investigate alternative methods of entry, and at all times keeping an eye open for changed circumstances. Think like a kidnapper- no, I don't want to hear it, I know that you're an... assassin..." the word sounded like it tasted bad in the old man's mouth - he didn't like assassins any more than he liked spies - "but if I were sending a kidnapper, you are who I'd send, at least to break in, so you're the man to keep one out."

"Of course, m'Lord. Do not fear for Lady Ilene's safety; I will ensure no foul play is given foothold," Dil replied, inclining his head gravely. "Is the Lady to return to the keep from Deerforth, then?" he enquired - the lord's daughter generally spent her winters the small keep to the south that would become her home one day should Phin take up his father's position at the home keep of Norstead.

"She is already here. She arrived this morning with Phin's envoy - they met her on the road."

This was news to Adith and Dil, at least - though Parry didn't react. Ilene hadn't been present at their evening meal and no one had made mention to either of them of her arrival, or of the East Tower where her quarters were being prepared for her.

"It was at my suggestion," Parry explained, confirming that he was not in the dark as the other two had been. "I sent on ahead to call her here, and make it known that her arrival should if possible be kept secret."

"So she is aware of the danger she is in, then?" Adith asked, speaking up for the first time. Her role in this development was becoming clearer by the second, though she refrained from making any conclusions until Garas's orders were made explicitly clear.

"She is aware that there may be danger, yes," Parry said. "I have spoken to no one of my specific suspicions until this moment."

"A wise choice," Garas rumbled, his expression pensive. "Guardsman Tand, you are from this moment on in charge of the detail that will be protecting my daughter. I want you with her at all times - and when you are not, then you are aware of who is."

"Yes, m'Lord." Adith knew this would not be easy. Lady Ilene was known for her fierce independence and an abiding love of the outdoors - keeping her hidden and safe would be no mean feat.

"Well, that's settled then," Dil said with a curl of his lip - clearly he was displeased that it was Adith who had been stationed as Lady Ilene's personal guard while he was to spend his time searching the keep for weaknesses.

Adith shifted; if she was being reassigned, she needed to speak to Anth and the other personal guards soon. It wasn't like Garas to linger over matters once they had been dealt with, but it seemed as if this information had distracted him greatly. Eventually he looked up, seeming surprised that Adith and Dil were still there. "You may go," he said with a wave of his hand. Needing no further instructions, Adith nodded smartly and departed, hearing the murmur of voices start up again as Parry began to speak with Garas once more.

 

Dil turned to Adith as soon as they were out of earshot, off down the stairs back toward the great hall. "I suppose you're quite pleased with yourself," he said.

"I am pleased to be able to serve my Lord," she answered honestly, though she rankled at his words and the tone of his voice. "I hope to prove his trust in my abilities."

"It must be nice to know you could better any other guard in the keep, male or female, to be assigned to this. Although I doubt that that's the real reason you've been assigned..."

Adith's eyes narrowed; she balled her hands into fists at her sides. "Watch yourself, Merick."

"Make me, 'Tand'," Dill said with an easy, almost conversational tone. "I'm sure Garas would love to hear his daughter's new personal bodyguard brawling in the corridor with a fellow guardsman only moments after leaving his presence."

"As if you'd last long enough to make a noise. Get out of my way."

But Dil didn't. Instead, he turned a little, overshadowing her - though she was tall, the assassin was taller, and he loomed with all the menace of a man who had practiced it. "Oh, the last thing I'd want to do would be do get in your way," he said. "I'm sure you have important duties to attend to. Perhaps," he went on, voice dripping with poison, "you should begin your guard duties right now. You could visit the Lady Ilene in her chambers, make sure she's safe in her bed..." His lips curled into a knowing smirk. "A service you would relish, I'm sure..."

It took all of Adiths's hard-earned self control not to shut Dil's mouth for him - with her fist, if necessary. Instead she took a deep breath, ignoring the burning in her cheeks as she took a measured step back, until her back was nearly flush with the wall. There was barely enough room for two to pass in the corridor, but she managed to move past him before he had a chance to block her. She was free to go, then, but she made herself turn to face him once more, resolute. "If you want to challenge me, meet me in the yard. Otherwise, Dil, go back to slinking in the corners where you belong. I have better things to do with my time than trade words with the likes of you."

If Dil had a parting remark following this, he wisely kept it to himself, and Adith found herself finally, thankfully alone as she made her way back through the cool corridors. This was a blessing, as the sentiments inspired by Dil's sly comments were not ones she wanted to share with anyone else, and she doubted whether she would be able to act convincingly undistracted should her attention be required by someone or something.

 

The eating part of the evening was nigh over by the time she returned to the great hall, though there were plenty of people still milling around or seated in small groups at tables, and would be, no doubt, until the wee hours of the morning, despite the early rise that most of the keep had on a daily basis.

Scanning the hall, she spotted several guards, including Cale, a short man in his early thirties and one of her closest friends. Though the Guard was open to both men and women there was a definite preponderance of males, which meant that like it or not the women soon had to learn to be comfortable with the less-gentle sex. Adith had no problem fitting in, generally, and she tended to get on as well or better with the men in the close-knit group. Cale had only been at the keep a few years, a transfer from Kiegh, but he and Adith had been good friends almost since his arrival, their mutual love of old lore and stories creating an immediate bond that had only strengthened over the years.

Adith sat down with them, and was immediately pulled away from her thoughts by lively conversation from men who seemed to care little for the waning hour, some of whom would be going on duty in the next couple of hours and remaining so through the night. It wasn't until some of these men left, shortly before midnight, that Adith was able to pull Cale aside without it looking odd - it wasn't unusual for her to want to bend his ear about her current goings on when things got quieter.

"You've been distracted, petal," he said as they settled down a little way along the bench. Cale never missed anything.

Adith nodded, fingers tracing along the grain of the table idly. "Lord Garas called me to a meeting this evening. Along with Dil," she added, wrinkling her nose. "I've been assigned as personal guard to Lady Ilene for the time being, beginning tomorrow."

Cale raised his eyebrows. "You're going to Deerforth?"

"Oh -- no. She's come here, to stay at the keep. For... certain reasons." Adith gave him a guilty look. "I can't say more than that, I'm afraid."

"Oh." Cale pursed his lips in thought. "Overseeing a detail, or will you be sleeping in the doorway?" He smiled a little.

"A little of both. I certainly don't think I'll be on regular duties for the foreseeable future."

"Hm. Well, if you need any volunteers..."

Adith smiled, placing a hand over his. "You'll be first on the list."

Cale's smile widened a little, although there was the slightest tinge of melancholy to it as his hand shifted slightly beneath hers. He cleared his throat. "Well then. I take it news of our lady's return to the keep is privileged information?"

"I have a feeling it'll be difficult to keep it a secret for long. But it shouldn't be spread about too freely - I'll be informing Anth in the morning, and beyond that... well, it's at our Lord's discretion."

"Quite. Well. And that's what's on your mind, then?" Cale probed gently.

"It's a large responsibility," Adith evaded, her gaze dropping to the table littered with discarded food and empty cups. "I hope I am up to the task."

"Assuredly you are - there's not a better man or woman for the job in the whole of Norstead," Cale said with conviction.

"Which does not mean I'll succeed," she said with a wry grin. "Only that no one else would, either."

"Well, I'm quite certain that your best will be more than sufficient, if that helps at all."

"Thank you. It does." Adith frowned then, still unable to shake Dil's taunts from earlier, and knowing that if she did not put them from her mind soon it would mean another sleepless night, and a less than auspicious start to her new assignment the next day.

Her friend echoed her frown with a worried furrow to his own brow. "Are you sure you're well?"

"Hm? Oh... yes. As well as ever, at least. It's growing late - I ought to be away to my bed. And you, as well. Unless you plan on staying until the hall clears."

"Hah, not tonight, I fear. Sleep for me, also."

"Well then. Shall we?"

"After you, m'lady."

 

The nightmares never came right away. Always she would be lulled into a false sense of security, hoping that tonight would be one of the good ones, one of the nights when she would be able to make it through without tears, without the memories. Of course, she wasn't so lucky tonight - Dil had made sure of that.

It started of course, with that smell - woodsmoke, stewed rabbit, and mead. Then came the noises. As guards, they were so used to the sound of steel on steel that at first the ringing clangs from outside were nothing out of the ordinary. It was only with the first scream that they realized something was wrong.

The group rose as one, and in the dream her confusion was such that she felt as though she was seeing through every one of their eyes at once as they reached for their weapons, scrabbling in the half light of the guard room for helmets, gauntlets, whatever they could find in the rush. From the corner of her eye Adith could see Natia raising her sword, shouting for her fellow guards to follow her as she disappeared out the door. Adith struggled to find her own weapon, the shouts and cries from outside distracting her as she hunted for a blade.

When it had happened, it had been over in an instant. Natia was struck a matter of seconds after Adith appeared outside, long before she could possibly have reached her side, and was on the ground. But in her dream, everything was painfully slow. She was able to see the axe, hurtling end over end, inexorably towards Natia. Moving as if through honey or chest deep water Adith cried out and the sound was a low, mournful wail in her ears as she saw the other woman leap in the air to land a blow against an enemy sword, twisting and jerking in mid-air as the axe hit her middle.

The blood that had spread over her tunic had been dark and wet, but in the dream it was bright, almost like fire spreading out over her torso and consuming her. Natia had crumpled to the ground immediately, her sword dropping to the hard packed ground, useless and forgotten. Adith moved toward her, parrying blows and shouldering aside bodies, friend and enemy alike, until she reached her side.

In reality, she was already unconscious, never woke up, never saw Adith again. In the dream, her eyes met Adith's, filled with tears of pain, blood bubbling up in her throat as she stared up at her.

"Don't go. Please don't go. Stay with me," Adith begged, gripping the other woman's hand as she leaned over her. Tears dripped from her eyes, blurring her vision; she fought to resolve the image in front of her. "Please. Don't go. I need you."

Sometimes, in her dream, she was able to go back from this point, to return to the moment before the axe was thrown, to once more begin to push through the throng towards Natia, over and over again. She never reached it in time. Still, for all the agony they caused her she clung to these dreams and the memories they represented; she would rather remember and hurt than forget. Everybody had lost someone that day; a friend, a comrade, a son or daughter. She wasn't the only one consumed by grief, and yet on nights like these, when she awoke with cheeks as wet as those in her dream, she knew she was completely and utterly alone.

 

The day broke much like the one before it, the promised ill weather yet to arrive. The first order of the day was to meet with Anth and appraise him of the new state of affairs, and Adith did her level best to rally herself to this task. After a quick meal she sought out the captain, finding him (unsurprisingly) in the training yard, observing the sparring between two of the newer recruits.

"Keep your guard up, you idiot, they're not going to be aiming for your sword, they'll be aiming for you! Oh, Adith, just the woman I want to see. Show this boy how it's done, would you?"

Adith wasn't dressed for combat, having instead worn one of her nicer outfits for her impending presentation at Lady Ilene's door. Nevertheless she dutifully stepped in, receiving the wooden training sword from the youth and flashing him a quick smile before assuming the ready position.

"Right, now, lad, try to get inside Tarn's guard."

The young man in question, a healthy looking but nonetheless somewhat gangly youth who looked just about old enough to shave, stared at Adith as though she sported an extra head. "But sir, I can't-"

His protestations ended in a yowl as Adith moved forward and rapped him smartly across the knuckles, nearly causing him to drop his sword. "You're damn right you can't," she said, deliberately pitching her voice low and rough, "you're too slow. Try again."

"Hey, that's cheating, you can't-"

She dealt him another quick blow, this time across the large muscle of his thigh. "There is no cheating in swordplay. Only winning. Now hit me."

With a strangled sound from his throat, the boy lunged forward with his weapon, taking a wide swipe that Adith neatly sidestepped, causing him to lose his balance and trip, hitting the ground, still hard from the night's frost, with a loud thud. She wasn't trying to humiliate the boy, but he needed to learn quickly that anyone and everyone with a sword in their hand was a fair opponent, or at least someone to be respected until proven otherwise. She offered him a hand up, which he grudgingly accepted, and when he looked at her now there was a hint of consideration in his expression.

"You'll get there," Adith told him, relinquishing her sword back to his original opponent. "Keep at it."

Anth clapped Adith slightly on the back as she returned to his side, his gruff demeanor giving way briefly to amusement. "My thanks for that."

"I'm happy to help. Do you have a moment to talk?"

"Of course. There's only so much of this I can watch, anyway," the man said, snorting derisively as the young man who'd squared off against Adith applied some of what he'd learned and clumsily but effectively felled the man he was fighting.

They moved aside into one of the small guardhouses, which emptied at a look from Anth. The captain of the guard was well-respected and slightly feared throughout the keep for his strict standards and fearsome temper, but there was no man you wanted on your side in a fight more than him. He had molded many young hopefuls into capable guards, and those that were especially talented were sure to be recognized and pushed that much harder. Adith knew from personal experience; she had ended up with a broken arm from a particularly challenging duel when she was only sixteen - Anth had been the one to cause the fracture, but he had also been the one to carry her to the healer afterward.

Quickly Adith filled him in on her newest assignment. Anth of course was already aware of the changes being made to the keep's security, as he had been instructed to tighten the watch and to make use of the Keigh soldiers while they were there. His expression barely shifted as she outlined the most recent developments - telling him of Ilene's presence and of her assignment, although not the reason for it.

"You'll be needing a few of the men, then?" was all he said once all of this had sunk in.

"A few, yes. Though I'm hoping not to have to pull too many away from their regular duties - it's been some time but I'm sure I remember how to be a personal guard. My charge, my responsibility."

"I see you're in your dress uniform."

"I'll be presenting myself to the Lady Ilene as soon as I'm done here," Adith said with a nod.

"I suppose we'd better let you get to your new duties before you soil it somehow, then."

She laughed, smoothing her hands over the newly-clean tunic. "Just as well she doesn't stand on ceremony - I'm sure it won't stay this way for long."

"Not after a few days in the presence of the Lady Ilene, if memory serves," Anth said with an expression as close as he ever got to a fond smile. "That child couldn't last ten minutes without ending up somehow covered in mud."

"I hope I'm up to the task."

"I'm sure Lord Garas has chosen well," Anth said tactfully. Then he gave a grunt that indicated that the conversation was concluded, and turned his gaze back in the direction of the guards in training. With this vote of confidence in her favor Adith departed, entering the keep and climbing the stairs towards Lady Ilene's chamber slowly, in order to give herself time to prepare for their first meeting in over a year.

Well, meeting was a strong word, really. In truth, Ilena had spent less than a matter of weeks at a time at the keep since she was around twelve years old, and she was now six-and-twenty, so no one who lived at Norstead had had much in the way of contact with her. She left quite an impression on all who did however - even if that impression was of a stiff breeze, blowing through the keep briskly on its way to more interesting things. Still, Adith was confident that she would be able to keep up with anything the other woman could possibly want to do; after all, she couldn't be more demanding than Anth's training schedule, or the tasks Adith set for herself.

 

The East Tower hallways were dusty and a little stale feeling as Adith made her way up the multiple spiralling stairways towards the top - clearly it hadn't been prepared for her arrival. Ilene had the whole tower to herself, save for the lower chambers occupied by her private envoy. Adith supposed that she, too, would likely now inhabit one of these rooms, and found herself wondering whenever she passed a door whether her new home-to-be was behind it. She wasn't sure whether she wanted one that looked over the courtyard, or one that looked out across the glen - though as the windows in servants' quarters, even here, would likely be horn rather than glass paned and therefore only translucent, the question was likely redundant.

Finally, she reached the lady's chambers. Pausing to check her that her attire was still tidy and her long hair still neatly tucked away in its usual knot at the nape of her neck, she knocked crisply at the door.,

"It's open." The call sounded strangely distant, but Adith pushed open the door nonetheless and stepped inside.

The light and the cold air alike hit Adith like a wall as she entered - it seemed that every one of the mullioned windows around the edge of the room had been opened, along with their shutters, to allow the light in and the air to flow. Barr the wedge of stairwell that Adith had entered from, the round chamber appeared to take up the space at the top of the tower in its entirety - the ceiling reaching a point a good five and twenty feet above her head, rafters hidden from view by the heavy drapes that hung across them.

The clutter of furniture and possessions was such that it took a moment to resolve the basics - the large four poster bed off to the side, the dressing screen, wooden barrel for bathing, table for dining, and so on becoming discernible among the scattered objects, unpacked clothing, and other personal items including some curiously shaped cases and boxes that had presumably arrived with the lady.

Ilene herself was not noticeable anywhere in the room, and it was perhaps due to its unexpected nature that it took Adith a moment to notice that the young woman was in fact not in the room but seated in one of the window sconces, leaning backwards out of the window itself, her attention apparently fixed on a point somewhere beneath her - outside the tower.

"My Lady Ilene," Adith said, eyes widening as she took in the other woman's precarious position. Stepping forward quickly, she crossed the room and came to stand next to the window, hesitating from actually reaching out to grab Ilene lest the surprise cause her to start and fall. "Please, let me help you inside."

Ilene turned to look at Adith, barely taking the time to register her before grinning and reaching to tug her sleeve lightly. "Come and see," she said, shifting over on the deep, narrow sconce to make some space. "Down there," she pointed down the outside tower wall.

Dutifully Adith leaned out, though not enough to displace Lady Ilene any further from her perch. Narrowing her eyes, she sought the source of the other woman's fascination, scanning over the rough stone until she caught sight of something moving, almost perfectly camoflaged against the brown and grey of the stone. Ilene leant close in next to her, stretching out her hand in front of them both to point at the spot. "It's a house martin, building a nest," she said. "When the light catches her you can see her blue head. She's here every year, and usually there are others up in the eaves," she added, "but she's a good two months early and all alone. I wonder what happened."

"Who could say?" Adith replied with a shake of her head, withdrawing from the window as quickly as was polite. "Though I would be happy to speculate if my lady would just come inside..."

"Oh, be calm, I'm not going to fall," Ilene said with a wave of her hand - a gesture for which she removed her grip from the window frame. "And if I did the fault would be my own. Are you here to bring a message from my father?"

"Er, no. My name is Adith Tarn, m'lady, and I have been assigned as your personal guard while you are here at Norstead. From now on I will be in charge of your safety and security at all times."

"Oh." Ilene sat forward now, looking properly at her visitor. "I don't need a personal guard," she said in a tone that was at once defiant and resigned.

Adith straightened her back; appearances were important, after all, and she wanted to inspire both trust and confidence in her abilities. "Under normal circumstances I am sure that would be the case," she allowed, inclining her head. "However, your father has decided such measures are required for the time being. I promise you I will do everything in my power to ensure that your freedom is preserved as well as your well-being."

Ilene's eyes narrowed thoughtfully. She had the same colouring as her father - his distinctive blue eyes and dark hair, her usually pale cheeks pink from the cool air of the room. "If he has his way I'll be stuck in my room until the summer," she said.

"He cares for your safety very much, m'lady."

"I'd rather be dead than a prisoner." The younger woman's chin jutted defiantly at this, but there was something in her eyes beyond simple stubbornness. Adith suddenly got the feeling that she was being tested in some way.

"Unfortunately, m'lady, if you do not allow me to do my job you will not be dead - you will be a prisoner, one controlled by a man who views you simply as a tool to gain power and influence for himself." Adith spoke calmly, hoping that the truth would suffice to convince Ilene of her sincerity, and that revealing it would not make things worse. "Your father's protection may seem stifling now, but I imagine it is nothing compared to what awaits you should Lord Melith's plans succeed. No one wants to see that happen - least of all your father. And myself."

This seemed to quieten Ilene's protestations, and she slumped a little where she sat, sighing. "Melith. Very well." She glanced up at Adith with a newly calculating expression. "Is that knowledge I am meant to have?"

"If it was, I am sure Parry would have told you," Adith admitted, looking slightly worried. "Any discretion you choose to show in regards to your knowledge of it would be appreciated."

"Our secret, you mean?"

She hadn't intended on letting her first meeting with Lady Ilene reach such levels of familiarity - though it was difficult to distance oneself completely from a person one was meant to spend every waking hour with, it wasn't the job of a bodyguard to be a friend or confidante. Indulging in talk like this only made it more difficult to maintain a professional demeanor and distracted from the job at hand. At least, this was what was going through Adith's mind while at the same time she gave the other woman a smile and nodded. "Something like that, yes."

"Hm. Well, then I suppose we could probably come to some sort of arrangement." Ilene stood and turned, closing the window.

"Oh no, m'lady..." Adith's smile was gone now. "I'm afraid I cannot bargain your protection just to ensure my own."

"That's not exactly what I meant." Ilene turned around, taking another step closer to Adith, meeting her eyes. Adith noticed now that even in soft indoor shoes the other woman's height almost matched her own. "Officer Tarn, I have no wish to remain in this tower for unforseeable future. But neither do I want to be kidnapped, or to worry my father, or to cause you to be reprimanded. I will not, however, be kept in the dark as to the reasons for my confinement. Do you begin to see?"

"Perhaps it would be best for you to speak to your father directly about these matters..."

"Oh, no, I don't think so. There is only one person on this earth for whom my father will put a friendly veneer on the truth, and I am she. You will be my confidante, my eyes and ears. In return you win my cooperation."

Adith knew she should refuse. Lady Ilene was all but asking her to become a spy - a job she did not want nor relish. Worse yet, she would be betraying her Lord's trust, not to mention his secrets. She did, however, feel that Ilene had a right to know her situation, and knew that it would only help if she were to be aware of the dangers she was in. The promise of her cooperation was tempting as well, and meant that perhaps her job would not be as fraught with trouble as she had thought it might. "I have told you all I know, m'lady," she said uncertainly, unable to lift her gaze from the stone-flagged floors. "There is nothing else I can divulge to you."

"Officer Tarn, has no one ever told you that you cannot lie to a Ravel?"

Despite her misgivings Adith had to smile, glancing up at the other woman, who looked back at her levelly. "Which is part of what worries me about your proposed arrangement. Your father is no easier to fool than you are, m'lady. I do not wish to draw his ire in either of our directions."

"It seems to me that you will be seeing far more of me than of my father, Tarn. You must practice concealment with one of us. Who will it be?"

Switching tactics, Adith cleared her throat, then spoke. "There may come a time when I will tell you to do something you do not like. You agree to follow my orders, no matter how little sense they make or how little you like them?"

"Guards don't give orders to their charges, Tarn, they give instructions," Ilene corrected her pertly, moving past her to find a seat for herself. "I understand that there will be many things I must do that I don't like for my own safety or my father's." She settled into one of the large, low darkwood chairs by the currently unlit fireplace, relaxing down into the furs that had been draped over it for comfort. "My wish is that I am at all times informed as to why these actions are necessary, and why such decisions are being made. My understanding will greatly improve your own comfort and ease of operation."

"I am sure it will," Adith muttered under her breath, turning to face the younger woman again. "Then may I please instruct you never to hang out your - or any - window like that again. You nearly stopped my heart. I am sure I do not need to explain why I make this request."

"What if you're there to hold me?" the other woman asked now, almost without skipping a beat. "You're my protector, after all."

"But not your nursemaid. If you insist on endangering yourself regularly I will have no option but to forbid you certain activities."

"I was hardly in danger, Tarn, I was looking out of the window. You're here to prevent me from being abducted, not to stop me falling out of a window."

"I am sure your father would remember that should you end up dead in the courtyard," Adith said flatly, struggling to keep her tone neutral.

The corners of Ilene's mouth twitched slightly.

"If m'lady would like I can send for a small looking-glass to be sent up - it would be possible to observe the birds that way without risking life and limb."

"I have one, thank you."

"Very well." Adith was already growing tired of the constant bargaining - she had thought perhaps that Lady Ilene would admit that her safety was more important than winning small battles, but she suspected now that probably was not the case. She would have to keep a close eye on her, lest she do anything impetuous that might invite trouble.

Ilene, it seemed, was unperturbed by Adith's lack of good humour, and merely relaxed down a little further in her chair before asking, "So what now? Are you to just stand and watch me all day?"

"No. Now I go to move my things to a room closer to yours while you stay here. After that I will return and stay outside your door until nighttime."

"And at nighttime?"

"I will sleep, and someone else will stand outside your door."

Ilene raised her eyebrows. "That doesn't sound like very much fun for you. Just as well we'll have so much to talk about."

"It's difficult to talk through a door, m'lady," Adith pointed out.

"Wouldn't I be better watched still from inside my chambers?"

"Standing outside the door is a more effective way of deterring intruders - if I waited until they were inside they would be that much nearer you and it would be far easier for them to do you harm. Unless you are concerned about them coming through the windows," Adith added with a pointed look.

"Well, you really never know, do you?"

"I think we can be reasonably sure , in this case."

"Then answer me this, how do you know I'm not leaving through the window?"

"Er... pardon me?"

"If you're standing outside the door," Ilene explained with a slight air of condescension, "how do you know that I'm in here, and that I'm not off on the roof or something?"

"M'lady... I understand that this may be a difficult change to make, but it's very important that you never leave this room without me or another of the guards by your side. We cannot protect you if you leave without us."

The young woman sighed, apparently tiring of the discussion. "Very well. Will you knock and alert me to your presence on your return?"

"Yes, m'lady," Adith said with a nod. "Of course."

"Thank you."

 

Adith didn't have much to move - just a small chest with her clothes and a few personal items, which she could easily have carried herself. That didn't stop Cale, who was off-duty and had spotted her gathering her things, from offering to help and appreciative of the company she had accepted.

"So you're bound for the East Tower, then? I hope you took extra socks..."

"I'm not convinced Lady Ilene won't keep me running around enough that I'll never feel the cold," Adith said, rolling her eyes.

"Impetuous as ever, is she? Or has she turned into an imperious brat?"

Adith gave him a look that was perfectly clear to read. "I couldn't say."

Cale chuckled. "A generous helping of both, eh?"

"Mm. I suppose I can understand... it can't be a particularly exciting prospect being kept sequestered in a room like that for who knows how long. Still, she could be a bit more cooperative..."

"Ach, you'll get there," Cale said, stopping to let Adith past him as they reached the door of what were to be her new quarters. "No one defies Adith Tarn for long."

She chuckled at this, pushing open the door and stepping into the room. It was small, but larger than what she was used to, and though the ceiling wasn't nearly as high as it had been in Lady Ilene's quarters it was still sufficiently high for Adith's tall frame. There was a bed against one wall, in which was set a window (which, by her calculations, would be facing out over the glen, even if she couldn't see it clearly) that let in the morning light. A chair and table took up much of the rest of the opposite wall, and small hearth at the end of the room completed the furnishings.

"Your own fireplace, Adith - I should start calling you m'lady," Cale said, dumping her bags on the bed.

"More likely they figured I wouldn't be much use frozen solid. Thank you for your help - you really didn't have to."

"It was my pleasure. Will I see you at the hall, or will you be having meals up here now?"

"Up here, for the time being. Lady Ilene is not known to be here, at least for now, and I would like to preserve that illusion as long as possible."

"Well, you make sure you don't find yourself taking her meals to her. You're her bodyguard, not her servant."

Adith laughed. "Don't you worry. I don't think it will come to that."

"You see that it doesn't." Cale moved toward the door, now. "I'd better leave you to get back to your charge."

"If she's still there."

Cale said nothing, only raising his eyebrows and stifling an amused smirk. "See you later, Adith."

Setting her things to rights took only a few minutes, and it wasn't long after Cale departed that Adith left the room herself and returned up the stairs to Lady Ilene's tower room. She knocked three times on the door and then turned, putting her back to the wall and settling in for her first session guarding the Lord's daughter.

 

There was no doubt Ilene was in. In the past hours that Adith had spent outside her chamber, she'd heared various sounds - the rustlings and tappings of various bags and boxes being opened and closed, presumably as the other woman unpacked, the sound of a harp being tuned and a couple of quick melodies being plucked out on it before it was presumably put to one side, the windows all being reopened - causing her to turn and listen at the door, poised to burst in if it sounded as though Ilene was making an exit (she did not). She had not however made any more to exit her room, and indeed when a servant brought up her food (and Adith's, the guard was relieved to see) the lady didn't even answer the knock at her door, leaving it for the servant to take the initiative and enter without a word, leaving empty handed.

Adith was no stranger to long, boring duties, and though she missed the comradrery of the practice yard and the guards' room off the kitchen, she was glad to have a job to do. She had not joined the guards for the glory - her father had been captain of the Guards in his day, and so it had seemed the natural choice - she had been a bright and active child, and though her mother's family were all modestly successful merchants the idea of being harnessed to a stall for the rest of her life hadn't appealed. Of course, now she was harnessed to the keep and Lord Garas, but that was different.

Eventually, sometime in the early afternoon, there came a call. "Tarn?"

Adith shifted, then turned to push open the door slightly. "Yes, m'lady?"

"I'm terribly sorry," came the voice, at present disembodied. Then Ilene's head appeared from around the screen. She was dressed in a loose robe, sleeves rolled up, her hands stained with peat. Apparently the latest round of noises had been the fireplace being made. "I, er, didn't really think far enough ahead," she said, holding her hands up. "You couldn't send down for some hot water, could you?" She made an apologetic face. "That one isn't hot enough to boil water yet."

"Er... yes, of course." Adith had to admit to her surprise; by the breezy way Ilene had treated her earlier she had assumed she would have been more than happy to have the servants do all the hard work for her. "Right away, m'lady. Is there anything else you would like?"

"Some logs, if possible, for the fire. I wouldn't like it to die now that I've finally got it going."

"Yes, m'lady. Right away."

The logs took very little time, but it was ten minutes before a steaming bucket of water was conveyed up the stairs by one of Ilene's regular serving staff. The servant - a young man whom Adith knew to be nicknamed 'Stick' for some reason and who had worked in the stables before leaving to serve Ilene, shot Adith a weary but amused look as he tramped up the final flight that led to her door.

The guard peered round the door as the young man entered, curious to see if the room was in any less of a chaotic state than it had been earlier. It seemed Lady Ilene had certainly rearranged some, though whether it was any neater was a debatable opinion. Though there were no longer clothes or boxes and bags strewn around, it seemed that the unpacking of said containers had resulted in an explosion of a different sort of clutter. The large dining table that sat more or less in the middle of the room was now covered with probably the largest collection of unfamiliar or scarce objects that Adith had ever seen. There were various different sorts of containers - some wood, some clay, some metal and some even glass, there were various writing implements of every shape and size imaginable and a variety of parchments, tubs of pigments and ink, a large book stand with a large open book upon it - although she could not see what was written or drawn therein. There were looking glasses, and various metal objects of odd, regular shapes and sizes, and there were pieces of leather, and leather working tools.

Again Adith had to admit surprise - she hadn't expected Lady Ilene to be content with embroidery and needlework, but nor had she expected this alchemist's collection of hobbies and oddities, many of which she could only guess at their true purpose.

"Ah, my thanks, Stick," she heard, and the lady moved into view through the doorway, pulling out a chair for the boy to put the bucket down and first testing the water with her fingertips before plunging her hands in. She seemed to catch slight movement from Adith's direction, then, for she looked up and caught the guard looking through the doorway, and shot her a smile and a single raised eyebrow.

"...my lady seems to be settling into her new quarters well," Adith remarked, hoping she didn't look too surprised. "It seems you have brought many things to keep you well occupied for the coming weeks."

"Well, I didn't anticipate getting a lot of walking or riding done, certainly."

"I am sure many of those stuck outside in this weather envy your seclusion, m'lady."

"Perhaps you could find one of them to take my place, and I'll just work outside under a hood until the spring..." Ilene smirked, although Adith was quite sure that if taken seriously she would jump at the opportunity.

"It would be a shame to hide a face as lovely as yours under a hood." A moment after Adith spoke she regretted it; she had slipped all too easily into the familiar charming tones and words she used with visiting noblewomen, who were used to being flattered and rarely questioned it, even when coming from a woman like herself. At first she thought she'd got away with it - with an easy smile, Ilene lifted her chin a little in a gesture of mute acceptance of Adith's flattery as fact, just as any other noblewoman would. But as she looked back to her handwashing, her brows drew together slightly and her lips pursed in thought, and Adith found herself once more at a loss as to what that thought might be.

Thinking it would be best to withdraw now, before she had a chance to say anything else inappropriate, Adith stepped back into her post by the side of the door. She took a deep breath, placing one hand on the hilt of her sword for reassurance. She wished suddenly that Ilene had been nothing more than a slightly spoiled, entitled young woman - it would make her job easier, if not more pleasant.

Stick was soon followed by another servant with a bucket of logs, who shot Adith a questioning look before entering on her nod. Adith heard Ilene greet the newcomer, insist on taking the basket from him, all her behaviour seemingly at odds with the somewhat superior nature she had affected that morning. Still, she was glad to see the other woman was decent to the servants - it would make her job that much easier if they were willing to cooperate with the somewhat difficult demands that would be made upon them with Lady Ilene's sequestration in the tower.

 

The evening meal came and went, Adith then being relieved of duty, though not for her food, which she had to bolt down before making her way up to Lord Garas's quarters for a briefing. Once again she stopped outside the door to check that everything was neatly in place before rapping smartly.

"Enter."

Adith was pleased to see Lord Garas at the fire; he looked to be in a decent enough mood, and even had a goblet of wine in one hand, which he didn't often indulge in after meals. She was less pleased to see Dil skulking by his chair. Of course he would be there, especially if there was anything to report about the security of the keep. That didn't mean she had to enjoy his presence.

"Tarn, well met. I'd like a report on your day, please, if I may."

"Certainly, m'lord." As she had been taught relayed her day's activities to Lord Garas quickly and efficiently, leaving out the bulk of her conversation with Lady Ilene and certainly omitting the part where she had agreed to relay all conversations back to her in exchange for good behavior. Adith was thorough, but not stupid, and as she hoped to encourage the other woman's cooperation in some other way hoped the 'deal' would not come in necessary at all.

"It sounds as though she has been almost uncharacteristically cooperative, Tarn," Garas said with careful approval. "I am glad to hear this."

"I will continue to do my best to ensure Lady Ilene's comfort and safety, m'lord. It is my utmost concern."

Garas nodded. "And you, Merik?"

Dil almost slunk from the shadows, standing almost between Adith and Garas in a way that had to be deliberate. "I have completed a prelimenary inspection of the grounds, my lord, and find them almost the very model of the impenetrable fortress. My efforts will continue however to ensure that it stays that way."

"Good, good. Do not let complacency get the best of you - Melith will seize upon any opportunity, however small, to gain the advantage."

Dil smiled at this, although from Adith's angle it looked more like a sneer.

Garas spoke again, this time to Adith. "Tarn, I want you to make your own choice from the keep guard for support in this. Use your own judgment on this, and accordingly I will expect you to be accountable for their integrity. Do you understand?"

"Of course, m'lord. I will speak with the captain of the guard tomorrow to arrange the new roster. I will vouch for each guard chosen for duty on my own honor."

"Very well. On that note, Tarn, I'll let you get back to your duties. I will speak to you further in the coming days."

 

Adith returned to her post until the evening came, hearing nothing more from Ilene except the sounds of further unpacking and moving of heavy objects from within. Eventually Cale came to relieve her, and it was with great pleasure that she retired to her own small room, the fire within warming it to a pleasant if not overly warm temperature. After washing the worst of the day's labor from her skin with a cloth she stripped off her uniform and all but dove into the bed, pulling the heavy blankets over herself. This was one of the only times she could remember having an entire room to herself, and though she enjoyed the communal spirit of the guardroom she intended to take advantage of the luxury while she could. At the very least, she would not have to worry about her nightmares disturbing anybody's sleep but her own.

Whether due to the activity of the first day in this new job, the change of scenery, or simple chance, she found herself waking not from a bad dream, but from the light coming in through the milky window the next morning, not too long after dawn. The fire had died down almost completely in the night, but not so much that there wasn't still a little heat in the clothes she'd left hanging in front of it and the water she'd left in its metal pitcher on the harth, and so she was reasonably warm and comfortable as she prepared to leave her room, only to be halted by a knock at the door just as she was about to lift the latch.

The young woman behind it Adith only vaguely recognised - she was one of Ilene's envoy but not someone who she remembered ever having worked at the castle. When she spoke this was confirmed by her light southern lilt. "I brought breakfast," she said. "The lady Ilene says you're to be served in your room in the mornings, or with her if you prefer."

"Oh," Adith said, blinking with surprise. Although she would've relished another few minutes to herself, sitting alone in her room and savoring the quiet of the morning, she knew every minute she dallied was another minute that she was not truly doing to her duty. "I'll, um, take my meal with Lady Ilene, I suppose."

"Very well, officer." The other woman hesitated, cleary with more to say but unsure she should go on.

After a few seconds' wait Adith cleared her throat. "Is there anything else?"

"I, ah. Was merely going to say that Ilene is often not at her best in the morning," the servant said after another pause. "She is fond of working late into the night, and so can be... irritable."

"I see. Well, I will be sure not to give her any reason for which to be irritable with me," she said with a wry smile. "Thank you... I'm afraid I do not remember your name."

The young woman gave her a curious smile. "I don't think we've ever been introduced," she agreed with a small tip of her head. "I'm Meri Fletcher. Meri."

"Well, Meri Fletcher. I'm Officer Tarn, but you can call me Adith. Thank you for the warning - it is true that I am finding your mistress an interesting person to serve. Any hints you can continue to give me will be well appreciated."

Meri nodded, the beginnings of a smirk tugging at her mouth. "I'll do my best," she said.

"Thank you," Adith said yet again. Then, she glanced towards the stairway that led up to the solar and raised her eyebrows. "Is she awake yet?"

"I suspect not."

"Very well. I am going to relieve the officer at the door - will you keep my breakfast until the lady calls for hers?"

"It could be some time..."

"Don't worry. I'm used to forgoing my own comforts while on duty."

"Ah, well, I would usually lay out her breakfast while she sleeps and leave it ready for when she wakes. Perhaps then the best plan would be for you to wait within for her to wake?"

"Very well. Lead on, Meri."

 

The lady's chamber was very much as it had been the previous day, still littered with the paraphenalia of her various curious hobbies, but the shutters were now closed and the curtains drawn, the room warm, a little stuffy, and filled with the scents of woodsmoke and sleep - in the case of Ilene a healthy, not entirely unpleasant aroma. Adith dismissed Cale from his vigil at the door with a warm word and stationed herself just inside the room, watching as Meri cleaned off a small section of the table, stacking the assorted parchments and small curios at the other end and then arranging several covered dishes of food in the now-clear area. She thanked the servant once again as she left - it could not hurt to work with all of Ilene's staff to ensure her safety and well-being.

Time passed slowly, the room as still as ever for a good hour or more, the only sound Ilene's soft, shallow breathing from the bed on the other side of the room. The heavy curtains around her bed pulled back, though from where Adith was she could see little of the other woman where she lay, only the blankets bundled up around her and her long, dark hair spread out on the pillow around her head.

The dark, quiet room had a soporific effect - Adith fought against the stupor that threatened to overtake her as she stood silently against the wall. She managed not to succumb to sleep but did find herself besieged by daydreams - and as the minutes slowly ticked her attention began to wander. Perhaps it was the mixture of woodsmoke and sleep that cast Adith's memories several years back to the first time she had accompanied Lord Garas away from the keep in her official capacity as a member of his personal guard.

 

"Now, this is a routine visit," Anth said as he observed the neat line of guards lined up by the gate as they awaited the wagon containing the lord's envoy. "But nonetheless these are perilous roads at this time of year, so you must always keep on your guard , and it's vital that you outriders in particular are alert at all times."

Adith's horse shifted underneath her and she reined it in too eagerly, earning a cross look from Anth, who disapproved of any wasted actions or unnecessary displays of emotion. She flashed him a guilty smile, straightening her back and sitting ramrod-straight as he continued his instructions.

"You all know the signs to watch for - at any suspicious activity you are to report to me at the head of the train and I will issue instructions. No one is to take matters into their own hands, and no one is to dismiss anything on their own judgment. Understood?"

There was a chorus in the affirmative from the guards, and not before time, as with a clatter of cart wheels Lord Garas's wagon finally approached flanked by his two personal bodyguards: a tall, fair haired man named Wick who was known for his calm, unflappable nature and for the fact he rarely spoke to anyone, and Natia Dey, one of the few women guards and the only one in the lord's personal staff, a pale but sturdy woman a few years Adith's senior whose vibrant red hair and profusion of freckles marked her out as being from the Western Isles.

The wagon rolled calmly onward towards the gate, and Anth nodded in satisfaction before turning to mount his own horse. Once astride he spurred it ahead of the wagon, exchanging words with the guards at the gates as they opened it to permit the train exit. A quarter of the mounted guards formed up around Anth, another quarter flanking the wagon, and another quarter trailing behind in an orderly line. The remaining guards, of which Adith was one, followed behind but soon began to trail, spreading out until until they could barely see the wagon train and one another.

The weather was fine and the road wide and clear, though the land around was heavily wooded, and Adith found herself skirting far out so that she could keep to clear enough ground for her horse. She was glad of the change of scenery - though she loved the keep, its high walls could get monotonous after long enough spent inside them, and she had not had enough free time as of late to sojourn to town, much less take a ride across open fields.

After what must have been six hours of solid riding, the envoy stopped to eat. They would not be taking the time to make a fire and cook, their meals were bread and cheese and cold, spiced meats. It was a welcome break nonetheless, however short, and the riders climbed from their horses to sit around in groups on the flat patch of clear ground they'd found just off the road. Garas did not leave his wagon, and his two bodyguards did not leave his side.

The mood was jovial enough, and Adith found herself sitting with Cale and several other young men, trading jests as they finished off their portions. She had learned to take as good as she was given, and though it felt a bit as if she was playing a part, it was usually a role to she content to claim. Every so often she would glance to the wagon, wondering at Garas's mood and the outcome of their trip.

She knew a little about the politics of the ares from Doctor Carroll, the schoolmaster of the keep who had taught her and every other young guard to read and write and do numbers, and had informed them a little about the world around them. It seemed that Garas was in ongoing negociations regarding the status of one of the Borders keeps to the south. The lord of that keep and landowner of the surrounding area, Nidun, was a proud and ambitious man, and was not keen to pay the duties owed to the General Council in return for protection and policing of the surrounding countryside, protecting it from local bandits and warlords.

This was his own choice, naturally - if he chose to lose that protection that was for him to decide, but given his lands' proximity to the Southlands it was a worry to the council that a lack of protection would result in the region being lost altogether. Garas had been sent to negociate, to reason with the proud young lord and hopefully change his mind.

Adith had every faith that Garas would succeed, despite the pride that Nidun clung to. As their meal concluded, she remounted her horse and reined it close to the wagon, hoping to catch a glance of her lord. The shutters were closed, so she rode on, though not before catching the eye of the red-headed bodyguard who stood sentry by the wagon's door. Natia raised her eyebrows, but said nothing, and it was hard to tell whether she was disapproving or curious.

The journey continued onward uneventfully; though there had been reports of bandits on the road there was small chance that they would attack such a large and well-defended party. Adith whistled to herself as she rode, counting birds that flew by overhead as a way to pass the time.

Perhaps it was due to this, then, that she didn't know she was being followed until she felt the sharp thud of a rock against her back. Turning sharply and drawing her sword in the same movement she found herself staring at a familiar face.

"That could have been an arrow and you'd be dead right now. And we'd be an outrider down," she said matter-of-factly.

Adith blushed deeply, fingers tightening on the reins as she let her sword drop to her side. "I suppose I'm lucky it was just a rock, then," she said as Natia approached.

"Mm. Well, keep a better eye out next time," she said, "you're not out for a jaunt in the countryside."

"Aye, Officer Dey." Sheathing her sword, Adith turned her horse to match direction with Natia. "As you say."

"You're Adith Tarn, correct? Daughter of Reynar Tarn." Natia narrowed her eyes as she looked the other woman over. "I have seen you at the keep but did not know you had finished training."

"Three months ago. Anth - Officer Lorend, that is - has kept me busy since. This is my first mission outside the keep."

"How very exciting."

A frown flickered across Adith's face. She had never spoken directly with Natia before, but she had always seemed a cheerful, if occasionally fiery-tempered, woman. She couldn't tell if the other woman was being sarcastic or flatly unenthusiastic, but either way she felt as if she was being mocked. "I'm sorry if this is out of line, but why aren't you riding with Lord Garas's wagon? You are his personal bodyguard, after all."

"Myself and Wick are relieved to take regular patrols around the perimeter every few hours," Natia said, her tone showing that she was a little perturbed at being asked. "To check that our outriders are doing their jobs properly," she added. "You haven't noticed?" she asked innocently.

"I... um."

"Well, it's good to know that Wick is as stealthy as ever," Natia said with a small smile. "As to you, well, you've been keeping an eye out well enough,though you need to look behind you more. But few brigands will move as quietly as we do."

"Aye, Officer." Adith's blush continued; she hoped it wasn't too noticeable to the other woman. She had thought she was performing her duties adequately, but apparently she had been caught out. "Thank you for your advice. I will endeavor to improve."

"Don't be too hard on yourself, Tarn. You will in time develop another sense for these things. For now you have only the usual five to rely upon."

"I guess they'll have to do," Adith said with a chuckle. She glanced around then, spotting nothing out of the ordinary but making sure to check behind her as well as to the sides before looking back to Natia. "How is Lord Garas's mood? Is he hopeful for the coming negotiations?"

"Lord Garas is neither hopeful nor pessimistic," Natia replied. "He is not given to speculation."

"Yes, but surely he must-"

"If he did, do you think he would share the information with one of his guard?"

"Perhaps not, but you must be able to tell, just from your own observations..."

"...And if I could, do you think I would be likely to share such things with a young outrider?" Natia raised her eyebrows in Adith's direction again, though she looked more amused than stern. "Why are you so concerned for the Lord Garas's mood?"

"I just... wish him success in his endeavors," Adith said, looking slightly uncertain now. "He is a great man, and if anyone can change Nidun's mind it will be him.

There was a long pause. Eventually Natia spoke again. "It's good to see such loyalty. I imagine you got that from your father, eh?"

"Did you know him?"

"He was captain of the guard when I first joined. He trained me."

Adith nodded - she was well used to guards reminiscing about her father's turn as captain. He had been a well-liked and well-respected man, and his death over a decade before had been a sad day for all, though none were sadder than Adith herself. "He admired Lord Garas greatly," she said quietly then, swallowing past the lump in her throat that always came with mention of her father.

"So do we all. But it's best, as a member of his guard, not to get too close to his affairs," Natia said.

"Yes, you're right. Of course."

The other woman smiled a little, glancing over once more. She said nothing. Under Natia's light-eyed gaze Adith squirmed a little; it wasn't often that one of the bodyguards spent long with members of the regular guard, especially while on duty, and she was beginning to wonder if Anth had requested that Natia observe her in order to judge her progress. Whether the red-haired woman sensed this or not, she seemed nonetheless to decide then that it was time to move on, for she said, "We'll speak again, no doubt," and pulled ahead of Adith, soon turning off out of sight in the forest.

 

Lord Garas's party reached Nidun's Borders keep without incident after three days' heavy but uneventful travel. Adith had been careful to keep a close watch on her surroundings, but she never saw any intruders, nor Natia or Wick coming to reprimand her for any laxity in her duties. Garas and his bodyguards disappeared into the small but well-kept keep to the dinner that had been laid in their honor, and the rest of his guards were given beds in one of the empty guardhouses and meals of their own to quell their rumbling stomachs.

The next day the negotiations began. Tensions were somewhat high between the two groups; they both knew of the somewhat delicate nature of the talks and acted accordingly. Adith witnessed one or two misunderstandings between Nidun's guards and Garas's own that might have grown into skirmishes had it not been for Anth's watchful eye and strong hand. Eventually he gathered the guard together in the courtyard for a sparring session, hoping to encourage them to release their high energy against one another instead of their hosts. To Adith's surprise, Natia was among them, though Wick was nowhere to be seen.

Armed with one of the wooden shortswords, Natia lined up with the rest of the guard as Anth paired them off. She watched a series of matches between the seasoned members of the guard, and the atmosphere grew lively and jovial as they progressed. Eventually Anth reached the place where she was standing, clacking his own practice sword against hers to draw her attention. "Tarn! Quit daydreaming!" he said shortly, snorting as she jumped to attention. "You're against Dey. Get to it."

Adith's eyes widened as she looked over to the other woman, who stood at the other end of the courtyard, her sword balanced easily across one shoulder. "Um, sir? Are you sure?" Adith swallowed.

"When have you ever known me to be unsure, Tarn?" Anth asked with a raise of his eyebrows. Then, hesitating, he leant slightly closer. "She's felled four men now, so you'll be fresher than her. Stay loose, stay alert, and... she has a weak shoulder. That's all the help you're getting - your job to work out which one and use it." Anth straightened, raising his voice again. "I said, get to it!"

A small murmur went up as Adith stepped out into the 'arena'. She was the only other woman on this mission and though day to day little remark was made upon this, in this jolly state there were one or two catcalls as the two women approached one another.

Adith shut them out; she was used to it, and besides, she had more important things to worry about. She watched Natia as she approached, trying to observe any slight tells that might give away her bad shoulder or any other weakness Adith might be able to take advantage of. She didn't spot any, however. The redhead was not going to make this easy.

She gave a nervous smile and saluted, immediately falling back into the ready position that had been drilled into her by Anth, and before him her father. She was talented, there was no doubt about that, and had been well-trained, but the other woman had several years of experience on her.

Natia, by contrast, was still standing at ease, her posture casual, her sword hand still hanging loosely by her side. She stopped short some yards from Adith, and waited. Around them the other guards heckled and shouted, most of them urging Adith to attack. She held back a few moments longer, drawing in a deep breath and glancing around to her surroundings before advancing. She made a rather obvious first swing, exposing her own side just a bit too long and inviting the redhead to use the opening against her. On this occasion Natia took the bait, clearly misjudging how much training Adith had had, and found herself easily blocked, having to come around quickly to defend the blow that followed.

She pulled back a little with a slight smile. "Interesting," she murmured, too quietly for anyone but Adith to hear.

The match continued; Natia had learned quickly not to underestimate Adith's abilities and refused to be drawn into any more obvious traps, which meant the younger woman had to abandon the ruse and focus on honest fighting. Perhaps if they had both been well-rested she would have found it hard to keep up with Natia, but as it was she knew she had the upper hand when it came to stamina and reserves. Part of her cried out that this wasn't fair, but by now she was caught up in the excitement of the moment, pressing and blocking and driving the redhead back before being driven back herself by a sudden flurry of blows.

Then, on a swipe from the other woman, she spotted it - the slight drop in Natia's sword-hand shoulder that indicated she was slightly limited in its movement. Suddenly she was caught in a dilemma - should she use this knowledge? Had she come by it honestly? At that moment Natia met her eyes, and she could almost hear the challenge issued - "Go on, do it if you dare".

With a burst of energy Adith began to hammer blows towards Natia's outside hand, putting all her strength into each one and forcing the other woman to defend against them. The wooden swords met with resounding cracks, the cheers of the onlooking guards building in volume as the two women intensified their fight.

Then came the moment when, with a sudden twist, Natia swapped her sword from her right to her left hand, blocking a further blow from Adith and locking their swords at the hilt, pulling her in until the younger woman could feel the guard's breath on her face. Natia smiled, though she was obviously in a little pain now from the way she winced with every heavy breath.

"There's something I want you to remember about this," she said quietly, those light eyes locked on Adith's.

"What?" the younger woman gasped, reeling from the shock as much of the impact of the blades.

"There is no cheating in swordplay. Only winning." Too late, Adith felt the other woman's foot hook around her ankle, and with a shove she went toppling backwards with no time or room to find her balance. The moment she hit the ground the tip of Natia's wooden sword came into view in front of her, pointed casually at her neck.

The other guards hooted and cheered as Adith relinquished her sword, climbing back to her feet as soon as Natia stepped away and brushing her dirty breeches off with both hands. Her pride was stinging but she managed a gracious smile before hurrying off to the sidelines. Having been beaten at her own game, she really couldn't blame the other woman if she had gloated a bit, but Natia merely excused herself shortly thereafter and disappeared inside the keep, presumably to seek out Wick and Lord Garas.

There was no way on this earth she could have known what had, in its own small way, begun that day.

 

"Is this always how you guard your charges, or only the ones you don't want to survive?"

Adith came back to the present with a start to find Ilene sitting up in bed, observing her with an amused and slightly imperious expression. "M'lady," she muttered, suddenly glad of the drawn curtains, as the darkness hid her reddening cheeks. "My apologies. I did not know you had awoken."

Ilene smiled tiredly. "That much is clear. Had Meri been with breakfast?"

"Yes, she has. It's on the table," Adith said, gesturing to the covered plates.

The young woman in the bed lifted her arms up and stretched lazily, the loose sleeves of her nightgown slipping down to expose pale, surprisingly toned arms.

"Apparently I am to eat with you."

"'Apparently'?" The lady raised her eyebrows.

"If my choice is to eat in my room or with you, I will eat with you."

"Well if you prefer to eat in the hall you're more than welcome, of course..." Ilene said, pulling back the covers and swinging her legs off the bed and into a pair of fur-lined slippers. "But here I have a table and so forth..."

"There is a table in the hall," Adith pointed out, shifting on her feet. "But I will not insist another guard do my duty while I dine."

"And so we're to enjoy breakfast together each morning. How nice." Though the other woman sounded a little weary and sarcastic, Adith found herself wondering at Meri's warning - she was hardly a dragon.

"If m'lady would prefer to dine alone that can be arranged in the future. I hope my presence will not be that intolerable, though."

"Quite the contrary, I'm sure."

As Ilene rose from the bed Adith left her post by the door and approached the table. She was no servant to dish out the lady's breakfast, but Ilene was a noble and as such deserved certain treatment. Adith removed the covers from the platters, revealing generous portions of freshly baked bread, smoked meats, dried fruits and other tempting delicacies from the kitchen. Adith's stomach rumbled at the sight of them.

Ilene didn't seem to think she deserved any ceremony, and indeed was already moving to serve portions of food onto both their plates. Somewhat surprised, Adith poured two mugs of water from the pitcher before her, then sat, hoping that Ilene would not be offended by such casual behavior. The dark haired noble didn't even seem to notice, only sitting herself once their plates were filled.

The beginning of the meal passed in silence; the guard had little clue as to what passed for decent mealtime conversation with the lady Ilene, as it seemed she was content to eat in silence. She still felt embarrassed for having dozed off earlier that morning; it certainly wasn't a common occurrence, and she didn't want the other woman thinking it was. "Erm," she said eventually, looking up from her plate. "I apologize again for my lack of alertness this morning. I hope you do not feel unsafe."

"Not at all." Ilene didn't look up from her food, although she did smile down at her plate. "I'm sure I can rely upon you."

"I will do my best, m'lady." Adith looked thoughtfully at the other woman, considering her expression. She seemed much more relaxed than she had the day before; perhaps she was settling into her confinement gracefully.

"So," Ilene said as she sat back and poured herself a mug of the warm, weak mead that had been sent up with breakfast. "What did my father say last night? I assume that you spoke to him?"

"Yes, I did. He wished to know how our first meeting had gone."

"And what did you tell him?"

"That you had seemed in good spirits and that I foresaw no problems arising from the necessary arrangements."

"And did he believe you?"

"Why wouldn't he?" Adith asked, looking slightly nonplussed.

"If you were my father would you trust reports of my cooperation?" the other woman asked pertly.

"It depends on who they're from."

"You're that skilled, eh?"

"No," Adith said with a shake of her head, leaning forward to grab one last piece of bread from the platter, "just that honest."

Ilene raised her eyebrows. "Well, it's good that you have confidence in your abilities."

"I have confidence that you will not make things more difficult than they have to be, m'lady. I thought we had reached an agreement yesterday."

"Indeed we did," the lady agreed. "So how was my father, Tarn? Did he seem in easy spirits? How was his mood?"

"His mood was fair," Adith replied, consoling herself that this was hardly a huge betrayal of trust. Reporting on Lord Garas's mood would not betray his confidence, nor cause her to feel guilty. "As I am sure you well know, it rare for the lord to be in truly easy spirits nowadays. But he did not seem overburdened when I saw him."

"Was your audience exclusive? Was anyone else there? Is Parry still at the keep?"

"I did not see him; I do not know if he is with us or not."

"So the two of you were alone?"

"No... it would be a rare occasion indeed if we were."

Ilene sat back a little, pleased to have gleaned this information, but apparently not yet satisfied. "Who else was there?"

"Merik," Adith responded, trying to keep her distaste for the man from showing in her voice.

"Little Dil Merik?" Lady Ilene looked positively amused by this. "Really?"

"You know of him, m'lady?"

"We were in school together - we're almost the same age and were about evenly matched in mind."

Adith filed this away - for all his negative traits, Dil could not be said to be a stupid man, and it was useful to know how Ilene measured up. "I see."

"We used to call him 'dill weed'. He was a rather pathetic creature." Ilene stood and began to gather up her plates, returning them to the trays on which they'd arrived. "I suppose he had the last laugh, though."

"Pardon?"

"Well, you know. He went on to train to be able to kill us all in our beds. Let's hope he doesn't hold a grudge, eh?" Ilene smirked.

"I suppose so," Adith said consideringly. She bit back the response that said he only trained to kill people in their beds because he was useless at killing them out of them, and managed a mild smile at the other woman.

"So is he part responsible for my protection, then?"

"Merik is responsible for ensuring the keep is safe for your presence, yes. By your father's orders."

"I see. Do you trust him? Merik, I mean?"

Adith frowned. "Excuse me, m'lady?"

Ilene raised her eyebrows. "I think you heard me."

"I trust him to perform his job adequately," the officer answered carefully, fingers worrying the leftover crust of bread on her plate. "I believe if there is trouble in the keep, he will spot it."

"And what about the man himself?" Ilene clearly would not be dissuaded. She fixed Adith with her clear, sharp gaze, lifting her mug of mead from the table without looking away.

"I do not see why this is relevant, m'lady. Your father trusts Merik - that is enough for me."

"It's relevant because I'm interested."

"Why is that?"

The other woman smiled a little. "I don't see why that's relevant."

Adith fell silent; if Ilene was going to be difficult, well, then so would she. Ilene let the silence stretch out until it was almost excruciating, even for as quiet a person as Adith. Ilene's gaze never faltered. Eventually, though, she pushed up from her seat, wandering over to the fireplace to prod at its smoldering contents with the poker.

"Is m'lady finished with her meal? Shall I send for a servant to take the dishes away?"

"Mm, all right." The other woman sounded somewhat distracted now, almost dismissive.

"Very well." Adith pushed back her chair and stood, casting one last look at the woman by the fire. She couldn't help but feel she had done something wrong, even though she knew that gossiping about other members of the keep would have been unprofessional and immoral. She had never had this problem before; usually members of the nobility were happy to ignore her and the other guards as if they were no more than decorative wall hangings. It was somewhat disconcerting.

"I suppose you'll be standing outside the door today, then? Have you already relieved the other guard?"

"Cale has gone off-duty, yes."

"Cale? Oh, the handsome one with the scar on his forehead?"

"Er... yes, I suppose so."

"Perhaps I should ask him to join me for breakfast in the morning..." Ilene shot Adith a glance, raising her eyebrows.

The other woman struggled to keep her expression neutral. "If m'lady would like I am sure Officer Terr would be honored to share a meal."

The younger woman's lips twitched. "I wonder whether he'd be more talkative than your good self?"

"I think my lady would find that I am perfectly willing to be talkative should she choose appropriate subjects to inquire about."

"Is that so?" Ilene raised her eyebrows at this, her expression brightening a little. "Well, come and sit down then," she said, gesturing towards one of the chairs by the fireplace and sitting in the other herself.

"Er..." Adith took a few steps towards the fireplace, then hesitated. "I should not."

"You can't watch me from a chair?"

"I cannot watch the corridor and your door from a chair, no."

"Nonetheless I will feel perfectly safe with you in here with me." Ilene settled down in her chair, sighing contentedly as the furs gathered around her.

Adith knew she should refuse to sit down; she ought to turn around and return to her post and accept that Ilene would most likely ignore her at best and make her job more difficult at worst. Still, she found herself moving towards the other chair, arranging her sword and perching on the edge.

"Good." The expression of approval teetered on the edge of patronising, but Ilene seemed not to have even noticed. "Where did you grow up, Tarn? Here, in the keep? Your late father was captain of the guard before Anth, was he not?"

"Yes, he was," she answered with a nod. "We came to the keep when I was young, and I grew up here from then on."

"And you have never lived anywhere else?"

"I have traveled, but my home has always been here."

"Oh?" Ilene looked interested now. "Where have you travelled to?"

 

"You have never been this far from Norstead before, have you?"

Adith drew her attention away from her horse's saddle, glancing over at the woman beside her. "No, it's true, this is the longest journey I have taken away from the keep. I suppose that's obvious, isn't it?"

"I don't think so," Natia said with a small smile. "I think you are hiding your nervousness well. One would have to be paying close attention to notice that you were in fact a little ill at ease."

"Oh." Though her relations with the redheaded bodyguard were now a bit friendlier, due to her own efforts to ameliorate them as much as anything else, Adith didn't know how to react to the insinuation that the other woman had been paying her 'close attention' and spotting her nerves. "I am enjoying the journey," she said honestly, "but I do admit some apprehension."

"Understandable - and probably sensible, in truth. After all, this countryside is hardly safe."

"Which is why we're here." Turning her gaze back to the straps and buckles before her, Adith resumed her preparations. The ritual of fastening saddlebags and tightening the girth was as soothing as it was necessary, though it didn't keep her from glancing over her shoulder at every small noise she heard.

The journey home from Nidun's keep was a little less comfortable than the trip out, for whatever reason. The talks, though fruitful, had been difficult, and had left their lord in a somewhat sharp mood. This emotion had gradually fallen over the whole envoy, until even the usually stoic guards were a little edgy.

Adith finished saddling her horse and collected its reins, looking over at Natia as the other woman knelt to run her hands down her horse's legs. She had taken every opportunity to speak with the other woman when she could; contrary to their first encounter she had found her friendly enough, and quick to laugh. She was also one of the most capable guards Adith had ever met during her life at the keep, and she found herself more than a little in awe of her.

Perhaps Natia felt Adith's eyes on her then, as when she straightened, patting her horse lightly on the neck, she looked around and found Adith's face. She smiled, and nodded.

"Um. Good luck today." Realizing what an idiotic thing that was to say, the blonde woman immediately turned away, cheeks burning, and led her horse towards the edge of the group of milling guards. It was bad enough to be beaten in front of everyone; it was worse to make a fool of herself in front of Natia herself.

Later - years later - Natia told Adith that that moment, watching Adith join her group and mount her horse, face flushed with embarrassment, had been the moment where Natia's own flame of genuine affection, or desire to know Adith better, had truly flickered into being. It was a candle that burned steadily until the day she died.

 

"I have accompanied your father on many of his visits to other lords, as well as his journeys to the council meetings. The farthest I have been is Evere; that was several years ago."

"The trip my father made?" Ilene raised her eyebrows. "That was an interesting trip, all-told. You were involved in the raid that occured on the road home, then?"

"Yes," Adith replied, a brief frown flickering across her face. "That was the first time I killed a man."

 

The weather had turned grey and rainy as the day wore on; the precipitation made it difficult for Adith to see the rest of the party on the road. She sat alert in her saddle, peering through rain-soaked trees as her horse squelched through the mud.

This meant that when she first saw the flicker of movement out of the corner of her eye, her heart didn't jump as it might have. She took a longer look, but it wasn't until she saw the hand on the haft of the near-concealed crossbow that she leapt into action.

She remembered Anth's orders - she was supposed to report to him what she had seen, so that he could formulate a plan to deal with the threat. That was assuming that he or the other guards were not dead, however - and that seemed like the more imminent threat. Raising a shout of alarm, she spurred her horse forward, leaning forward in the saddle as she guided it through the trees. She drew her sword as she rode, the other hand clutching the reins tightly as she prayed she would reach the intruder before he had a chance to fire. She heard the shot go off, the air cracking next to her ear as she felt the bolt whip past it, but before the brigand could reload she was upon him.

Her horse was no trained charger, but she urged him closer until she could see every detail of his face, including the surprise in his eyes as her blade came down towards his shoulder. He tried to block the blow with the crossbow but only succeeded in deflecting it slightly - it still scored deep into his flesh with a heavy bite.

The rest of what happened was a blur. Suddenly the woods were filled with people - guards, outriders, and outlaws, crossbow bolts and swords flying, yells and screams of pain filling the air.

Adith kept her seat as long as she could, battling the first attacker until he wheeled his horse, one-handed, and fled. By then she only had to turn to find another brigand, and she dove into the defense of the wagon against him, forgetting all the rules she tried to keep in her head and abandoning herself to instinct and ingrained habits. Fortunately, it seemed those instincts served her well, for she found herself meeting every blow, blocking, parrying, counterstriking even as her horse began to panic, unused to such close combat.

Eventually it grew too unruly to control and, grasping her sword in one hand, she dismounted to meet the enemy on the ground. Several brigands had been unhorsed by this point and as her feet touched ground she whirled to meet the nearest one, teeth gritted in a grimace of concentration. He met her blows with his own much heavier sword, using his few inches' height advantage to its fullest, every blow jarring through the bones of her arms as she brought both hands to her sword. Adith could hear the shouts and cries of her friends as she fought; the sounds only drove her onward, motivating her to give her all despite the odds against her. She remembered the lesson she had learned in her duel against Natia and refocused, trying to find his weaknesses as she blocked his blows.

Thinking back, she found it hard to give it any more significance than it had at that moment. As the years passed it had become distant enough that she could mark it and pick it out as a 'moment' rather than just a passing few seconds in the middle of a heaving throng of activity, but at the time, that was all it was - block, parry, and he left a gap, which she filled with a stab that went through his leather armour and into the soft flesh of his middle, clean through. He stared at her, and fell backwards, nearly taking her with him.

Wrenching her sword away, she had turned almost immediately to find her next foe. There had been no moment of silence for him, no reflection upon his death; she knew nothing about him, and at the time had cared nothing except that he was no longer a threat. The battle had continued until all the brigands had been subdued; either killed or captured, and Lord Garas's safety ensured.

Indeed, the only moment from the fight that had run through her mind that night as she lay, wrapped in her blankets a matter of inches from the guards lying on either side of her under the hastily erected covering they had put up against the wind and rain, was the few seconds where somehow, across the crowd of hacking, yelling people, Natia had met her gaze, and nodded.

 

"Anyway," Adith said, glancing at the floor in an effort not to let Ilene notice her expression, which she was finding hard to hide, "it is not so relevant now. I am sure m'lady is just as well-traveled, if not more so."

"Well, I have spent a good part of my time at [insert name here, can't remember], of course," Ilene said. "But in honesty I have no travelled as much as I would like. What I really want, one day, is to go over the border, or out to the Western Isles."

"Oh? Why is that?"

Ilene shrugged. "Well, I want to see the Southlands because I have heard that they build interesting houses. And I want to visit the Isles because I have heard they sing wonderful songs. But mostly," she added. "I want to travel, and one has to start somewhere."

"I am sure m'lady will have many opportunities in which to do so in the future," Adith said, inclining her head. She couldn't imagine traveling merely out of a desire to do so; her only experiences had been as part of an entourage and had been none of her choosing.

"Well, if I live through this latest trauma, anyway," Ilene said with a smirk.

"You have doubts?"

The other woman shook her head. "Not with you here," she said, suddenly serious.

Adith glanced up, trying to read the other woman's expression. She seemed genuine, though she would not put it past Ilene to try some new ploy. "I do not think I have given a good showing thus far... your confidence may be misplaced."

"I trust you."

"Why?" she asked, suddenly curious.

"Because... I do." Ilene shrugged again. "I just do."

"Oh." Adith considered this for a moment. She had given Ilene very little reason to trust her: she had fallen into a reverie during her shift, and even now was flaunting reason to sit with her and talk. The fact that the other woman 'just' trusted her was less than reassuring. "I hope to give m'lady no reason to regret her sentiment."

 

"Trust is a funny thing," Cale said, putting down his cup to reach for another piece of bread, liberated from the still bustling great hall. Adith's room was dark and quiet, and a little cooler than was comfortable, although she was remedying this at present, standing over the fire and prodding it into life. Cale leant back in his seat, staring thoughtfully at the ceiling as he pulled a rough chunk out of his bread and brought it to his mouth. "It's a funny thing," he said again, through his food, then swallowed and went on. "We talk about earning trust, about gaining trust, as though it is something one can purchase. But in truth, it's only ever given freely."

"Though what do our masters try to buy, if not trust? Or perhaps our loyalty," Adith mused, watching the tiny dancing flames licking at the logs in the hearth. "In which they can place their trust. But if that is all they can count on, what is to stop us from losing their trust when a higher bidder comes along?"

"I suppose that is why there are few people anyone can really trust," Cale said with a shrug, clearly not having expected such a considered response.

"Perhaps just those for whom money does not enter the picture. FamiIy. Friends. Where it is love that buys trust, not coin."

"Which would, I suppose, explain the propensity of our lords to place family members in positions of power wherever possible," Cale commented with a smirk.

"I think 'love' has little to do with it, in most cases." Adith snorted and rolled her eyes, giving the logs on the hearth one last poke before retreating to sit at the end of her bed. "Still, if Ilene trusts me then perhaps she will not seek to disobey my restrictions and it will be easier to keep her safe. I could do with a windfall like that."

"I suspect that may be wishful thinking on your part. But at least you may have the advantage of being able to appeal to her sense of fairness. I believe she's known to have one."

"Mm. She would probably argue that it is not 'fair' to restrict her freedoms based on the supposed movements of someone else," she replied wryly. "As she's also known for making one's life difficult."

"That she is. You know I was assigned to her staff once, briefly?"

"You were?"

"Mhm." Cale grinned and rolled his eyes. "Didn't last - although more due to her housekeeper out at [whatever it's called] disliking me than anything else."

"Well, I am sure it was nothing personal on Ilene's part. As a matter of fact, she told me herself that she finds you quite handsome." Adith smirked a little as she said this, despite the fact that she found it less amusing and more annoying than anything else. "So she has definitely taken notice of you here."

"Handsome, eh?" Cale grinned, straightening a little in his chair. "The lady of the keep finds me handsome..."

"Mm. Perhaps I should take you off her detail... I wouldn't want either of you too distracted."

Cale chuckled. "Well, it seems you're taking on the bulk of that task in any case. I'm surprised you've allowed anyone else to be on guard. Who's upstairs right now?"

"Waldron - he's to take over during the evening meal henceforth."

"He's a good man." Cale smirked, and pulled another rough chunk from his loaf of bread. "Not so handsome as me, of course. But then, perhaps that's for the best..."

Adith made a face and threw the nearest thing she could reach at him, which turned out to be one of her leather bracers from beside the bed. He dodged neatly, laughing, and stood. "I'd better get back to the guardhouse or there'll be talk," he said with a wink.

"Go on, then. And watch what you say about Lady Ilene - she's still not supposed to be here, for all that that charade still lives."

"I know when to keep my mouth shut." Cale grinned and retrieved Adith's bracers, tossing them to her before making for the door.

Once it had closed behind him, Adith settled back on the bed, looking down at the bracers in her hands. She wasn't sure why Ilene's earlier statement had rattled her so, only that the words still stuck with her, running through her head as she tried in vain to ignore them.

 

Adith jerked awake, hearing the end of her own cry of pain echoing in the room around her as she did so. She didn't remember the dream, but she could feel the familiar trickle of tears on her cheeks. Had she woken herself? Lying back down in the dark, all seemed for the moment to be silent, and she began to think she must have. Though it had taken her some nights to get used to the silence of the East Tower after the constant buslte of the guard rooms, she had in the past ten days become used to it.

Then she heard the sound - not quite a scrabbling, but certainly the sound of something larger than the average bird on the outside wall of the tower, right by her window.

She sat up quickly once again, her hand seeking the sword that was always within arm's reach, even when she was asleep. Slipping out from under her blankets she moved quickly towards the door, ignoring the cold stone on her bare feet. After pushing open the door she waited for a moment, straining to pick up any suspicious sounds, but save for the noise outside her window there was nothing.

Adith climbed the stairs quietly, sword at the ready. Chances were nothing was amiss; though she couldn't explain the sounds outside her room, it was unlikely to be invaders or kidnappers. Still, her job was to ensure the lady's safety at all times, and she meant to check, just in case the unlikely had happened.

The guard - Cale tonight - gave her a nod as she approach, raising his eyebrows as he took in her nighttime attire and edgy demeanor. "I've heard nothing," he said, but nontheless drew his own sword and moved to open the door. It swung open easily, revealing a darkened, quiet room. The fire burned low in the hearth, though it was colder than it should have been. The reason for this was soon revealed as Adith spotted the wide-open window across the room, and hurried to close it. As she reached the window, however, there was a movement in her periphery, and looking down she saw the figure that was a good three quarters of the way down the tower, descending steadily down its pitted surface.

"Damn!" Immediately Adith whirled, charging back across the room towards the door. "Stay here!" she barked at Cale angrily, feet slapping the floor as she left the room.

 

Adith exited the front gate, leaving through one of the guards' side exits. She hadn't alerted anyone else to the situation, hoping that it would be quickly and quietly resolved, and as such was also on foot, her boots crunching on the frozen ground as she broke into a jog.

Ilene was still in sight, her dark form making its way up the gentle hillside to the south at a walking pace. If she knew she was being followed she gave no sign to that effect.

Frowning deeply, Adith continued her pursuit, soon gaining ground on the other woman, who continued her steady pace up the hill. "My lady!" Adith shouted when she was near enough to be heard. "Please halt!" Ilene stopped briefly, standing still for a moment. She didn't turn around. Then she seemed to come to a decision, and kept walking.

The guard made a sound of annoyance under her breath as she jogged on, eventually coming alongside Ilene ad matching steps with the dark-haired woman. "My lady," she said through gritted teeth, "I must ask you to return with me to the keep immediately. It is not safe for you out here."

"Tarn," Ilene said, and though she didn't look over at Adith, her face hidden in the hood of her cloak, Adith could hear the smile in it. "How nice of you to join me for a nighttime walk."

"I am not here for a stroll, Lady Ilene. I am here to take you back to the keep."

Finally Ilene stopped walking, and turned to look at Adith. Though it was the middle of the night it was quite clear, and the moon bounced off the frosted covered ground, meaning that the guard could see quite clearly the other young woman's lively eyes and flushed cheeks. She looked, somehow, more herself than Adith had ever seen her in the East Tower - and she had already been a not insignificant presence there. Such it was that there seemed a new level of intensity and gravitas to her voice as she enquired:

"Why?"

Adith sighed. "Because it is unsafe for you here. We are unprotected and exposed, with only my sword for defense, and should something happen to you no one knows where we are, so no help would be forthcoming."

"Well, that seems like a good reason, until you consider that, had anyone dangerous witnessed my escape, I should surely have been abducted long before you reached me, or, if I was to be followed and taken, your presence would seem to have been a successful deterrent. Are you are you not my personal bodyguard?"

"Of course, m'lady, but--"

"Then surely at this point you can see that little extra harm can come of me finishing my climb here with you are my side and sitting a while at the top, gaining some fresh air and exercise, rather than going back immediately?"

"That is not the case at all, m'lady: gaining the summit would expose you even further and invite danger upon us."

"But since, as we already established, if I was to be kidnapped I would have been already and we are clear that no one wants me dead, the important thing is that you stay off the summit, not me. Besides, we will be able to see for miles around; there's little cover on this side of the glen.

"All the more reason you should not go there," Adith grumbled, though she made no move to stop Ilene as they both continued up the slope. Ilene didn't speak again, seemingly contented to walk in silence now that she had got her way.

As they neared the top of the hill Adith was on alert; despite Ilene's logic she did not trust that there was no danger afoot. She kept one hand on her sword, glancing about, though there was no way anyone could have hidden in the sparse scrub bush and gently-waving grasses that covered the hill.

Ilene picked up her pace slightly, and reached the summit just before Adith did, turning to look back towards the keep, pulling her cloak tighter around herself against the wind that whipped around them on the exposed ridge of the glen. Adith's heart skipped a beat, and she couldn't tell if it was from fear that something might happen to the other woman - though the idea of brigands stalking her at night, here, was laughable - or because she was struck by the picture she made silhouetted against the moonlight, a few strands of her long, dark hair escaping from the hood.

After a long moment, Ilene sat down, settling on one of the smooth rocks that littered the ridge. She left space beside her, and looked up at Adith expectantly, though she said nothing. The guard glanced around expectantly but saw nothing, and resignedly sat down next to the noblewoman, adjusting her scabbard into a comfortable position on her hip as she did so.

"Do you ever come walking out here? For recreation, I mean, not patrols or drills." Ilene spoke more softly now, her usual definite tones somewhat muted.

"I do not have much time for recreation," Adith said honestly, resting her hands on her knees and crossing her feet at the ankles. "What little I do I usually spend in town, or on horse."

"I love to ride," Ilene said then, turning to smile at Adith. "Perhaps next time you could bring out horses and we could ride town to the shore. There's a quiet cove on the far side of the town that's beautiful at night, and well hidden - you know it? Of course you do..."

Ilene's smile was so bright and earnest that Adith felt a monster for what she said next. "M'lady, there will be no 'next time'. This cannot happen again."

The lady looked away quickly. There was a long silence. When Ilene spoke again her voice was still quiet, but had grown icy cold. "Do you plan to bar my windows?"

"I would hope it would not come to that - but if I must I will do what is necessary to ensure your safety."

"You think this is the first night I've been out?" Ilene stood now, and Adith's whole side felt cold. "Did you really never realise why I could not wake in the mornings? You never thought to wonder?" She gave a short, callous laugh. "Some guard. I have climbed past your window near every night. I've h-..." She cut herself off, seemingly thinking better of whatever she was going to say. Instead she settled with a repetition - "Some guard."

Adith's cheeks were burning, though whether it was with anger or embarrassment she would be hard-pressed to say. Standing as well, she faced the other woman, though she was displeased to find that she was standing further down the slope and thus appeared shorter than Ilene. "Obviously I have failed in my duties," she said in a low voice. "But I shall not let these mistakes continue. I had hoped we had reached an agreement, Lady Ilene - you know it brings me no joy to restrict your freedoms."

"And I thought that I had made it clear that I would prefer to be dead than caged - here or in Melith's keep, what difference does it make?" Ilene tipped her chin defiantly once more. "I carry a sword too, Tarn. I'm not some defenceless maiden for your to protect. Stop trying to control me. Help me. Honestly, how much danger do you feel we're in out here?"

"Danger can come out of nowhere!" Adith replied, her voice growing louder and rougher. "Thinking you're safe is probably the stupidest thing anyone could do - no one is safe! And just because you carry a sword doesn't mean you're protected. People with swords die all the time." She felt tears prick her eyes and turned away sharply, swallowing past the lump in her throat.

"So what if I do?" Ilene stepped a little closer now, her voice feeling almost as though it was right at Adith's ear. "It happens. You can't protect me from everything - any one of those nights someone could have climbed into my room and been waiting for me as I returned - I knew that, and I took precautions. I kept my ears and my eyes open, I search my chamber each night as I return. No, it's not as safe as if I stayed in my bed, windows shuttered tight, but that's a compromise I'm willing to make to avoid being caged, stuck in there all day, every day, unable to leave the walls of the keep. I cannot do that - don't you see?"

"I trusted you to obey my precautions," Adith said, refusing to look at the other woman. "Am I supposed to believe that if I bend now you will listen to any of my wishes? You will only push me further, until I might as well stay in my room for all the use I will be."

"I'm not an idiot, Tarn. But nor am I a dullard. I will not remain in my room all the hours of the day. Bar my windows, post another guard at the door, I will still find a way - you know that I will."

"If m'lady has made up her mind I will inform Lord Garas that changes must be made to the security detail. The current roster is insufficient if you will be leaving the keep regularly."

"No. Tarn, please..." Adith felt a hand on her arm. "Please, that's not what I want. All I want is to be able to escape from time to time - it doesn't even have to be every single night. I will take you with me. I don't want to be surrounded by guards, sitting in some box with wheels, I want to be up here, alone, or down by the sea on the back of a horse. You must understand."

Adith had never received direct orders to keep Ilene in the keep at all times. She was only tasked with keeping her safe; a task she couldn't very well fulfill if the other woman was sneaking off at night without her. She still felt shamed that she had managed to escape detection for who knew how many nights before she had caught on. Still, if she had set her mind to it, nothing Adith could say or do would deter her. She knew that much.

"M'lady is used to getting her way," she said gruffly then. "I suppose this is no different."

"Oh for the sake of all that's- That's not what this is about."

Turning to face Ilene now, Adith raised an eyebrow. "I did not say m'lady needed to justify herself. It seems I have little enough choice in the matter as it is."

Ilene looked almost hurt, though she offered no rebounder. Her shoulders slumped slightly, her defiant pose leaving her with an exhalation, and she turned to make her way down the glen, walking carefully to avoid any loose scree in the dark.

It seemed that this was the best way to convince Adith to give in, as she immediately felt a clenching in her stomach at the other woman's defeated posture. "M'lady," she said, taking several long strides after her. "Please, wait." Ilene continued downward, and for a moment Adith thought she was being ignored, but as soon as she had a solid footing on a slightly gentler patch of the slope the other young woman stopped and turned, looking up at the guard as she waited for her to catch up.

"I do not want to be a cause of your personal unhappiness," she said, frowning as she approached. "I recognize that this is a difficult situation you find yourself in. Perhaps... some compromise can be reached."

Ilene was frowning, the furrow between her dark, shapely brows pronounced as she looked up Adith, her hood still pushed back a little from her face. "I'm not spoiled," she said quietly. "I don't want you to think that."

"I do not."

"I tried to stay in my room," she said, her tone intense, almost pleading now. "I did. But after those first few days I began to feel as though part of me was just... withering away. I need to be out here, in the open. Do you see?"

Adith glanced around them, taking in the rolling, shadowed expanse of land stretching out on either side. In the distance the dark shape of the town squatted, but the rest was merely trees and hills, open and free. "Yes," she said honestly, though she couldn't help but frown a little. "I understand, m'lady."

"Do you understand that it wouldn't be the same surrounded by armed men on horses?"

"It would be safer."

"I could not feel any safer with them than I do with you."

"I could," Adith insisted, though she was flattered all the same.

"A guard is only as strong as its weakest member."

"Are you implying I am the weakest member?" It was hard to tell in the darkness if Adith was joking or not. She wasn't even sure herself.

"Quite the contrary. I think I'm safer with just you."

"You have never seen me fight."

Ilene shook her head, finally smiling again, just slightly. "I don't think I need to. I trust my father's judgment."

Deciding not to press the subject any further, Adith merely raised an eyebrow momentarily before she spoke again. "Two nights a week."

"Done," Ilene said immediately, a little surprisingly. Her smile widened a little.

The guard was somewhat suspicious, and vowed to post an additional guard on the wall outside Ilene's chamber for the next few days, just to ensure the other woman wasn't leaving the tower without her. "Very well. Now can we please return to the keep? Dawn approaches and I would have you safely inside before the sun rises."

"Of course." Ilene fell into step beside Adith as they began their descent back into the bowl of the wide, open glen. The guard had to admit that when she wasn't acting horribly stubborn or entitled, the other woman was actually soothing company, as she didn't feel the need to fill silence with words. She had a quiet confidence about her, and if only she had been able forget that Ilene was Lord Garas's daughter she may have been able to keep from worrying. As they reached the bottom of the slope and began to make across the open flatland between them and the keep, Adith spotted Ilene's off-hand going to the pommel of her sword for reassurance at almost the exact time her own did. It seemed, then, that the young woman wasn't entirely oblivious to potential danger.

They reached the keep without incident; Adith led them in through the front gates, nodding to the young man on duty and giving him a look that clearly told him not to ask questions or spread gossip. They ascended the stairs silently, Adith escorting Ilene to her room and dismissing Cale from his post at the door.

"You won't be needing me?" he asked quietly as Ilene passed on into her room. His brow was furrowed in concern - he'd clearly been worrying himself considerably. "Are you taking over here? Shouldn't you go and have another few hours' sleep?"

"I wouldn't sleep," Adith said truthfully with a shake of her head. "Go on, I'll be fine here."

Cale cast a glance at the room beyond the ajar door. "Are... Is she all right?" he asked, the question clearly not really intended to be about Ilene.

"She is safe. We seem to have reached an agreement; she will not be running off during the night any longer."

"Really?" The 'really' at once expressed surprise and doubt. "I didn't know she was running off at all; she must be quiet as a cat - how do you propose to stop her?"

"I have my ways," Adith said enigmatically. "Now off with you - unless you don't want the extra sleep..."

Still looking doubtful, Cale nonetheless made his exit. As his footsteps echoed off down the stairs, there came a quiet call from Ilene's chamber.

"Tarn?"

"Yes, m'lady?" Adith asked, turning as she spoke. Ilene was leaning in the still open doorway of her room, hair still touseled from the breeze outside, cheeks still pink, eyes the bluest Adith had seen them, even in the dim light of the hallway.

"I wanted to thank you." She was clearly doing her best to look contrite and sincere, though her demeanor of serenity and contentment could not be dispelled for all her good intentions.

"Your cooperation from here on would be thanks enough," the guard said, folding her arms. The other woman didn't seem to be happy with this answer, though, and she leaned forward, reaching out with her hand to place it on Adith's arm, tugging gently as though pulling apart her defensive stance.

"Please don't be like that. I know that I put you out of your ease. It's not what I wanted. Thank you for giving some ground for me. I mean it."

Despite having just come from the cold Ilene's hand was warm, and Adith could feel the warmth through the fabric of her shirt. She tried to ignore the sensation, giving the other woman a polite nod as she rearranged her arms at her sides. "You are welcome. I hope it will make your existence here easier to bear."

"It will."

 

It did. The following few weeks went considerably more smoothly than the time preceding it. Ilene still quizzed Adith every evening on her briefings from Garas, but beyond that she was compliant and well-behaved. Though Adith lay awake for nights after that first walk, listening for sounds on the wall outside, she heard none, and Ilene never spoke of it again until the next week, when her request that they take a stroll that night was almost meek. They went up the glen once more, and then nothing again for another four days, and then another gentle request, this time for the previously mentioned shoreline ride.

Adith was reluctant to comply; nighttime walks were one thing, but getting two horses from the stables in the dead of night without causing someone to talk would be difficult. Still, she wanted to keep her end of the bargain - partially to keep Ilene holding up her end, and partially because she wanted to please her. Of course, it was mainly the former.

So it was she found herself saddling first her horse, then a lean gray gelding by lanternlight, having checked first that the stableboy was away in the guards' quarters, having been drawn there by promise of dice and drink.

The beach had been deserted, the sands silver under the still-clear night sky, the only sound the waves and their horses' hooves. Ilene was, perhaps unsurprisingly, an excellent horsewoman, and the pair barely spoke at all, in contrast to their walk up the glen, the lady content to drink in the atmosphere rather than make conversation.

Their rides became part of the ritual - one night of the week they would walk out across the glen or down along the valley floor, following the River Brey down towards the sea, and the other, they would take their horses out, usually to the shore.

It seemed only logical to start bringing along a few necessities - a blanket to sit on when they reached their destination, some food to share, and occasionally a flask of hot drink, when the nights were cold. Adith found herself looking forward to their outings, planning her days so that she would be well-rested enough to keep up with whatever pace Ilene set.

Even her nightmares were growing a little less frequent, though there were still nights when she woke up crying. All seemed well, but for the ever-present figure of Dil, who always seemed to be around the next corner. One afternoon, as Adith made her way up towards the East Tower, he once more cornered her in the corridor.

"I note you've taken to the occasional pre-dawn jaunt, hm?"

Adith frowned deeply for a moment before composing herself and meeting Dil's watchful eyees. "What I do with my time is no concern of yours, Merik."

"Ah, but it's not your time, is it? Surely time you spend guarding the lady Ilene belongs to our lord Garas?" Dil raised an eyebrow, leaning a little closer as he always did when he wanted to make Adith particularly uncomfortable. His breath was sour. "Does the lord know about your nighttime activities?"

"Lady Ilene is perfectly safe. Lord Garas instructed me to see to that and I am."

"I'm not sure that he meant you should take her for romantic rides on the beach."

The guard bit back her initial sharp response, taking a deep breath to calm herself before trying again. "Lord Garas cares for his daughter greatly and wants to see her happy as well as safe. I am ensuring her happiness by allowing her excursions when it is safest for all involved. She is never without a guard, and going out at night means fewer prying eyes know of her movements."

"That's how he saw it when you informed him of the situation, then?" Merik's lip curled a little into a half-smirk.

"Perhaps you would know if you were called to our meetings - but you're not. So clearly our lord doesn't think that's information you need to have," Adith said icily.

Dil's raised eyebrows suggested that he wasn't buying this, but he nonetheless leaned back away from Adith, removing himself from her personal space. "I would suggest you brush your horses down better of a morning," he said then. "The stableboy was most confused to find sand caking the hooves of the gray the other morning - quite curious he was..."

"Your advice is, as always, appreciated," Adith ground out through gritted teeth. "Good day, Merik."

"I'll no doubt see you soon," he sneered. "Perhaps I'll accompany you on one of your nighttime excursions... or are those... private?"

"That would be on my lady's discretion. And from the way she speaks of you, I can't imagine you would be invited along."

"Oh?" Dil's raised eyebrow was this time one of - at least a good impression of - genial confusion. "Interesting. We never had any issues when we knew one another."

"My lady is very changeable. Perhaps she has heard something to affect her opinion of you," Adith said innocently.

"From you, no doubt."

"Surely of all the things you could accuse me of, Merik, gossip is the furthest from the truth."

"Perhaps." Dil narrowed his eyes. Eventually he stepped back to let her pass without further comment. Adith moved past him purposefully, fighting the urge to blush at the revelation that he knew about her nighttime excursions with Ilene. Obviously if anyone was to know about them, it would be the assassin charged with ensuring the keep's security, but it still made her skin crawl to know he had been watching them.

 

She heard Ilene before she saw her today. Even through the closed chamber door she could hear the light sound of a lyre floating along the corridor on her approach. The young noble was not a highly accomplished player - Adith had heard far better from court musicians - but her touch was light and able, the simple tune flowing easily and without stumbling.

The song brought a smile to Adith's face, and she paused outside the door for a moment just to listen. She had found Ilene a delight to work with since their new 'arrangement', and more and more often had to remind herself of her station and their relationship, lest she grow too comfortable and casual in their interactions. After a minute had passed she pushed open the door and stepped inside; another bending of the rules, as Ilene much preferred Adith to stand guard from within the chamber whenever possible.

Shooting her a look that carried as much fond concern as deference to it, Cale took his leave, and Adith heard his footsteps begin their descent down the stairs as the smooth, heavy door latch slipped into place behind her.

Ilene had opened the shutters, though not the windows, and was perched in one of the window alcoves, her heavy dressing gown wrapped around her over her simple tunic. Despite the cool air of the room her feet were bare, one on the floor and one dangling idly as she played, her heavy, many-stringed lyre resting against her shoulder. She was humming a little harmony to herself that Adith had been unable to hear from outside the room.

She had recognized the song, of course - having spent even more time than even Ilene herself around the keep and attending many grand feasts in the Great Hall, she had learned almost all the songs the traveling minstrels and bards played to entertain the nobles. This was an old folk song that Adith remembered from her younger years, and as it went on she found herself humming the melody as her thoughts drifted back to the first time she had heard it.

 

"How's your leg?"

The redhead folded neatly to the ground beside Adith where she sat, on the floor towards the back corner of the hall, her cloak beneath her, soft tapestries hanging at her back. Three nights had passed since their arrival back at the keep, four since the attack on the lord's envoy, and Adith had seen nothing of Garas's private guard since then, having been kept more than busy by Anth despite her injury.

Adith looked down at the limb, as she did reflexively whenever anybody asked after it, then up again at Natia. "It's healing well, thank you." She had received a wicked cut on her calf from a dying brigand; though it was deep it had thankfully only sliced along the muscle, and the healer had wrapped it tightly and pronounced her situation 'a lot better than the one who gave it to her'. She was confined to a hobble while the injury healed, and though it was sore and painful she felt lucky that that was the extent of her injuries. "I should be able to take the bandage off in a week or so."

"Well, take care of it," the older woman warned with a little smile. "I know you young guard and your heroics. No overstretching yourself, and no removing it early to prove you heal faster than most, eh?" She held out one of the mugs she held in each hand. "Mead?"

"Thank you." Adith found, as always, her nerves began to get the best of her when Natia was around, and she took a deep gulp of liquid to try and steady them. The hall was filled with people, some who had already imbibed more than their share of drink already, and the general atmosphere was one of joviality and cheer. One of the musicians had begin to play his lute and sing, his sweet voice carrying easily out over the hall.

Why should thy cheek be pale,
Shaded with sorrow's veil?
Why should'st thou grieve me?
I will never, never leave thee.
'Mid my deepest sadness,
'Mid my gayest gladness,
I am thine, believe me;
I will never, never leave thee.

Life's storms may rudely blow,
Laying hope and pleasure low:
I'd ne'er deceive thee;
I could never, never leave thee.
Ne'er till my cheek grow pale,
And my heart pulses fail,
And my last breath grieve thee.
Can I ever, ever leave thee!

Natia relaxed against the tapestry behind them with a contented sigh, lifting her own mug to her lips. Adith glanced towards her, tipping her head to one side as she let her gaze linger just a moment on the redhead's lips. She hadn't meant to stare, but found it hard to look away now that she had started. If Natia noticed this, she said nothing, only shooting Adith the occasional smile when their eyes met in passing as they sat in a companionable silence, listening to the music and watching the activities in the hall around them.

Eventually a small group of revellers grew up at one end of the hall, dancing and laughing along with the music. Cale, who had been looking over at Adith and Natia all evening, made his way over to them when a sprightly jig began to play. He looked as if he were about to ask Adith for a dance but remembered her injured leg and offered his hand to Natia at the last second instead.

Natia allowed herself to be pulled to her feet, nodding her leave to Adith as she slipped an arm through Cale's on their way to the floor. The music was lively, and they were soon pulled into a set dance with three other pairs, turning neatly on each other's arms as they followed the pattern of the dance.

Adith watched with envy; not that she particularly liked dancing, but somehow she wanted to tonight. She cursed her injured leg, shifting it experimentally only to be rewarded with a sharp pang radiating up her calf.

 

She felt it twinge now - strange, as the muscle itself had healed fully in the years since, and she realised as her attention turned to the chamber that the playing had stopped, and Ilene was surveying her with an expression of frank curiosity, head cocked a little to one side.

"My lady. I hope I did not interrupt," Adith said, straightening slightly. "The music was lovely."

Ilene smiled. "Thank you. You were listening? You looked a hundred miles away."

"I... Was momentarily distracted. My apologies."

"That's quite all right. Won't you sit down, Tarn?" Ilene gestured toward the seats by the fire, lifting the lyre from where it lay against her shoulder and setting it down on the floor before slipping off the sill.

Adith had little choice but to comply and did so, leaning down to rub absently at her leg. She hadn't meant to get so distracted by her memories and wondered how long Ilene had been watching her.

"Tell me about your morning," Ilene said as she sat, apparently oblivious to Adith's preoccupation.

"There is not much to tell. I slept some, then I ate. And now I am here. I'm afraid if you are seeking an exciting tale you would be better off asking me for fiction."

The brunette raised an eyebrow. "Are you good at spinning a story? Because I might enjoy that also..."

"Er..." Adith was momentarily flustered. "My skill has always been with a sword, m'lady..."

Ilene looked a little disappointed, but sighed and lay back in her chair, stretching her legs out in front of her, their slim line just hinted at by the loose, soft material of her tunic, which ended a little below her knees. "Very well. Did you enjoy last night?"

"Yes," Adith answered honestly. "The weather seems to be getting warmer; spring must be on its way." She felt a little embarrassed at her lame attempts at conversation, but the combination of Ilene's station above hers along with the feeling that she could slide all too easily into inappropriate familiarity made her reluctant to discuss anything but the most mundane topics.

"I thought it was very nice of you to acquire that ham. After our ride it was most welcome."

"I am sure the cooks would be most upset with me if they knew I was feeding you whatever I could scavenge from the kitchens," Adith said with a wry grin. "They like to save the very best for the nobles, not scraps from the guardroom."

"I like the scraps from the guardroom," Ilene said decisively. "It feels more... natural. It feels better than eating a meal and knowing that you're eating something different."

"You have a strange definition of better... Not one I have heard many nobles agree to. Or commoners, for that matter."

"At Norstead?" Ilene looked a little surprised. "I thought that the folk at Norstead were happy with their lot. Am I so removed from them as to completely mistake their contentment?"

"No, I did not mean that... People are quite content," Adith said, shaking her head. "Just that... They would not mistake their place."

"Are you saying I mistake mine because I enjoy breaking bread with you?" Ilene tipped her head a little to one side, her tone enquiring rather than accusatory.

Still, the guard knew she had to choose her words carefully. "It is easier for the highborn to pretend to be something they are not," she said, spreading her hands in front of her. "There are fewer repercussions, and no one would accuse them of dangerous delusions. But I think that you truly do not care about station, which means your choice is less mistaking of station and more... wilfully ignoring it." Though for what purpose Adith still didn't know.

"Or perhaps I hope to elevate you to mine," Ilene suggested, in a tone that said she was wondering herself.

"M'lady must enjoy impossible tasks."

"You don't think we could meet in the middle? At least in this room, or out on the glen, or down by the shore?"

"I think that what happens between two people in a glen or by the shore is not the same thing as what happens in front of others. Whatever status you hope to elevate me to when we are alone, it would not do to think it can remain the rest of the time." Though Adith was ostensibly telling this to Ilene she knew it was just as important to remember it herself.

"Then I supposed we shall have to have another secret between us," Ilene said, sitting forward and leaning her elbows onto her knees so that she had to look up a little at the woman across from her. "For I cannot think of you as a servant, or 'commoner'. Not here, and certainly not out there."

Adith pursed her lips, considering the other woman closely for a moment before smiling slightly. "As long as you do not expect me to embroider. Or sing."

"You don't sing? But everyone sings! All the guards certainly sing - you hear them in the guardhouse every night across the courtyard."

"Not all sing. Some only mouth the words."

"That's a shame."

 

"You don't sing?"

Adith glanced up; she had been looking longingly toward the exit to the Great Hall and hadn't heard anyone approach. Most of the remaining guards were deep in their cups and as a result, lustily singing a marching tune next to the fire. She hadn't moved to join them. "Not really, no."

Natia smiled kindly. "Don't like to, or don't rate your ability?"

"It's not so much how I rate it as how others would. I would not be a welcome addition."

The other woman smirked slightly. "I'm sure that's not true, but I won't patronise you by arguing when I have never heard you sing. Would you prefer, then, to take a walk in the courtyard? The night is warm."

"Very well." Carefully Adith stood, hobbling only a little as they made their way towards the exit. She was glad to leave; being unable to participate in any of the festivities had left her in a somewhat sour mood, and the drunken carousing of the others was wearing on her nerves.

"Lean on me if you need to," Natia said, moving a little closer into step with Adith as they exited and found themselves in the fresher air of the keep's large main courtyard.

Doing so, Adith couldn't help but notice the faint smell of leather and steel that clung to the other woman. Of course, most guards carried that aroma in some amount, but on Natia it mixed with her own fresh, warm scent to form a more alluring aroma. Adith felt slightly light-headed, leaning more heavily on her as a result.

 

"...and it turned out, of course, that he had a fine voice - he'd just never used it."

"I have certainly tried, m'lady. I am sure even by your generous standards it could not be called fine."

"Well, perhaps we shall see one day." Ilene settled back into her chair, her gaze trailing away from Adith to the glowing fireplace. She'd obviously lit it freshly that morning, but had allowed it to flag somewhat to prevent the room from becoming too stuffy.

 

"Did you enjoy your evening?" Adith asked Natia as they made their way slowly along the wall, underneath the brightly-burning lanterns. She hoped conversation would help distract her from the treacherous path of her current thoughts.

"Very much. I was sorry that you couldn't join in on the dancing, though, Or do you avoid dancing as well as singing?" Though her face was shadowed, her smile could be heard in her voice.

"I enjoy dancing - it is much like duelling."

The redhead nodded in approval at this. "I like that thought. We shall have to see if your dancing shows as much promise as your duelling at some later date - when your leg has healed."

Adith glanced up at the redhead almost shyly. "I am sure you would be as good a teacher there as before."

"I don't know about that - I stick to the rules more when I'm dancing."

"I'm sure your partners' toes thank you for it."

Natia only smiled in response to this. "So, no singing, but you like to dance. What else? Do you ride? Recreationally I mean - I know you ride well when required."

"I... Don't have much free time," Adith admitted. "I do enjoy riding, though. When I was younger, my father used to take me out, to the shore."

"Well, we must see if we can free up some time together at some point, then." It seemed that Natia had decided that they were to spend more time with one another.

"I would like that," the other woman said quickly.

Natia shot Adith a slightly curious look, as though she heard something odd in her tone. But she only smiled again. "I would too."

The blonde hoped her blush wasn't too apparent in the dim light. "Are you going back to the barracks as well?"

Natia shook her head. "Not tonight, I have, er, somewhere to be. But I'll see you safely there."

"Thank you."

Natia turned them towards the barracks, but as she did, Adith felt the thump of an impact, and was pulled down with the older woman as she fell, the axe hanging from Natia's stomach, ripping through the flesh but snagging on her leather armour. Natia was an almost unbearable weight in her arms, head rolling back, blood gurgling up in her mouth, black against her pale cheeks in the moonlight.

"No! Please..."

Natia coughed, more blood escaping her mouth, a hand reaching up to clutch at Adith's clothing.

"Adith..."

 

"Tarn! Adith!"

She started back to the present to the realization that Ilene was gripping both her shoulders, quite tightly. Adith gave a strangled gasp and wrapped her arms around herself, the smell of blood and smoke still strong in her nostrils.

Ilene knelt in front of her, then, hands moving from her shoulders to rest on her knees as she gazed up at her, eyes filled with concern. "You fell asleep, and then..."

"I was dreaming. It was just a dream." She concentrated on breathing deeply, the nausea in her stomach slowly fading as the memories quieted. "Please forgive me."

"Forgive you? There's nothing to forgive..." The dark-haired woman frowned, her expression still as serious as Adith had ever seen her. "You have bad dreams a lot, don't you?" she asked quietly.

"They are better than they once were..."

"I've heard you." It sounded almost like an admission of guilt.

"Oh." Adith blinked, then frowned. "I am sorry. I did not know the sound carried."

Ilene chewed her lower lip, brow furrowing anew as her expression turned a little pained. "It didn't, exactly. I was... ah... passing your window, once, and..."

"Ah, yes. Well, I am glad I didn't disturb your sleep." Adith gave a ghost of a smile.

"What do you dream about?" The question was innocent - Ilene could not have known the pang of almost physical pain it caused.

She sucked in a breath. "I lost a friend. Sometimes I dream about that."

"Recently?"

"It seems that way."

"I'm sorry." The long, slim fingers curled around Adith's knees tightened their grip a little.

Though Ilene was not the first person to know of or even witness her nightmares, Adith felt oddly exposed, as if the noblewoman had seen a part of her that was meant to be hidden. Straightening her back, she cleared her throat and spoke.

"I have shirked my duties and I apologize, my lady. I should not have fallen asleep during my watch."

Ilene shook her head. "We had a late night, and you did not sleep the morning away as I did."

"That is little excuse. I should be punished for my lack of attention."

"And who's to punish you?" The young noblewoman arched an eyebrow. "Me? Or do you intend to go and tell my father you fell asleep while sitting by the fire with me, discussing our nighttime ride?"

Adith opened her mouth, then shut it again. Ilene was right. She sighed and smoothed her hands over her thighs. "It will not happen again." Ilene's hands immediately slid up over hers, fingers curling around them. She didn't say anything.

The guard wasn't sure how long they sat there for, the embers of the fire glowing and shifting softly. Eventually she bit her lip, looking down at the other woman. "It is almost time for the evening meal, m'lady."

Ilene sighed quietly, though her expression was almost peaceful now. "Are you to be relieved, or will you eat with me this evening?"

"I am to stay, unless you wish me to leave."

"I want you to stay.

"Then I shall."

 

Ilene was uncharacteristically quiet. Usually she managed to talk - always politely, never while eating - all the way through her meal, and still finish it before Adith finished working her way meticulously through her own food (though perhaps the fact that Adith's meat was generally of a tougher sort played a part there). Tonight, however, she said not a word throughout, though her mind was clearly working furiously on something-or-other, her eyes moving always between her food, the window, the fire, Adith's face. It made the guard nervous - what was she thinking? Or worse yet, planning?

Still, whatever it was it didn't seem as though she was going to act on it tonight, as following their meal she returned to her seat by the fire, retrieving her small lute on the way and settling down with it lying across her lap, strumming it idly in no particular tune. Adith resumed her usual post inside the door, wary of sitting down next to the inviting hearth lest she fall asleep again. She would not repeat the embarrassing episode again; nor did she want to encourage Ilene to ask any more questions. It seemed, though, that the younger woman did not intend to, and the evening passed calmly, albeit more slowly than usual.

Eventually Ilene began to ready herself for sleep, though Adith knew it was her custom to bring a scroll or parchment to bed with her to pore over before she slept, and sure enough, Ilene moved over to the large table that dominated the middle of the room, beginning to sift through the papers there.

Adith watched her bend across the table, her long, dark hair unbound for sleep trailing across the gathered documents. She wasn't sure if she preferred the noblewoman like this, docile and relaxed, or as she was during their nighttime rides, invigorated and free.

"When are you due to be relieved tonight?" Ilene asked as she made her way towards the large darkwood bed that sat in the warmest corner of the room, its heavy drapes, as always, tied back out of the way that she might have fresh air about her face.

"I will be relieved at midnight," Adith replied. "Hobb will be at the door until morning."

"Not too long, then. That's good."

"Mm." Adith planned to make her way down to the guardroom when her shift was over; she hadn't seen many of her friends since her assignment had started and hoped a few would still be awake that night.

The other woman pulled back the heavy blankets on her bed and slipped between them, once more settling back into soft cushions, and unrolling her parchment.

"May I ask what you are reading tonight, m'lady?"

Ilene glanced up, looking almost guilty as she admitted, "It's a guide to herbs and roots that aid peaceful sleep, actually."

"Oh." Adith didn't know whether to be embarrassed or touched. She settled for a slight, shy smile. "I see."

 

"You smile a lot more in your sleep than when you're awake."

Adith opened her eyes to find a freckled face looking fondly down at her. "Anth says smiling on duty makes people think you're having a good time."

"And we wouldn't want that." Natia smiled now herself - though smiles came easily to her in any case. A moment later a thought seemed to strike her, and her expression became more serious. "Adith, I know this changes everything, but you know that we can't..."

"No, of course." Adith was loathe to disperse the warm, comfortable haze she found herself in, but dutifully struggled into a sitting position, reaching for the tunic by the side of the low bed. It was fortunate that as a member of the Lord's personal guard Natia had her own small room off the main barracks.

The other woman rolled over onto her back, turning her head to watch as Adith dressed. A horn sounded somewhere, only barely registering on her consciousness. "I was... considering leaving," she said quietly, then. "It's been almost three years since the treaty; the keep is over-guarded."

It was true that with Nidun cooperating and peace in the South becoming more of a reality with every passing season, the Norstead guard were finding it increasingly hard to occupy themselves. The new intake that year had been small, keen young men and women turned away from training as they simply weren't needed.

"Perhaps if I moved to the town, set myself up as a trader..."

"You want to leave the keep?" This surprised the younger guard; she paused in putting on her boots and looked over at the redhead. "Why?"

Natia sat up with a sigh, shooting Adith a wry smile. "For the most part, to avoid this happening. Or at least simplify it." She swung her own legs off the narrow bunk and reached for her leggings. "Best look sharp, I think I heard the horn a moment ago. I imagine it's an impromptu training exercise. Early for it - can't be near dawn yet."

"Should I go first, or..."

"I doubt anyone will notice, this once. After all, who would think of this?" Natia, clearly used to dressing at speed, was already buckling her leather armour in place when the loud banging came at the door, and a moment later Cale burst in, his face already covered in blood, the sword in his hand dripping.

"They're here."

"No, no, no, not yet, this isn't what happened..."

Natia continued buckling her armour, oblivious to Adith's words, grabbing her sword and heading straight out through the door that led not into the corridor alongside the guardroom but out into the courtyard, where the battle was already in full swing. Cale followed her, the door slamming behind them, leaving Adith half-dressed, still sitting on the bed in the empty room that was suddenly plunged back into silence.

 

One of the reasons Adith most enjoyed her midnight rides with Ilene was that it meant she was not alone at night. She glanced over at the other woman, shooting her a wicked grin before urging her mount into a fast canter.

"You'll run out of shoreline!" Ilene called with a delighted laugh, catching up easily and keeping the new pace that Adith set. They kept their mounts neck and neck until the sand became less hard-packed, then slowed to a walk, still side by side.

"Did the herbs help?" The question came somewhat out of the blue, although it had been hanging between them most of the night.

"They... did for a time," the guard replied, raising her voice slightly to be heard over the sound of the waves.

Ilene shot her a curious look, and for a moment it seemed she was not going to enquire further. Then she thought better of it, and asked, "How so?"

"My sleep was not dreamless, but some were pleasant."

"About your friend?" Ilene's voice was entirely innocent, though her eyes narrowed, just slightly.

"Yes, mostly."

The other woman continued to look sidelong at her, her expression a mixture of appraisal, and something that looked remarkably like guilt. All night, Ilene's words had been hesitant - every so often she looked like she might say something, and didn't. Perhaps it was just her curiosity about Adith's sleeping habits - so Adith had first assumed. But it began to look like it was more than that.

Adith refrained from saying anything until they had reached their destination - a spit of land jutting out into the low tide of the sea - and dismounted, hobbling their horses and continuing out on foot. Eventually, though, she could wait no longer, and cleared her throat. "Is there something on your mind, m'lady? You have seemed preoccupied these last few hours."

"Mm." Ilene pulled her cloak tight around herself against the cool wind coming off the water. "After the other night, when we talked... I spoke to Cale about you."

"You... ah. I see."

"You friend was Natia Dey?"

"Yes," Adith said, a little woodenly. "That was her name."

"I knew her. I mean-" Ilene said quickly as Adith looked up sharply, "not well, not to talk to. But she was always by my father's side, of course, so..."

"I see," the guard said again with a cursory nod. "She was an excellent guard."

"I'm sure. Father was devastated when she died."

"I know." In one of the strangest turns of events Adith could remember, she had been moved up to Lord Garas's personal guard the night he 'paid tribute' to the passing of his bodyguard, and had eventually ended up drinking with him until nearly dawn. It had been a quiet but intense night, and it was there that his affection and regard for her started.

 

"She spoke highly of you, you know. Said you were the best swordswoman - or man for that matter - that she'd seen come up through the ranks in as many years."

"She still beat me every time," came the slightly unsteady but still carefully enunciated response. "Always had another trick to teach me."

"Ah, well, that's different, though. That will come in time."

Adith raised her head from the contemplation of the goblet in front of her, squinting slightly as she tried to make out the man's face in the dying light of the fire. "I've got that now. But no teacher."

"I'm sure you learned well enough in the time you had," Garas said. HIs tone was as empty as his words. He had nothing of comfort to give. Adith nodded grimly and drank again; it wasn't a solution to the emotions running rampant through her right now, but it seemed a good enough answer for the time being. She had never seen the lord like this before - he was never a particularly ebullient man, but this moroseness was shocking. Not that she blamed him for it. She felt as if she might never smile again.

She had seen him to his bed, near-unconscious, just before the dawn, and found her own way back to the barracks in a hazy, slightly controlled stumble. Cale had been waiting for her, and had found her a quiet space to sleep. It was the first night since Natia's death that she had a dreamless sleep, though her drunkenness had made for little worthwhile rest, and she had not resorted to it since.

 

Adith glanced sideways at the other woman, wondering what else she was refraining from saying. She had no desire to prompt a rebuke or judgment, though, and kept silent, waiting for what she might or might not add to the thus-far stilted conversation.

"I'm sorry," Ilene said eventually. "I had not meant to pry."

"I am not ashamed of anything," Adith said, more defensively than she had intended. "That Natia and I were friends is no secret. She had many friends."

"That's not what I..." Ilene trailed off, her brow furrowing thoughtfully again, and she looked at Adith with new curiosity.

"I brought some food and drink," the guard said, reaching into the pack she had slung over her shoulder. "Would you like some now?"

"Thank you, yes." Ilene glanced around for somewhere for them to sit. They eventually found a large rock, and Adith unpacked the small meal she had brought, handing over the canteen to Ilene as she did so.

"More finest guardroom ham?" the young woman smiled tentatively.

"Chicken. There was no ham."

"Chicken sounds wonderful."

They ate in silence; the only sound was that of the waves washing over the sand and the occasional cry of a gull in the distance. Adith wasn't particularly hungry, but needed to fill the time somehow, and certainly didn't want to talk any further. Ilene didn't seem keen to talk either, but she did eat her chicken and bread with all the enthusiasm that Adith lacked.

Eventually they finished and sat staring out over the water, neither woman daring to look over at the other. The sky began to lighten slightly, the horizon a pale blue strip over the ocean. Adith, normally so aware of the time passing, didn't even think to move until she saw the first rays of the watery sun begin to bead where the sea and sky met. Then she felt Ilene shift slightly where she sat, and a moment later the younger woman was leaning over to rest her head on her shoulder.

Adith gave a small start, as much at the small shiver that ran through her as the surprise at the action. Her thoughts had been miles away, but suddenly they were centered once again on the here and now with the weight of Ilene's head on her shoulder and the warmth of her against her side.

"I wish we could just stay out here," Ilene murmured quietly, turning her head a little so that her face was slightly sheltered against Adith's shoulder.

"There would be quite a panic back at the keep," the guard replied in an equally hushed tone. She felt Ilene's hand slide up her arm, wrapping around it, fingers exploring its contours beneath the thick material of her tunic and jerkin.

"Let's run away," the noblewoman whispered. She followed the suggestion with a quiet chuckle, though it was more wry than amused.

"I thought that's what we were doing these nights." Adith leaned closer in spite of herself, catching the scent of fresh herbs and parchment that lingered on Ilene's skin.

"Mm, but they never last long enough. We have to lock ourselves back up all over again." Ilene's other hand was on Adith's arm now, too, fingers dragging lightly, idly across the rough fabric of her cloak, layers of clothes between them and yet somehow the guard suddenly felt stripped of her armor and defenses against the warmth and tenacity of the other woman's fingers. "Don't you ever just want to run away, to go somewhere else where you could be who you are instead of what people want for you?" The question ought to have sounded immature - naive, but it was injected not with childlike frustration but a resignation and clarity that Adith had never heard from Ilene before, and she realised that for all her escapism and stubbornness Garas's daughter really did understand where she stood in the world, and what it meant.

"I think you would find few people want otherwise," Adith replied, her voice sounding somewhat thick and husky to her own ears. "At one point or another we all long to escape."

"And yet if I hadn't been trapped here I would never have met you."

"I would have thought you would be happy to trade away my acquaintance for your freedom," the guard said, sounding surprised. "It seems a very small price to pay."

"You think so?" Ilene's tone was a little strange - almost hurt, as though Adith's surprise said something about her own feelings on the topic. "I suppose you think I go for nighttime rides with all my private guardsmen?" The younger woman's voice sounded distinctly brittle now, though if anything her proximity had increased, their thighs touching, and Adith knew without looking that she had lifted her head, her voice now unmuffled, breath warm against her neck.

"No, m'lady, it is only... I know how you value your freedom. I cannot presume to think that I have made up for the fact that it is denied to you, though I have tried in my way. But I am just a guard, and cannot offer stimulating conversation or song or merriment to help the time pass more quickly."

"I don't want you to be someone you're not, Adith. But if you think I gain nothing from this - from you - you're very wrong."

"I am flattered, my lady." Adith fell silent; where had this come from? She could not deny that Ilene's words warmed her and indeed cheered her from her melancholy mood, but she had not thought she rated so highly in the noblewoman's opinion. Cale was the 'handsome' one; Adith knew Hobb occasionally played at dice with Ilene late at night, and she had heard more than once the sound of singing coming from within the chamber when she came to relieve Jerl of his shift. What did she provide to Ilene that was any different than any of the other guards? Indulgence? A taste of fresh air? Was that what she meant?

Whatever it was, it seemed that Ilene was not going to elucidate any further then. She sat, arm still looped through Adith's, head resting against her, for a few minutes longer before standing and taking a few steps toward the shoreline, once more pulling her cloak tightly around herself.

"I suppose we should be getting back."

Adith found it almost impossible to convince herself to stand, but she dutifully did so, gathering up the pack with the scraps of food tucked inside. "Very well."

"Tarn... Adith. Do you like me?"

"Excuse me, m'lady?"

Ilene turned, and stepped back towards Adith, close enough that she could raise her hands to rest them over Adith's where they clutched the back of food. Her pale eyes were reflecting the dawn light and the pale yellow mixed with her clear blue made them almost cat-like. "It's a simple enough question."

"I... yes," the other woman stammered, momentarily thrown by the contact and the eerie appearance of Ilene's eyes. "Of course I do. My lady."

"Because I'm Ilene, or because I'm the Lady Ilene?"

"I don't understand."

The young woman's brow furrowed, as though she was trying to convey something that, even for her own sharp mind, was proving a little complicated. "I mean that... sometimes I feel as though we are friends. And then I wonder whether it's just part of your duties."

"Being your friend is not my duty. My duty is to protect you," Adith explained, frowning slightly herself. "Anything beyond that... is not included in my tasks."

Ilene seemed to slump, just slightly, though it could have been that she had been holding her breath before. She let go of Adith's hands and took a small step backwards. "I see. I think I understand. I apologise."

Adith was confused by the other woman's reactions; hadn't she all but said that her only 'duty' was Ilene's protection, and that anything else between them - including this new sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach - was genuine? "There is no need to apologize, m'lady, for you have done nothing wrong," she murmured.

"I mistook my place," Ilene said with a shake of her head and a wry smile at her wording. "It won't happen again. Shall we get back to the keep before we're missed?"

"As you wish."

 

Over the next few days, Ilene seemed almost a different person. Where she had previously been prone to idle chatter, keen to have Adith's opinion on anything and everything, she was now almost reticent, making little in the way of conversation, and ceased even to enquire after the contents of Adith's meetings with Garas. The guard felt the abrupt change in formality deeply; when once her days had moved past at a fast clip, interspersed with interesting conversations and amusing interactions, now they seemed to crawl by. She felt as if she were guarding a stranger, and one who was not particularly keen on her presence. For all that she hated being pushed away, it was not her place to try and force a closer relationship when one obviously wasn't wanted. If Ilene had rejected her tentative offer of friendship, well, who could blame her? She was a noblewoman and Adith only a guard. It was how these things went.

The most confusing aspect of all this, however, was the way she would catch Ilene looking at her sometimes - whether at dinner, which they still ate together, or on the night they went back out across the glen, on foot on this occasion. Adith couldn't pretend to be an expert on reading other people, but the younger woman's expression seemed to carry to it a mix of sadness, frustration and curiosity that intrigued and worried her at the same time.

One day not long after Garas called her for their evening meeting to announce that Ilene's presence at the keep was no longer a secret - though not through any fault of Adith's own. As such, he had decided, it seemed only fair to break Ilene's enforced seclusion and allow her a bit more socialization.

Although meals were considered a dangerous time and consequently she still ate with Adith in her room, Ilene was now allowed to move more freely around the keep, her guard increased to three during this time, one of whom was Adith and the other, to her distaste, Dil, who stuck to the shadows rather than by her side but was nonetheless a constant, unpleasant blot in her peripheral vision.

Ilene had some friends among the other nobles at the keep, both male and female, and so she now spent the best part of her days in and out of their receiving rooms, chatting and taking part in their hobbies and activities, where she always seemed to excell whether in music, calligraphy, tapestry or whatever else. She seemed different to Adith during these times, however - her laugh a little more empty, her expressions less multi-faceted, her tone flatter. It was almost as though she were watching a painting of the woman rather than the woman herself. This was not the Ilene she had come to know - or had their privacy and intense association merely given her a false impression?

She was unsure what this new freedom meant for their nighttime expeditions. At first Adith had assumed they would continue as normal, but as the day when they were next to ride out approached she found herself wondering whether this was merely wishful thinking on her part. Resolving to make no assumptions, Adith did not leave her room that night, though sleep didn't come easily and she was only in a light, fitful doze when a tentative knock came at her door.

Adith was awake instantly and on her feet, crossing the room to open the door without a sound. A strange sense of relief flooded through her when she saw Ilene standing there, though the unsure expression on her face was somewhat worrying. "M'lady. Is something the matter?"

"No. Well. I don't know, is there?"

"I was not sure if you would still desire to leave the keep, now that your movements within it were less restricted," Adith explained.

"I see." Ilene's brow furrowed slightly, her mind clearly working, her expression a little like that of a child with complicated thoughts, unsure how to put them into words. Eventually she hazarded, "Would you rather not?"

"I would be happy to accompany m'lady outside. The night is quite mild, I am sure it will be a pleasant ride."

Ilene seemed to decide that this was good enough, and nodded. "I'll get my things then."

 

By the time they met down in the stables Adith had managed to work herself into a state of nervousness, worrying whether this would be another silent excursion during which the awkwardness and tension would only grow. she prayed it would not; she had not been sleeping well as of late and any further stress was an unwelcome addition at this point.

Ilene was indeed quiet when she arrived down at the stable block, her countenance almost shy. She had dressed quite lightly - the extra layers and padding that had been necessary during the colder weather were becoming less so by the day, and tonight she was wearing only a cloak over her thick, long sleeved tunic, her legs clad as usual in light leather leggings and sturdy riding boots. She had left her hair down, as was occasionally her wont, though she fussed with it slightly after mounting her horse as though she was already beginning to regret doing so.

They started away from the keep in silence; it was only when Ilene turned her horse's head towards the sea that Adith spoke. "I thought we might try somewhere new tonight, m'lady."

Ilene glanced over, looking not a little surprised, but willingly reined her horse in a little, nodding for Adith to take the lead. They headed up towards the hills behind the keep, the cleared meadowland giving way to a forest so thickly wooded Adith gave her horse its head in order to let him pick his way through. Ilene followed suit, looking around herself in interest as they weaved between trees, the bright moonlight filtering through the canopy in shafts of silver.

They rode for some time, Adith occasionally guiding her horse when she noticed familiar landmarks. She glanced over every so often at Ilene, trying to measure her mood by the expression on her face.

They were round the other side of the glen now, and Ilene seemed to be beginning to get her bearings again, and she caught up to ride side by side with Adith, still silent, still a little hesitant, clearly not yet sure where they stood with one another, but at least lacking some of that undercurrent of sadness that Adith had grown to find so heartwrenching.

Eventually it came time for them to dismount and continue on foot. They climbed a bit higher still before cutting through the thick undergrowth and emerging into a circular meadow clear of trees and scrub-brush. Instead it was carpeted with a short, soft layer of new-grown grass and the first spring crocuses of the year in shades of purple and yellow and white.

Ilene didn't have to ask to know that this was their destination. The serenity and beauty of the little clearing made that much obvious. She took a few steps across the grass tentatively, as though worried that just walking on it might disturb something of its perfection.

Adith watched her for a moment before stepping forward to take her arm gently. "I was afraid it might be too early for the flowers," she said leading the other woman forward towards the centre of the clearing. "I'm glad it is not."

Ilene, allowed herself to be guided without comment. "How did I not know this place existed?"

"Not many come here. It is less a secret and more an unknown."

"How did you find it?"

Adith knew this moment had been coming, yet still she hesitated. "Natia showed me. Her father had been a gamekeeper and brought her here when she was young."

Ilene turned to look at her then, her expression unreadable, silently bringing her hand up to cover Adith's where it still rested on her arm.

"My lady..."

"Adith?"

 

"Adith? Are you asleep?" Natia pushed up onto one elbow to look down at the younger woman, and without opening her eyes Adith knew from the shadow that blocked the sun's warm rays through her closed lids. "For someone so sharp of senses you can be such a dreamer."

"I'm not asleep, and I'm not dreaming." Without opening her eyes the younger woman stretched her hand out until it brushed Natia's arm. She smiled. "Well, perhaps a little."

Natia grinned. "Well, enjoy it while it lasts." Her expression was fond, although her tone was a little grim. "Did you hear that they're bringing everyone on duty tonight? Rumours of a band making their way North towards the keep." She chuckled, and rolled onto her front, warm against Adith's side, arm slung loosely across the other woman's middle. "And just as I begin to think of leaving service. Do you think the fates are angry with me?"

"I think the fates have better things to do than to toy with one individual over a change in career," Adith replied, turning her head to look over at the redhead now. "Besides, they're only rumors. Likely they won't amount to anything and we'll all have stayed up all night for nothing."

"It brings it home, though. How could I leave the service of my Lord Garas and leave you behind in the keep to sit on the front line, with me sitting in my little house in the town and hoping that you would live through the night?" Natia sighed, shifting slightly to press her lips to Adith's shoulder through the thin material of her shirt. "I don't know what I was thinking."

"You should do what you want," Adith protested. "You have done your service, and no one would begrudge you the choice to make a change." She pressed her hand to Natia's arm, feeling the shift of muscles under her fingers. "It does not make you a coward, if that is what worries you."

"I don't worry about that." Natia was silent for a moment in thought. "I suppose that while I was thinking how much easier it would be - for us, I mean - if I were not fighting by your side, I didn't really think about the fact that it would mean... not fighting by your side." She smiled weakly.

"I like the idea of you being safe. It will be one less thing to worry about, for both of us." Adith was happy not to think too much about this; she understood how hard it must be for Natia to walk away from being a guard, but was happy with the decision as it meant it would be easier for them to be together. She had had enough close calls and secrecy to long for something simpler. This would be it, even if it was an adjustment for them both. "And you will be there tonight. So stop fussing."

"Mm. We'll see, I suppose. How I wish we could just stay up here."

"The afternoon is early still. We don't have to leave for hours." Shifting, Adith wound her own arm around Natia's waist, nuzzling her neck and inhaling the scent of her sun-kissed skin.

"Well, then. We'd better make hay while the sun shines..."

 

"I... I... want to apologize for whatever offense I have given you," the guard stuttered, bringing her lip momentarily between her teeth and worrying it slightly. "It was not intentional, and I hope that you will forgive me for my ill behavior."

Ilene raised her eyebrows. This obviously wasn't quite what she'd expected. She shook her head. "You've never offended me. And please, don't talk about your 'behaviour', or forgiveness. You know that's not how I think of you."

"But that's just it, m'lady - I don't know how you think of me." Adith was in slightly over her head, but persisted. "I thought... perhaps you regarded me in a friendly way, but lately, due to my own inappropriate comportment, perhaps I have upset you, and changed that."

"You never upset me - at least, not in any way that changes my regard for you. I only..." Ilene had that hesitant look, again, and again Adith thought how very different she was from the shallow, giggling girl she seemed to be around her 'friends'. As though sensing Adith's thoughts, Ilene went on. "I am more myself around you than anyone else I know - perhaps anyone I've ever met. But I fear crossing a line that you cannot, reaching a point at which you can no longer compromise your duty. And that would upset me very much, yes." As though realising suddenly that their current stance, so close to one another, Adith's hand beneath hers on her arm, was in itself crossing some line, she dropped her own arms back down by her sides. "I do not want to see that happen, and I feel that I was close to making it so. It's I who should be apologising."

This thought had never occurred to Adith, and she looked suitably surprised as she processed it, her brow furrowed as she stared at the other woman thoughtfully. "So you would return us from whence we started and have us stay there from now on?"

"It is not as I would want it. But I fear that it's the best course of action available, yes."

"Oh." Adith suddenly felt silly for bringing Ilene there - she had meant it as a peace offering, to amend for the awkwardness between them and hopefully banish it, but now she found that it was in fact awkwardness which had been invited and cultivated intentionally. She felt her cheeks begin to burn, and turned away to face down the hill in the direction of the keep. "Very well, m'lady," she muttered then.

"I will understand if you would prefer I request for another guard to be put in charge of my care and protection," Ilene said, everything about her countenance suggesting the reluctance she felt.

"That is your decision - not mine."

The younger noblewoman's brow furrowed at this, her mounting frustration becoming more evident by the moment. She opened her mouth to speak, then seemed to think better of it. "Thank you for bringing me here," she said instead. Her tone suggested that gratitude was not her primary emotion.

"I wanted to give you something special," Adith said in a near-monotone. If she closed her eyes she could almost feel the sun on her skin, smell the summer scent of warm grass and soil. It was the last time she could remember feeling as if she were not alone, without a kindred spirit or somebody who understood her. Part of her ached so badly she wanted to crumple to the ground and cry. "I wanted to share this."

Adith didn't see the spark of hope that appeared in Ilene's eyes then, but she heard it in her voice. "Why?"

"Because... I don't know." The guard sighed heavily, shoulders slumping. "I thought perhaps it might help."

"Help with what?"

"Help fix whatever was wrong between us. I hated acting as a stranger to you, and you to me. I thought if I showed you something important to me, you might understand..."

"I think, if possible, I understand less than before," Ilene said, her eyes turning to the ground beneath their feet, the soft grass and the blooming flowers, their colours growing in visibility as the sky began to lighten "I thought that you had made it clear that you were, first and only, my protector."

Adith turned to face Ilene once again. "That's not what I meant!" she exclaimed, suddenly animated. "It's true that I am charged with protecting you; I take my duty very seriously. But I only meant to say that whatever affection or fondness I feel for you, it is not borne of a 'duty' to you or your father or anyone else."

Ilene started back a little at Adith's raised tone of voice as it rang out in the still nighttime air, somehow jarring in the almost supernatural peace of this clearing. Her eyes widened a little at her words however, and it was clear from her expression that things were beginning to click into place somewhat. "You do, then, feel something? For me, I mean?"

"Why else would I bring you here?" the other woman asked, gesturing to the clearing around them. She seemed to have forgotten of their difference in stations, the fact that she was in fact still a servant of the woman before her.

"But you don't say it!" Ilene's hope had once more given way to frustration. "You say 'whatever I feel' and 'why else would I do this' and 'that is not part of my duty' but you can't just tell me. I told you that I feel more myself with you than anyone I've known, I've told you that I trust you, with my life, beyond any reasonable expectation of duty, and still you edge around me, you call me 'm'lady' and follow my orders and ask my permission and defer to me."

"You are not the only one afraid of losing someone!" Adith retorted, her voice once again louder than necessary, ringing out across the clearing. "One day all this will be over, and you will leave Norstead, and I will be alone again, and I cannot-- I cannot face that." She sucked in a deep breath, hands clenching and unclenching at her sides.

"Well if that's the case I don't see why you should want to make me feel so wretched for trying to protect us from that!" Ilene lifted her hands defensively and for a moment it looked like she was going to physically push Adith, but a moment later she dropped them. "If that's the case, why did you bring me here, of all places?"

"Because the only thing worse than being alone then is being alone now," the guard muttered softly, in contrast to her earlier shouts. It seemed all the anger and energy had gone out of her as quickly as it had started.

"That's not very consistent."

"I wasn't trying to be consistent. I was just trying to make things better."

"You could make things better by just telling me how you feel about me." There was something of the old Ilene that Adith felt she knew best in that tone. The sense that she should be obeyed not because she was nobility, not because she was the daughter of the Laird, not because Adith was her bodyguard but because she was a strong-willed, intelligent woman who deserved respect and honesty. It was hard to argue with.

Adith thought about trying to protest, but all excuses died on her tongue the longer she looked at the dark-haired woman in front of her. "I think you are incredible," she said finally, too tired of arguing to try and dress up the words in anything but the truth. "You are one of the most fascinating women I have ever met, and you make me forget a great many things when I am with you."

Ilene was silent for some time following this declaration, as though stunned mute by the answer she'd received. Rather than answer in words, she stepped forward and slipped her arms around Adith's waist in one smooth motion, tipping her chin just slightly to rest it on the other woman's shoulder. The guardswoman froze for a moment, not having expected such a response, and then melted into Ilene's embrace, craving the closeness as much as reassurance that things were on the mend between them.

Eventually the other woman pulled back to look up at Adith, her brow furrowing slightly again as her mind processed the guard's words to her. Whatever she thought of them, though, she appeared to forget as she took in Adith's expression, noticing in an instant the tears glistening in her eyes. The blonde woman reached up to wipe them away soon after, looking embarrassed to have been caught, but Ilene seemed disinclined to let the moment pass for all that she almost certainly knew better, lifting her hands and taking Adith's in hers. "I'm sorry," she said. "I should have thought about where we are before... I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine," Adith protested, shaking her head. "It's good we're here."

"I don't want to sully your memories of this place with my... insecurities."

"I would not have brought you here if I did not want to share it with you."

"I still don't really understand," Ilene said, her fingers tightening around Adith's. "Are we now disregarding our stations, or observing them?"

"I don't know," the guard replied tiredly. "I do not want to hurt you, and if you think it is best that we behave according to our stations, I will abide by it. But-" she added as she saw the other woman open her mouth to protest. "I would rather be your friend."

Finally, a genuine smile grew on Ilene's face. "I would prefer that also." She released Adith's hands, although seemed reluctant to disconnect entirely, stepping a little closer so that their fingertips lingered in contact even as Adith dropped her arms to hang by her sides.

"It will soon be light, and we have a long ride ahead of us. Before we go, however, I have brought some food if you would like to share it."

Ilene nodded, finally stepping back and looking around for somewhere they might sit without disturbing the spring flowers. Eventually they found a spot and settled down, Adith spreading their cloak for both women to sit on. She then unpacked the food she had brought: a selection of sweetcakes and fruit, mainly, with a flask of mead to share.

The younger woman seemed slightly surprised by Adith's choice of sustenance - usually she brought bread and meat rather than sweetmeats, but apparently approved of the variation as she made no comment, only taking what was passed to her with thanks. There was obviously still something preying on her mind, but thankfully she seemed contented to keep it to herself rather than inject further discomfort into their unexpectedly tumultuous trip.

They ate in silence - Adith was saved from haunting memories of her last visit to the clearing by the confusing thoughts and questions that Ilene's outburst had prompted. While she could see the wisdom in maintaining a professional distance between them, as she herself had tried to do for so long, but the more she pondered it the less she cared, or indeed wanted to abide by it. Ilene had become more than just a charge, and though she was still friendly with her fellow guards her own sense of isolation had become almost overwhelming. Losing the one person who kept it from becoming a complete reality would be difficult.

Ilene finished eating before Adith did, and took the opportunity to lie back on the cloak, crossing her long legs at the ankle and staring up at the clear night sky. With the trees thickly surrounding the clearing they could not see the approaching dawn from here, although a pink glow had begun to the east. "We might see that promised storm yet," she murmured quietly.

Adith looked over at the other woman, raising her eyebrows slightly. "How can you tell?"

Ilene shrugged, though the motion came across differently when she was lying down. "The sky. Something in the air. I don't know."

"I suppose we will have to wait and see."

Either the mead, the serenity of their location, or perhaps an exhaustion after their journey and subsequent argument seemed to have taken all of Ilene's energy and dulled her sharp edges somewhat. Where she might have had a witty riposte she instead offered a quiet, non-committal, "Mm," a contented sigh, and she raised her hand, reaching out toward Adith without looking over at her and letting it come to rest where it may, which happened to be against the other woman's thigh, palm up.

The touch radiated through the guard - without her cloak she was growing cold, and Ilene's hand was warm. She looked down at the noblewoman as if expecting something else - a word, a glance - but when none came she merely placed her hand over Ilene's, interlacing their fingers loosely.

"This place really is perfect," Ilene said eventually.

 

"I know," Natia answered with a gentle smile. "I've been wanting to show you it for some time, but..." She shook her head a little. "I did not want you to laugh at me." She chuckled at this, shifting her shoulders a little to get comfortable, her head warm on Adith's thigh, loose hair spilling across her lap. "But after the other night..."

"I wouldn't have laughed at you, not even before that," Adith said solemnly, running her fingers lightly through the red-hued tresses. "It's lovely. And I never would have known it was here, if you hadn't shown me."

"Well, we're here now..." Natia punctuated this by reaching up to touch her fingertips to Adith's face, her serene smile never fading. "It's so hard to see straight, down at the keep, in the guardhouse, always surrounded by noise and smells of cooking and leather and metal. I think I needed to come here with you or I might have let us go back to what we were these past years, tried to rope us back in." Natia was always a mild, even-tempered woman - even her strongest emotions were reined in a little by comparison to most folk. This in mind, the expression of utter adoration she wore now was almost frightening in its intensity. "Up here I can see how impossible that would be."

Adith caught the other woman's hand in her own free one, bringing Natia's fingers to her lips and kissing each one in turn. "You know I would have waited forever for you," she murmured, squeezing Natia's hand gently. "Just to hear you say that, to know you felt about me the same as I felt about you."

"I should never have made you wait so long."

"You were my friend; that was what was important. I could endure anything with you by my side. Even waiting for you to admit the truth," Adith added, grinning.

"Oh, look who's so confident now!" Natia teased, sitting up and turning to lean in close, touching her nose to Adith's. "You're like a cat with cream on its paws."

"And why shouldn't I be?" the younger woman wanted to know. She wrapped her arms around Natia's waist, feeling the undeniable rush of excitement and attraction race through her. "I pined after you for years only to find that you had been trying to ignore the exact same sentiments. I would say that's fair reason enough to feel somewhat pleased."

Though Natia leaned in and touched a light kiss to Adith's lips, she pulled back a moment later, her expression a little less lighthearted. "Well, take it from someone who's travelled this path before, from here is where it gets treacherous. I had good reason to be hesitant, as you will soon realise."

"It doesn't matter," Adith replied, with all the bravado of inexperienced youth. "It's worth it, no matter the challenges."

"You may live to regret those words," Natia warned, but let the moment pass, willingly submitting as Adith leaned in again.

 

The ride back to the keep was uneventful, if time-consuming - they arrived back just as the stables were beginning to bustle with the first activity of the day, and Adith had to work very carefully indeed to slip both horses back into their stalls without being noticed by any of the stablehands. She spirited Ilene back up to her room and managed to resume her place by the door mere minutes before Hobb arrived to take her place. Relieved that they seemed to have avoided notice yet again, Adith stumbled sleepily down the stairs to her room. Pushing open the door, she headed straight for her bed, stopping short as she realized belatedly she was not alone.

"Well, that was new. Trying out some old haunts, are we?"

Adith's hand was on her sword in a second. "Get out of my room," she growled at the assassin lounging idly on her bed. "Now."

"It's funny how quickly one bounces back, isn't it? Why, I was just thinking the other day th-"

Forget the sword. Adith closed the space between them in seconds, grabbing Dil by the collar of his velvety black tunic and jerking him to his feet unceremoniously. Without even thinking she drew back a first and let it go, knuckles meeting flesh and bone with a sickening crunch, and the young man let out a cry of pain. He didn't relent, however, only favouring Adith with a broad, blood already seeping across his gums, running along the grooves between his teeth. "Strike a nerve, did I?" he asked, enunciating no less carefully than normal, bloody spit lightly speckling Adith's face as she held it close to hers.

"I have had enough of your sneaking and spying, Merik. Your concern is the Lady Ilene's safety, not random gossip," she spat, shaking him. "I do not know your purpose in coming here but if you continue to waste your time and mine I will report you to Lord Garas himself."

"Gossip? Gossip? Who would I gossip with, Tarn? I'm merely doing my job. I find it interesting that you two are still taking midnight strolls given Ilene is now officially in residence..."

"My lady requested. Who was I to argue her wishes?" Even as she said it Adith gritted her teeth; she knew this excuse would not stand up to scrutiny.

"Oh come now, we both know that your attentions to the lady Ilene are well above and beyond the call of duty." Merik leaned a little closer, and Adith could smell his sour breath as he spoke. "She must be turning in her grave," he murmured.

It was all Adith could do not to draw her sword and run it through the smirking assassin right then and there. As it was, she balled up a fist again and drove it into his stomach, shoving him backwards onto the bed so hard his head knocked against the cold stone wall. "If you had done your job properly she would still be here!" she shouted, not caring if she was heard in the hallway beyond.

Dil double up immediately, too winded to cry out, never mind to speak. He retched and for a moment Adith thought he was going to vomit, but the moment passed. When he spoke again, his voice was hoarse, but his tone no less biting. "Ah, yes, blame me, by all means," he said, looking up at her, eyes narrowed, a mirthless smile made grotesque by the blood around his mouth. "Whatever makes it easier for you. Abuse me all you like, Tarn, I've had worse than that from worse than you, and you know it - you've stood by and watched it, more than once. Only one person has ever had the decency to defend me against others. I think you can guess who that would have been."

Anger still coursed through her, but it was now tempered by overwhelming tiredness, and sorrow. Her shoulders slumped and she struggled to keep her voice from shaking as she spoke. "Well, then I'm sorry for your sake she's gone, because if you ever imply anything to tarnish her reputation in my hearing again, I will make you pay for it. Whatever rumors you spread, know that I will find out their source sooner or later."

The beginning of a laugh gave way to a groan of pain. Dil made to sit up, but it was a struggle. "I have done nothing to tarnish Natia Dey's reputation. That burden lies with you, and whatever might be said about her would hold no water were it not, in fact, true. Or perhaps you've forgotten that. You certainly seem to have been blessed with a short memory given your current activities. Does she know, do you think?" he asked, smirking up at Adith, seemingly having realised that his physical punishment had, for now at least, been stayed. "Or does she think you want to be her friend?"

"I will not listen to this poison any longer," the guard said, disgusted. Turning on her heel, she stalked towards the door, not caring that Merik was still lying prostrate on her bed, dripping blood onto her carefully-folded blanket.

"Think very carefully, Tarn," Dil called out as she made her exit. "Ilene is not another guardsman, and you are no longer just any guard."

 

Adith roamed the keep restlessly after her encounter with Dil, unable to find peace from the nagging thoughts his accusations had left with her. Eventually, overcome by exhaustion and emotion, she found herself back in the familiar territory of the barracks. Her feet led her at once towards the door that would open to Natia's old room - a room that was now occupied by Cale, in his role as personal guardsman to the laird. Knowing her friend would be on duty now and not begrudge her a place to rest she pushed open the door and all but collapsed in a heap on the low pallet, barely managing to unbuckle her swordbelt before succumbing to sleep. She thought she could almost smell Natia's scent on the thick woollen blankets, and pulled them around herself as she descended into unconsciousness.

 

Altogether, Adith thought, this feast had been much more enjoyable than the last. Her leg had fully healed months before, meaning that she was free to take part in the merry dancing that had inevitably started once enough drink had been consumed by the various attendants of the meal. Though she was no expert, she was still young and a capable dancer, which meant she had very few opportunities for rest as the night wore on, which was as she liked it.

Cale had been particularly attentive to her, and she knew this was in no small part due to his growing affection for her. They'd been friends for some time, although he was a little older than she and he had grown up at Deerforth, to the south west, and in recent months it had come to her attention that in the long term, simple friendship was perhaps not what he had in mind. Thus far she had managed to put him off, or at least avoid addressing the issue, and though they had shared a few dances she had favored others with as much attention as well, so as not to court any misunderstandings.

Natia only appeared in the hall towards the end of the evening, having been pulled away to a meeting among the lords and their personal guard straight after they'd eaten, but now she found her way to the floor and pulled Cale into a set of dances that took his attentions away from Adith for a good while. Though grateful for the respite, Adith found herself glancing over to watch the couple almost jealously as they moved through the steps of the reel. Both wore smiles, though Cale's was far wider than Natia's, and she had to admit they made a fine pair, as they were almost equally matched in stature and ability.

The night wore on, and Adith danced another few times before the musicians began to tire and the revellers began to filter back off the floor to sit by the sides of the hall, or to leave for their own pursuits, be it sleep, a quiet game of cards, or something more private. Finishing the last of her drink in one gulp, Adith pushed herself off the bench and hurried to catch up with Natia, who seemed to be leaving the hall on her own.

"Leaving so soon?" Natia turned to grin at her, looking amused but a little tired.

"I need some peace and quiet," Natia said with a chuckle. "You're going to have to deal with him on your own eventually - I don't live to distract him for you."

"Oh, no, I didn't mean... that," Adith finished lamely. "Just that it would have been nice to have a drink before you left. That's all."

"Ah," Natia pursed her lips thoughtfully. "Well, why don't you fetch us a pitcher of wine and follow me to my quarters - you know the way?"

"I'm sure I can find it." Eagerly Adith dashed off to wheedle a pitcher off of one of the beleaguered serving boys busily at work clearing the main hall. It took her a few minutes, but eventually she was back on her way towards the barracks, having managed to pilfer a few candied fruits as well, which she had tucked in her tunic for safekeeping.

Natia had taken the time to add some wood to the small fire in her room, and to remove her leather armour and boots, and was reclining on her bed, head and shoulders resting against the wall, looking near to asleep, by the time Adith had knocked on her door and, after a confirmatory response, entered.

There was only one mug resting on the small shelf by the bed - Adith filled this and passed it first to Natia. "You seem tired," she remarked almost shyly then. "Perhaps I should go."

"Mm, no, it's all right. Company is always nice." Natia took a long drink from the mug and passed it back. "Are you well, Adith?"

"Yes, thank you. My leg has healed, and Anth says my training is back on form, which is good."

"Very much so. I'll have to put you through your paces..." Natia groaned contentedly as the wine began to take effect, and slid down the bed a little further. "Although perhaps next week, when I'm not on double shifts."

"Why are you so busy?" Adith knew there was a good chance Natia might not tell her, for matters of security, but felt that it couldn't hurt to ask. "Is something the matter?"

The other woman opened her eyes, raising an eyebrow and giving Adith a look of appraisal. "We're back in discussion with Nidun. The men who arrived the other day are his envoy. Things are... tense."

Adith nodded, leaning forward slightly in anticipation. "I had heard rumors of unrest, but did not know from what quarter. Does he truly mean to try and renegotiate the terms of his agreement?"

"We're not sure yet. We think he's going to demand some of our guard on retainer."

"Well, the garrison is well-supplied at the moment... I suppose we could afford to send some and still maintain our own forces."

"Garas might send me."

"But you're his personal guard!" Adith blurted, shocked. "Why would he send you away?"

"Precisely because I'm his personal guard. Nidun is testing us; he wants to know that the support we offer in return for his allegiance is genuine. If I go he will know that we are in earnest. Furthermore it would do no harm to have a keen pair of eyes at his keep."

"Then I would like to go as well," the younger woman decided. "I have been there once before, I know my way around."

Natia raised her eyebrows. "You would join Nidun's guard? Why?"

"Because I... would like to see more of the world," Adith said, chewing her lip.

"Well. I suppose that's an admirable enough quality. But be careful what you volunteer yourself for. This might not be an easy assignment." Natia pursed her lips thoughtfully, fixing her gaze on Adith with a new expression of consideration. "I could make sure you ended up on the detail, though, were I to be placed myself. If you'd really like."

"I would," the younger woman said eagerly. "I am happy to serve Lord Garas however I can; perhaps I will be of use in Nidun's guard."

"Hm. Perhaps."

Adith opened her mouth to say more, perhaps to argue her inclusion further, as the idea of traveling back to Nidun's keep with Natia's detail was both exciting and inviting. Before she could, however, there came the sound of a brawl from without, shouts and the meaty thud of punches being thrown in the main barracks resonating through the corridor to where they sat.

Natia lifted her head, frowning and looking in the direction of the sound (despite there being one or two walls between there and where they currently sat). She sat forward a little, poised to make a decision on whether to intervene based on what she heard. The sound of a beating continued, along with the pitiful yelps of a young man in pain. Adith frowned as well, tipping her head to listen but not moving from where she sat. These sorts of altercations happened from time to time; it was best not to get involved lest you become tangled in the sometimes-complex nuances of the guards' politics.

As the moment stretched out, Natia seemed to decide that whatever was going on had gone on long enough, and swung her legs off the bed, pushing to her feet and making resolutely for the door that would lead her to the main guard room.

What they found when they entered the main room was to be expected - several young men gathered around another, watching as he was struck repeatedly by one of their own to the sound of jeers and laughs. Adith recognized the victim as Dil Merik, a particularly odious specimen who had defected from the guards a few years earlier in favor of some 'better' assignment - a fact which he took every possible opportunity to rub in their faces.

Natia didn't even seem to hesitate long enough to see who was being beaten; she just waded straight in, literally grabbing one man by the collar and wrenching him out of the way.

"Enough!"

There was a general buzz of disapproval, though Adith noticed none of the men made a move to openly disobey Natia. "Oi! This isn't any of your business," one of them grumbled, watching as Merik slunk back against the wall, wiping the blood from his readily-dripping nose. "The bastard's been asking for this for a long time."

"Nobody asks to be beaten four against one," Natia countered. "I don't care what he's done. It's unacceptable, and I won't have it in this guard room, or anywhere else in the keep, understood?"

The guards grumbled, but stepped back, looking anywhere but at the redhead as they did so. Adith noticed Merik cast a grateful glance at Natia before moving as unobtrusively towards the door as he could.

Natia's mouth had flattened to an unamused line. She shot Adith a glance that expressed her exasperation with the guard involved, and tipped her head back in the direction of her room, raising her eyebrows in question. Not needing asked twice, Adith returned to the safety of Natia's room while the other woman supervised the dispersal of the guards. She heard the murmur of voices but could not catch what was said - meanwhile she refreshed the mug of wine, perching on the end of the bed and thinking about what she had witnessed.

"I don't even know why I bother," the older woman said, already talking before the door to her room even slid shut behind her, moving to sit next to Adith on the bed and taking the mug that was offered without a word. "It's like talking to stone. They just don't listen."

"They did listen, though. They stopped when you told them to."

"Give it a couple of days. That poor lad never gets a minute's peace."

"Well," Adith said with a snort, "it's not as if he doesn't court it. If he really wanted to stay out of trouble he'd keep his mouth shut."

Natia looked up at Adith sharply, her brow furrowing anew. She opened her mouth to speak, but seemed to decide against it, instead just sighing and lifting her legs back up onto the bed, turning to lean once more against the wall at its head. Feeling as if she had just lumped herself in with the very people Natia was fed up with, Adith took a gulp of wine. It wasn't as if she herself had every bullied Merik physically, but she did dislike him, as he was an annoying, officious, sneering specimen who, when he was not being intimidated by the guard, was doing his best to insult them. She wanted to point this out to the redhead but sensed it would not be a wise choice; she opted for changing the subject instead.

"So, do you think it would be a long assignment, working with Nidun? How many would Lord Garas send?"

 

When Adith woke up, the first thing she noticed was the taste of blood in her mouth - her tongue was sore and swollen and there was an ache in her jaws - she'd been grinding her teeth and had bitten her tongue in her sleep. The second thing she noticed, as she opened her eyes and slowly adjusted to the lamplight of the room, was Cale sitting in a chair by the bed.

"Adith, I think perhaps we should talk."

"Can it wait?" she groaned, rolling onto her back and staring up at the ceiling as she tried to swallow down the metallic taste. "I need some water."

"There's some by the bed."

"Mmph." Adith pushed herself up, finding the pitcher and mug on the table and pouring herself a full glass. She took a drink and swished it around her mouth, wincing as the motion irritated her swollen tongue before swallowing it down. "That's better. Are you off shift now? I can't remember who's on..."

"Hobb." Cale straightened and sat forward a little to give her his attention as she sat, and she wondered how long he'd been waiting for her to wake.

"Ah, right. Well, that probably means you'll be wanting your bed, then." She took another drink and then made to stand, stopping only when she saw the expression on Cale's face. "What?"

"Adith, why are you here? What's going on?"

"Oh, that. I... just needed a place to sleep. My room was... occupied this morning."

"Merik?" Cale raised his eyebrows. "I saw him in the corridor. I think you cracked a rib."

"Maybe now he'll keep his mouth shut," Adith grumbled, a strange feeling almost like guilt washing through her. She looked away from Cale, eyes following the chinks in the rough stone wall.

"What in hells did he do to deserve that?"

"It's none of your concern, Cale. Thank you for the water, I really must be going."

"Hoy..." Cale stood as Adith did, taking her upper arms gently to still her. "You're my friend. I am concerned. Please, sit down."

She considered pushing past him; she knew he would let her go if she insisted. She found that she didn't have the energy to do so, however, as she still felt drained from the tumultuous events of the past day and instead allowed him to sit her down on the bed gently. "There's no need to be concerned about me," she lied, trying to give him a genuine smile. "I'm sorry I usurped your bed, but I was just tired. That was all."

"I have never seen you hit someone without serious provocation." It was clear that this was not Cale's primary concern, but he seemed to have discerned that it might be a good place to start.

"Why do you assume I did this time, then?" she countered.

"Hobb heard you." Cale shook his head, sitting back down himself. He looked tired, and worried, and much as it irritated her Adith couldn't help but feel sorry for him, and for the way she had acted towards him in recent days. "Stop deflecting, Adith, would you please just tell me what's going on?"

She sighed. "He insulted me. He came into my chamber uninvited, insulted me, and tried to threaten me. I was tired, and he made me angry, so I hit him. Looking back... I should not have done so," she admitted quietly.

"He insulted you?" Cale frowned. This reaction didn't tally with the Adith he knew, and she knew it wasn't washing with him. "How did he threaten you? What with?"

Adith knew it was impossible to brush him off with an 'it's private'; she also knew it was equally impossible to try and placate him with half-truths. Which left her in a quandary. "He spoke about Natia. And Ilene," she said eventually, pursing her lips. "He knows that I accompany her outside the keep some nights."

The young man's frown didn't shift, his furrowed brow accentuating the scar on his forehead. Adith thought idly that it had healed well in the past year and a half, the flesh still red but neatly knitted together, his features still symmetrical. Her stomach twisted a little as she remembered Ilene's declaration of his comeliness. "I don't understand," he said. "Merik would never talk about that; it would most certainly compromise their safety. And what does that have to do with Natia?"

"It just... does," Adith said lamely. "He accused me of... losing sight of my duty. And acting indecorously."

Cale raised his eyebrows. "Ah." The utterance spoke volumes. Adith had never discussed the nature of her relationship with Natia with him, but it became clear from his expression that he knew more than she'd told him, at least. And are you?"

Flushing deeply, Adith shook her head. "My duty is to protect Lady Ilene, and every action I take ensures that. I would never compromise her safety for any reason, personal or otherwise."

"Then why did you lose your temper?"

"Because it's Merik! I cannot stand to speak to him at the best of times, and after last night..."

"What about last night?"

Adith paused, realizing she had stumbled into another subject she was loathe to talk about with Cale. "Lady Ilene and I argued. As a result I was on edge, and I may have overreacted to Merik's insinuations."

Cale's eyes narrowed in calculation, his expression grave as he watched Adith's face, saying nothing for a long moment. Eventually, he asked, in a carefully neutral tone, "Was it because there's some truth to them?"

Unable to help it, Adith's lip twitched in an involuntary spasm, and she had to fight to keep her gaze steady on Cale's face. "I admit to being quite fond of Lady Ilene," she replied, as if she had nothing to hide. "She is hard to dislike, as you yourself know."

"And is she fond of you?"

"That you would have to ask her yourself."

His mouth flattening to a worried line, Cale leant forward to place a hand over Adith's where it gripped her own knee. "Be careful. I would not see you hurt."

"Cale," she said, injecting forced cheer into her tone, "you worry too much. I don't know what you're talking about - I think you must be confused."

"Am I?" He raised his eyebrows. "I don't think I am."

Frustrated, Adith pulled her hand out from under Cale's, her own expression turning serious once more. "Then that is where our opinions differ," she said coldly. She had had enough of people pulling at her from all sides - Merik with his slimy insinuations; Cale with his solemn worry; and Ilene with her winsome charm. Her decisions hardly felt her own anymore. "Thank you for the use of your room. I will leave you to it now."

"Adith..." Cale sat back as Adith stood, immediately standing and getting out of her way himself rather than trying to stop her again, as though he knew that, this time, she would just push past him. "Adith, please, I'm your friend, I'm not trying to threaten you, I would nev-"

"My life is my own!" she exclaimed, stopping just at the door and turning to face the other guard with the threat of tears welling in her eyes. "Please just leave me to it. I do not want your advice, nor your pity. I am fine as I am."

Cale blinked, looking somewhat shocked. Shrugging, he shook his head in a gesture of confusion and gestured toward the door. He did not meet her eyes.

For the second time that day Adith left a room without knowing exactly where she was going, her vision blurred by tears barely held in check. The keep had always been her home and yet she suddenly felt as if her place there was in jeopardy, the foundations of her day-to-day life threatened by her own emotional swings and the interference of the people around her. She longed to blend back into the ranks, to become a part of a whole without drawing attention to herself or her inability to deal with the changes that had run rampant over her the past year and a half.

 

Unfortunately, there was not time to dwell on such things - at least not to the exclusion of all else. She had barely had time to get back to her room and clean up the worst of the blood Dil Merik had left behind him on her blankets before it was time to relieve Hobb and take back up her post.

Adith knocked lightly on the door as usual, then pushed it open, nodding at Hobb as he excused himself from the room. As it was nearing the evening the light had begun to fade, and along with the fire crackling in the hearth several candles had been lit and scattered about the room to provide illumination and warmth.

Ilene was making the best of what was left of the light, having pulled a lectern over to the west-facing window, and was currently hunched over a parchment that, judging by her stance, Adith guessed was probably an illumination panel. The guard took her usual place at the door, keeping silent, as she wasn't sure exactly what to say to the other woman just then. They had left on friendly terms, but exactly what those terms were Adith still wasn't sure.

For some time, the young noblewoman didn't even look up from her work, so engrossed was she that Adith wasn't positive she'd even noticed the change of guard. As the light faded, however, she seemed to deem it too dark to continue, and she moved around from behind the lectern, turning to close the shutters before moving toward the seats by the fire. Adith noted, looking at them now, that they had been moved - where previously they had sat at opposite sides of the broad harth, some yards apart, they now sat next to one another in front of the fire, almost touching.

Only now, as she moved to sit down, did Ilene acknowledge Adith's presence. Looking over and shooting her a smile of greeting.

"M'lady," Adith said with an answering smile, feeling the tension of the day's encounters begin to slip from her shoulders.

Ilene patted the back of one of the chairs with her eyebrows raised expectantly. "Please. In this room, or out on the glen, could it be Ilene?" she asked. Clearly, then, some things were to change.

"Yes, m'la-- Ilene." Adith made her way to the chair, taking a seat in the newly-rearranged chair and resting her hands on her knees somewhat awkwardly.

Ilene folded her legs up onto her chair, wrapping an arm around them and turning to the side to survery the other woman. "You're worried." It was framed as something half-way between a question and a suggestion. "Do you want to talk?"

"I am afraid it would be a confusing situation to delve into," Adith said truthfully, shaking her head.

"I'm sure I could manage." Ilene smiled faintly. "But that's all right."

"It is no judgment upon you. I only fear that my ability to explain it - or anything - right now is severely lacking. And..." The guard let her shoulders fall just slightly, sinking back into the chair. "What I would like more than anything right now is not to think of it at all."

"I heard your altercation," the other woman said quietly. "Dil Merik?"

Adith nodded, her fingers plucking nervously at the buckle of her belt. "Yes."

"Has he been following us?" Was it Adith's imagination that there was the slightest hint of nervousness to this question?

"He's aware of our outings. Whether this means he has followed us... I don't know."

Ilene shuddered a little. "That's... an unpleasant thought."

"Yes. I know."

"I'm sorry. I had not thought of him, during any of... this."

"It is his duty to know your whereabouts, just as it is mine to ensure your safety," Adith said, spreading her palms upwards on her thighs. "It is no real surprise."

"Perhaps not. I had just forgotten." Ilene frowned, leaning forward to place a hand on the arm of Adith's chair.

"I am sorry if our disagreement disrupted your attempts at sleep."

"I was not asleep. I lay awake for some time, thinking of our talk."

"Then I apologize for disrupting your rest in that way. It was not my intent to give you any unrest of mind or body."

Ilene shook her head. "Please, don't. It's not your fault. My thoughts were my own, and you have no reason to apologise."

"Very well."

"Would you like me to play and sing?" Ilene asked. The question seemed to come from nowhere, but it had become not unusual for Ilene to spend part of the evening playing the lute by the fire while Adith listened in a peaceful silence.

"That would be pleasant," the guard said, inclining her head. She glanced down at Ilene's slim hand lying so close to her own. "If you like."

"All right."

The night passed quietly; after some ours of playing and quiet conversation Ilene made her way to bed, and Adith resumed her post at the door to stand watch as the noblewoman slept. She was relieved some time after midnight and went immediately to her own room, to fall into a fitful sleep on the few clean blankets that remained.

 

And so it was for the days following - Adith went about her duties as normal, and Ilene her own passtimes. Her brother was back at the keep to update his father on the happenings around his Borders abode, and so she took one of her evening meals with him in his quarters (a considerably larger set of rooms than her own). She requested for Adith to accompany her, and it was with some relief that the guard watched the young noblewoman laugh and jest with her brother throughout the meal.

Phin was on good form, witty and intelligent, indeed reminding her very much of Ilene, and Ilene was at least a little more herself around her brother than around the the other nobles of the keep. He was however quite generous with himself where their mead or wine was concerned, and encouraged Ilene to be likewise. By the end of the evening they were both quite merry, and Ilene reeled slightly (still graceful, though, Adith noticed) as she stood to look out the heavily-curtained window at the moonlit sea.

"It's good to see your confinement does not chafe you too much," Phin remarked, emptying the last of a pitcher of wine into his goblet. "I had feared I would find you climbing the walls to escape."

Ilene chuckled. "I have managed to get by. I did think, at times, that I might go out of my mind, but we do what we must."

"I'll drink to that," her brother agreed, tipping back his wine.

 

"Hah, sorry..." Ilene still had her senses about her as she and Adith made their way up the East Tower staircases, but the winding steps had proved a little too much for her somewhat unsteady walking on a couple of occasions. She leant a little on Adith's arm as she steadied herself. "I blame this ridiculous dress," she said matter-of-factly as she slipped hand around the crook of the guard's elbow. "It does not go well with wine. Perhaps you should carry me." She chuckled, a warm, low sound that echoed lightly in the stairwell.

"That might lack a certain air of dignity," Adith commented, steadying the other woman with both hands as they navigated the beginning of the next flight of stairs. "And I think your dress is very nice, even if it does not currently please you."

"Can I prevail upon you to help me loosen the stays when we get to my chamber? I'm loathe to wake Meri but I fear my own fingers may all be thumbs..."

"Yes, m'lady. Of course."

 

Of course, Adith's agreement to help meant, of course, that she would have to stand very close indeed to Ilene as she undressed for the night, her overdress removed, leaving her in her skirts and corsetry. "It's tied at the bottom," she said of the laces that crisscrossed the front of her bodice. "Always so carefully bowed but somehow it's always in an irretrevable tangle by bedtime, and I, well..." She giggled a little, an unfamiliar sound, but not an unpleasant one, before finishing her thought. "These stays make much of little such that I'm not in a particularly good position to unknot it." She glanced up almost shyly at Adith.

The guard almost missed the look, as she had been busy studying the mass of laces before her. She gave Ilene what she hoped was a reassuring smile before taking a deep breath and sliding her fingers under the knots. "It has been a very long time since I had to wear one of these," she remarked as she began to tease them loose.

"You've ever worn one of these?"

"When I was much younger. My mother once accused me of joining the guard solely so that I wouldn't have to go around in skirts."

"How do I enlist?" Ilene chuckled, her confined ribcage shifting beneath Adith's working fingers.

"You... um... start training." The guard frowned, her fingers tangling in the laces as her attention was temporarily diverted.

"Hm. I'm not sure my father would look terribly kindly upon that." There was a silence during which the only sound was the two women's breathing, and the crackling of the freshly fuelled fire. Adith's fingers brushed beneath the hem of the corset, and Ilene sucked in a breath, pulling her stomach in. "Sorry."

"No, I'm... sorry," Adith murmured. "Maybe I ought to get Meri..."

"You're doing fine. I just need to stay still."

"Do you want to sit down? It might be easier... I could kneel."

"You don't want me to sit down," Ilene said with a shake of her head. She looked down at Adith now, catching her eyes, taking in her expression of forced concentration and slight panic. The guard gave a nervous smile, wishing she could solve this problem the easy way - she had a dagger in her boot that would make this so much simpler.

Ilene seemed to come to a decision then to take pity on the other woman, and she placed her hands over Adith's, gently disengaging them. She teased at the knots for a few moments and they were soon loosened.

"I suppose you didn't need me after all," Adith remarked, her hands coming to rest lightly on Ilene's waist.

The young woman smiled a little. "I suppose not."

"Is there anything else you need, or..."

Ilene tipped her head to one side, stepping a shade closer. "I'm somewhat thirsty. That wine dries the throat..."

Adith swallowed. "I will get some water, then."

"Thanks." As the guard fetched a cup of water from the fresh pitcher that was regularly replaced in Ilene's chamber, Ilene unselfconsciously continued to loosen her stays, removing the corset and slinging it over the back of a chair.

Adith returned, handing the water to Ilene and trying to ignore the flush she felt when their fingers brushed. It wasn't just that the other woman was in a state of undress, her cheeks pink and rosy from the wine she had drunk; it was also the easy smile she gave Adith as she ran a hand through her unbound hair.

She repeated her thank you as she took the cup and sat back on her bed, her underdress somehow managing to hang loosely on her slim frame and yet accentuate it simultaneously.

Adith nodded, turning to put some distance between her and the noblewoman. "Is there anything else you would like, m'lady? I mean, Ilene?" she asked, pacing towards the hearth to poke at the smoldering coals.

"Would you come and sit with me?"

"Er..." Despite her misgivings, Adith put down the poker and returned to the bed, unable to sit down and instead hovering near the end, her fingers drumming against her thighs nervously. "Here?"

Ilene apparently was at least subconsciously keen to make Adith as uncomfortable as possible, for she moved over where she sat on the bed and patted the soft matress next to her.

"Wouldn't it be more comfortable by the hearth? It's warmer there, at least..."

"Mhm, I'm too warm."

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that," the guard said lamely, reluctantly taking a seat on the bed at last.

Ilene giggled again, hiccupping slightly, then taking a sip of her water. "I won't bite you, you know," she said. "Anyone would think I was asking you to drink poison for me."

"My apologies."

"This is your job, you know," Ilene said solemnly, shifting to lean against Adith and pulling some of her blankets up over her legs. She settled down with her head on the guard's shoulder, linking her arm once more through Addith's. "To make me feel safe and secure."

"I think you may be misinterpreting the meaning of my duties just slightly," Adith told her, smiling fondly in spite of herself.

"Reinterpreting, perhaps." Ilene tipped her head, leaning in to nuzzle against Adith's neck.

"I would be hard-pressed to protect you should brigands invade right now."

"I don't see any brigands."

"Then they must be very well-hidden."

"Or the product of your over-active imagination..."

"Mm. One hopes." Adith drew a hand lightly over Ilene's arm, despite her words not making any move to disentangle herself or move away, and she felt the younger woman shiver a little and shift closer.

"Are you sure you are not cold, my lady?" the guard murmured.

Ilene didn't answer, except to pull her blankets further up over herself and settle down closer against Adith, slipping her arm around her waist. "Shh," she said, closing her eyes, a tiny smile creeping across her lips. Adith obeyed, allowing herself to relax enough to enjoy the sensation of closeness, though she kept herself alert for sounds from the outer corridor - in truth fearing not brigands, but Cale coming to relieve her from her shift.

In time Ilene's breathing slowed and shallowed as she drifted off to sleep, and Adith felt her body becoming limp as her muscles relaxed completely. Shifting, the guard lay her back on the bed, rearranging the blankets around her and smoothing her dark hair back from her face. The dark-haired women stirred a little, hand searching for a moment and finding Adith's, covering it where it rested against her face for a moment before wrapping her fingers around it.

 

"No, wait, I don't..." Adith let out a gasp, immediately leaning in to press her lips to the other woman's, shivering as she felt fingers skimming low under her belt. Her heart hammered in her chest, both from the shock of the contact and the exciting sensations it inspired.

Natia returned the kiss hungrily, almost roughly, mouth open, tongue delving between Adith's lips, a moan escaping her throat as her hand dipped lower without preamble. Adith's eyes fluttered shut as her hips pressed forward of their own accord, her own hands grasping tightly at Natia's upper arms. "Oh gods, please... don't stop."

Stopping seemed to be furthest from the redhead's mind, even for long enough to move to her nearby bed. Instead she pressed closer, grinding her hips against Adith's, the rough wall digging into the other woman's back in a way that would probably be deeply uncomfortable if she wasn't entirely distrated. Natia's other arm slid around her waist, tugging at her shirt to slip her hand beneath.

Acting entirely on instinct, the younger woman raised her knee, pressing it between Natia's legs with a groan as they balanced precariously against the wall. Her entire body felt alive, coursing with frissons left by the trail of Natia's fingers over her skin.

Natia's fingers picked up an insistent, almost urgent rhythm, mouth moving to Adith's cheek, her jawline, her neck, teeth nipping lightly at the smooth skin they found there. Tipping her head back, Adith gasped into the quiet room, her breathing sounding loud and ragged to her own ears. "Natia," she moaned as she approached the edge, her fingers clenching the other woman's shoulders as if she were the only anchor in a spinning sea of waves. Natia was almost entirely supporting her weight, whispering in her ear now, her breathing hot and hoarse; the only words she could make out were 'please' and 'love'.

When she came Adith's body stiffened; it was all she could do to think to lean forward and bury her face in Natia's neck, muffling her cries against the other woman's sweat-damp skin. Natia withdrew her hand, wrapping both arms tightly around Adith, falling silent.

"That was... gods..." The younger woman cupped Natia's cheek with one hand, her eyes squeezed tightly shut against any intrusion into the blissful haze.

Natia leaned in to kiss her again, her body tembling where it still largely supported her as they stood propped up against the rough stone wall. "I love you," she whispered quietly. "I'm in love with you."

"I love you too."

"Come to bed."

 

Adith stared down at the other woman, fingers curling under her hand against her soft, flushed skin. Suddenly she stood, removing herself from the cocoon of blankets and limbs and striding across the chamber briskly, trying to clear her head of the thoughts that had risen, unbidden, to torment her. She heard a little whimper behind her from the bed she'd left, although Ilene didn't wake, only curling up a little where she lay, pulling loose blankets into her arms to fill the gap that Adith had left.

It seemed better, at at time like this, to stand guard at a more prudent distance, and so Adith returned to her stance at the door, watching the firelight flicker across the room. The night was not that late, but she suddenly found herself wishing she was free to return to her room.

 

"Oh by the Gods... what did Phil give me last night?"

"I don't think it was the what, m'lady, such much as how much..." Adith tried to suppress a smirk, though it was difficult to do so when confronted with such a sight.

Ilene turned over in bed again, pulling the covers over her head and groaning. "He has much to answer for, regardless. Has Meri brought that horrible concoction she makes?"

"Yes, it is here on the table." The guard hesitated a moment, then stepped forward to retrieve the tray and carry it to the bed, as it seemed that the occupant would not be leaving it anytime soon. "It is best you drink it now, Ilene. I will get you some water."

"I hate you." There was a long pause, and eventually Ilene removed the blanket from over her head, forcing her eyes open and staring owlishly up at her guard. "I don't hate you. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now drink up."

 

It wasn't long before Ilene began to look a little more human, apparently recovering quickly for all that it didn't seem to take too much to make her feel unwell. She was soon sitting up properly in bed, looking far more congenial. Adith moved about the room, tidying the odd parchment away and folding a discarded robe before refilling the other woman's mug of water and putting it into her hands.

"Will you not come and sit down?"

"I am on duty," Adith reminded her.

"You were on duty last night."

"Yes, well..." Having no argument for that, Adith perched on the edge of the bed, sitting as comfortably as she could without getting too close to the other woman. "Are you feeling better?"

"I am, thank you. I take a while to come to my senses at the best of times, and evenings with Phin never aid my mobilisation." Ilene smiled ruefully. "I should admonish you for allowing me to compromise myself so," she teased.

"You were safe, if slightly unsteady. I would not have let anything happen to you."

"I believe you. I wish you had stayed by my side, though," Ilene added, a little more hesitantly, as though testing the waters of their relationship as it stood that day.

"I stayed until you fell asleep," Adith said, frowning.

"Ah, but I knew you'd gone." Ilene smiled gently. "It's all right. I understand."

"My lady-" Adith started, then stopped, and tried again. "Ilene. You must realize... I do want to make you happy. But I also do want to do my duty, and keep you safe. Acting in a way that compromises that... is contrary to my training, and my nature. To ask me to ignore that would be to request a very large sacrifice indeed, and expose you to danger. Is that truly what you want?"

The other woman shook her head. "No. It's as I said - I understand. I just..." She trailed off, tentative again. Unbidden her teeth caught her lower lip, biting down lightly as she thought.

Adith stayed quiet, watching the myriad thoughts and emotions pass over Ilene's face as she pondered whatever it was she meant to say. She had never met anybody quite so transparent, and yet it made her no easier to read, sadly.

"I want to ask," Ilene said eventually, her speech carefully measured, "whether you would consent to favouring me with your company on occasion at time when you are not on duty. But I do not want to pull you away from your other friends and your life outside of your duties for yet more time spent in my presence. And I would not want you to feel that it was an order from your charge. It would be a request, and dependent on your own wishes."

Adith considered this. On the one hand, she already spent quite a bit of time in Ilene's company, albeit in the role of bodyguard. To spend even more time would surely invite some raised eyebrows, especially from those who did not approve of the lower stations 'getting above themselves' and ingratiating themselves with the nobles. On the other hand, it wasn't as if she had a life outside her duties anymore, nor, after her argument with Cale, any friends. "I would like that," she said eventually, nodding.

Ilene smiled slightly. "Then perhaps you'd like to stay after your shift and join me for dinner later?"

"Very well. I will."

 

Ilene spent much of the day with one of her noblewoman friends, gossiping and working on a tapestry that they were making together. Ilene was back to her 'company' persona, and Adith found herself interested yet again by how different this was from the way she behaved in private. There was was no doubt that the other noblewomen enjoyed Ilene's company, or at least pretended to, laughing at her witty remarks and flattering her prowess with a needle. The guard wasn't sure if she would have been able to stand such an act, but Ilene seemed to tolerate it benevolently, never betraying any irritation if she felt it.

 

"I suppose you'll want to go and change out of your uniform?" It had sounded more like a suggestion than a question.

"I... uh... very well." The problem with this suggestion, of course, was that Adith had very little to wear that wasn't her uniform. She had excused herself from Ilene's presence and returned to her room, immediately pulling out her meager collection of clothes and looking through them with a frown. The only thing other than her usual wear was her dress tunic, which seemed a bit too formal.

Eventually she had settled for her newest uniform shirt and leggings (which were plain in any case), eschewed her leather armour, and gave her boots a cursory clean. That would have to do. She dithered over whether to wear her sword regardless of being off-duty, but decided eventually that she would leave it behind, despite the fact that she felt strangely naked walking up the stairwell without it by her side.

It was with some relief that she found that Ilene, if anything, was less formally dressed than she had been previously, having changed into one of the loose, dark coloured tunics and leggings she usually wore for their nighttime rides. Adith sat down in one of the chairs in front of the fire next to the other woman, hands clasped on her knees. Ilene shot her an almost nervous smile.

"Well, how have you been in the past few minutes?" she jested gently.

"Fine, I suppose. And yourself?"

Ilene chuckled. "Would you believe me if I confessed to nervousness?"

"I'm not sure I would understand the source..."

The dark-haired woman shrugged, stretching her legs out in front of her, crossing them at the ankle and relaxing in her chair, although the gesture looked almost defensive. "I suppose I worry that this will be strange." She glanced sidelong at Adith. "Meri is discreet, incidentally. I know you must be concerned that folk will talk. She won't say a word."

"I am sure they will hear somehow," Adith said regretfully, giving a slight shrug. "The harder you seek to suppress information, the faster it travels. But I'm not worried."

"They kept me secret for some time, despite our excursions. You never know. Besides," Ilene added, shooting Adith a smile, "you're known for your commitment to your duties. They may well think you are simply going above and beyond the call to ensure my safety."

"Whatever they think, it is none of my concern. I would hope it is not yours, either. Otherwise our... time together will be sullied by speculation and unease, and that would not do."

"I don't care if you don't." It almost came as a challenge.

"Very well. Then neither of us care," Adith said with a wry grin. "Good."

"Since we've established that, how would you like a game of cards?"

"Deal me in."

 

Ilene knew a surprising amount of card games for a noblewoman - and not just those limited to the genteel pastimes after a meal that some of the nobility enjoyed. Adith was glad to find the other woman a worthy opponent, and any awkwardness quickly dissipated as they became stuck into a particularly gruelling game involving bluffing and luck.

Ilene was a good bluffer, and reasonably good at discerning what Adith was up to, but she took risks, and eventually that combined with Adith's steely reserve made for a win on Adith's part.

"Well played," the guard said, sweeping all the cards into her head and shuffling them idly. "You nearly had me at one point."

"I strongly doubt that." Ilene seemed absurdly pleased at having lost, somehow, and she jumped up with a grin. "Would you like some mead? Dinner will be here soon, I think."

"Yes, that would be nice." Leaning back in her seat, Adith watched the other woman move about the room purposefully.

"Mind out, now," Ilene said as she settled back into her seat opposite Adith at the end of the table, beginning to pour the mead into the cups from which they had previously been drinking water, "it's strong stuff."

"Oh, I see. And you think I might over-indulge?" came the amused response.

"I have no idea. You are a guard, after all." Ilene raised a single eyebrow.

"Just what exactly is that supposed to imply?"

"Well, they're known for putting as much time and effort into their recreation as they do their work. You might tend along those lines, for all I know."

"Well, if I do, at least I'm not wearing a skirt to hinder my return to my rooms," Adith replied with a badly-hidden smirk. "Flawed though we may be, we're nothing if not practical."

"Ah, now, you know I would not dress so by choice," Ilene said with a grin.

"Perhaps not, but I think you like being pretty at least a little bit. Whereas I have no such interest."

"Well, you are very pretty without trying."

Adith raised her eyebrows and her mug, taking a longer sip than she intended while she tried to hide her surprise. 'Pretty' wasn't a word she heard applied to herself very often, and certainly not by someone like Ilene. After several seconds had passed she lowered the mug, making a face she hoped would cover any suspicion. "You were right - that is strong."

"Good though, am I right?"

"Yes, quite."

 

It wasn't long before Meri arrived with their dinner which, to Adith's surprise, included cuts of meat from the nobles' table for both of them. After an initial moment's hesitation she helped herself, not wanting to seem rude and secretly enjoying the luxury. Ilene refilled both their mugs before they began to eat, so although the guard was nowhere near intoxicated by the end of the meal she was pleasantly mellow, not to mention full of excellent food.

As usual, they stacked their dishes neatly, and Ilene beckoned Adith over to the seats by the fire once more. They settled into the chairs, much more relaxed now; Adith leaned forward to poke at the fire, more for something to do than because she was in any way cold.

Ilene seemed a little at a loss now for something to do - Adith had seen her occupy herself for hours at a time during the day and evening when she was standing guard, but most of her passtimes were rather solitary, whether she was lettering, painting, carving or whatever else.

"I would enjoy hearing some music played," the guard suggested after a few minute's silence, in which the fire crackled and popped. "If you would like to."

"I can if you like." Ilene paused, then added, "I had been thinking that I would like you to tell me more about yourself, but I don't know what to ask - I don't know what would be too personal to you. I don't want to invade your privacy."

Sitting back, Adith tipped her head to one side and cast her eyes towards the ceiling, considering this. There was really only one subject upon which she didn't want to touch - was Ilene curious about Natia? Would she ask about her? If she did, what would Adith say? "I'm not sure if there is anything of interest left to tell about myself," she said, half-truthfully. "But you are welcome to ask, if you desire."

"I was just wondering about... your life. I know you grew up at least partly in the keep, but I don't know about your mother, or the things you enjoy do to outside of your work, or..." Ilene shrugged. "Anything. I know so little about you."

"Oh, well..." The guard thought for a moment, then decided to start with the easiest question. "My mother was an leatherworker - that was how she met my father. It was an unusual trade for a woman, I know, but she excelled in it, and it was commonly agreed that she was one of the best for detailed work in the whole barony. She was employed by the Lord of [some other place, I can't remember names right now] while she was still quite young, where my father was serving on the guard. She made him a scabbard when his was 'accidentally' damaged by a fire."

The younger woman smirked slightly at the story. "So you grew up entirely in keeps and castles then?"

"Yes, never anywhere else."

"The same as myself, then."

"Mm. I did not travel between them nearly so often when I was young, though. Once we arrived here we didn't leave."

Ilene rolled her eyes. "I could have done without all the travelling I did. When my mother was alive she would not spend three months together in one place, and she would not be parted from us - we were forever moving between here, Deerforth and the Borderskeep."

"I was envious," Adith admitted with a smile. "It seemed very exciting to me them, the idea of seeing so many new places. I can understand now how taxing it must have been for you."

"They all become different variations on the same theme eventually - you grow tired of it. I liked it when I got a little older, though, and could convince my father to take me with him when he went out to the farther reaches, though. Visiting other keeps and seeing other landscapes. We even went to the Southlands once, when I was ten or eleven years of age... but I suppose you'll know the story of what happened on that occasion - your father was with us I think."

"Yes, I remember." Adith had been a teenager then and had just started her training - the story of the dramatic duel in the crowded Main Hall had been enough to fire her imagination for weeks.

"Back in the days when relations between us and Southlanders were a little more cordial. How things change, eh?"

"It seems a shame, but your father is handling things well. I am sure this too will pass, if perhaps not as soon as we would like."

"And not before I spent a few months rotting away in another man's keep, if we're to believe the rumours," Ilene said, an amused twinkle in her eye.

"Pardon?"

Ilene raised her eyebrows. "You didn't think it would stay secret for long why I was here under such strict guard, did you?"

"No," Adith said with a shake of her head. "I suppose I didn't think much about what was being said at all." That was Parry's concern, and, to a lesser extent, Merik's.

"Well, I don't think it's reached the stable hands yet, and I haven't heard Melith's name, but it's certainly no secret that someone has plans." Ilene shrugged. "In some ways it's better. However many enemy spies might be listening in, there are bound to be far more who are loyal to my father who'll now be on the look out."

"I would not worry, m'lady. You are well-protected here."

There was no mistaking the fondness in her tone as she agreed. "I know."

Flushing, Adith glanced away and smoothed her hands over her thighs. "Have you satisfied your curiosity about my unexciting life, then?"

"Not even nearly I'm afraid. Why don't you start at the beginning and just tell me everything?"

The guard turned back, unsure if the other woman was being serious or not. She couldn't quite believe Ilene's intense interest in her history, and didn't want to make a fool of herself if she was just being polite.

Ilene only smiled encouragingly. "What the first thing you remember?" she prompted. "Properly, the first fixed point in time - not just crying or eating or what-have-you."

"The first thing I remember?" Adith frowned; she had never before contemplated this particular question. "I suppose... I remember my father sitting in front of the fire, oiling his sword and laughing," she said thoughtfully.

"What was he laughing about?"

"I'm not sure... perhaps something my mother had told him? They would often talk of an evening, before we ate."

"Did they laugh a lot then, your parents? They were happy together?"

Adith gave a small smile. "Yes, very."

"That doesn't surprise me."

"No?"

Ilene shook her head. "You're such a calm soul. It makes good sense to me that you had a peaceful upbringing."

"And then went on to learn how to kill people."

"But calmly!"

The guard snorted and rolled her eyes. "Mm."

"Hoy!" Ilene scowled comically. "Don't dismiss my opinion like that. Although," she added with the beginning of a smirk, leaning a little closer, "you look a lot less tough without your sword..."

"I'll assume that wasn't meant as an insult..."

"Only that it's interesting to see you looking more... vulnerable."

Adith glanced down at herself, her hand automatically going to her side. "Perhaps I shouldn't have left my sword behind."

The other woman shook her head, leaning forward to place her hand over Adith's. "I don't think you'll need it."

"Let's hope not."

The moment stretched out, and Ilene's smile grew slightly hesitant as she seemed to realise how close the two woman were, leaning over Adith as she was. Unsure of how to break the tension, the guard cleared her throat loudly. "Perhaps some music now would be nice..."

Ilene raised her eyebrows, but moved her hand away from Adith's hip and sat back. "I don't really feel like playing. Do you mind if I just sing?"

"No, not at all. Please do."

Ilene straightened a little, and turned her smooth, sweet voice to the first tune that came to mind.

Why should thy cheek be pale,
Shaded with sorrow's veil?
Why should'st thou grieve me?
I will never, never leave thee.
'Mid my deepest sadness,
'Mid my gayest gladness,
I am thine, believe me;
I will never, never leave thee...

Adith smiled sadly, folding her hands in her lap as she leaned back in her seat. She was enjoying her evening with Ilene, even if it was fraught with occasional moments of awkwardness - that was only to be expected, after all. Despite Ilene's talk of putting their stations aside there really was no way to forget them, as even reminiscing about their childhood memories reinforced the divide.

Ilene herself now had her gaze fixed on the fireplace, her voice quiet and clear in the still room, the only other sound the occasional pop or crackle from the fire. When she finished the song neither one could stand to break to mood; instead Adith merely shifted slightly closer and lifted a hand to place it on the other woman's arm.

A sigh escaped the other woman's throat and she shivered a little, sitting back. It was a long moment before she turned to look over at Adith, her eyes unusually dark, though it could have been the dim light of the room.

"That was... lovely, my lady," Adith murmured.

"I... thank you." Ilene's voice sounded strangely hoarse.

"The evening grows late... perhaps I should go."

"If you must."

"I must get some sleep before my shift tomorrow..."

Ilene nodded, though she didn't pull away. "Of course. I suppose I should get to bed myself. Tomorrow night we won't get so much. Do you want to go down to the shore?"

"You would like to continue the outings, even though Merik may be watching us?"

"I don't think he can be actually following us out of the keep. He's not a good rider; we'd have seen or heard him." Ilene frowned slightly. "Unless... you'd rather not."

"That is not what I said," Adith said, shaking her head. "Of course I would like to."

"Then I would too."

 

As per both women's wishes the nighttime rides continued; this coupled with the fact that she was now spending most of her free evenings with Ilene meant her isolation from the rest of the guards grew. She still made time for training, though, visiting the yard as often as she could and picking up the blunted practice sword to wield against anyone who would pair with her.

Having said not more than two words to him even as he continued to be one of the main guards on the staff protecting Ilene, she was a little surprised, to say the least, on the afternoon when Cale entered the training ring, his own practice sword already in hand.

Eyebrows raised, she nodded to him, wondering about his intentions. It wasn't that he had been avoiding her, exactly, but it was hard to miss the very intentional silence between them where before there had been friendly jests and laughter. Anth was quite strict about avoiding grudge-fueled matches in the yard and she hoped that this encounter would not gain her any reprimands with regard to intentions.

Cale was not a man prone to idle quarrelling or bad temper, however, and it was with every ounce of his usual care and consideration that he circled, sword at the ready. Though Cale had not been at the keep as long as some of the other guards, Adith had practiced with him hundreds of times and knew his strengths and weaknesses as well as her own. He was not a risk-taker, preferring to hold his defense until his opponent left an opening he could then take advantage of. Adith knew she could in turn take advantage of this.

The first blow came from Adith, and was parried effortlessly by Cale. This done, the pair went to work, their fighting controlled and restrained, Adith matching carefully to Cale's style, keeping herself reined in. The other guard wore a composed, serious expression, watching Adith carefully and conserving his movements and attacks. She responded in kind, and the minutes ticked past without a single inch given either way.

"Shall we call it a draw?" Cale asked eventually, as the two began to tire (though they had been going for some time and now had a small audience).

"I don't like draws," Adith responded with a shake of her head, still circling.

"We could be here for some time..."

"I suppose we might." Then, lightning-quick, Adith lunged, pressing the attack against her startled opponent. Cale caught up, but too slow, and Adith was inside his guard, battering aside the sword he raised against her and then raising her own to his throat. "Do you yield?"

Cale's reply was quiet enough that only Adith would hear it. "Do you love her?"

She stared at him, equally startled now, her sword wavering where she held it in the air. "What?"

The other man didn't blink. "Are you falling in love with her?"

The look Adith gave him was a mixture of terror and realization, and she dropped her sword suddenly to her side and stepped back. "Call it a draw," she ground out before turning to flee the yard back to her room.

 

"You know, you're technically not supposed to run away from a draw."

Though its owner only lived up a flight of stairs, the voice was about the last that Adith expected to hear right then, and she started slightly. Ilene was leaning in the open doorway, arms folded, her expression one of innocent enquiry on the surface, although there was clearly a mind hard at work beneath.

"My lady." Adith had just realized that in her haste to leave the practice yard she had forgotten to relinquish her sword; she couldn't face going back there now, but she had to do something with it. Rather than push past Ilene into her room she stopped, trying to hide the weapon as best she could against her leg. "I suppose that was not technically within the rules, no," she managed.

"And since you still have that..." Ilene said, smirking slightly and nodding towards the blade, "could he not according to the rules come and find you? This doesn't seem like the best relocation, tactically speaking."

"I do not think Cale will follow me."

"No, I think not." Ilene tipped her head to one side slightly, her expression almost expectant.

For once Adith didn't wait to hear what the other woman was thinking, merely taking a step nearer the door. "My lady, if you will excuse m-"

"What did he say?" Ilene asked, stepping away from the doorway herself to come face to face with Adith. "What did Cale say that made you run away like that?"

"He... it is a private matter," Adith said, her cheeks flushed both from her run up the stairs as well as her embarrassment.

The other woman's eyebrows furrowed. "I had not thought..." she trailed off, her expression unreadable. "I see."

"I am feeling ill," the guard muttered, only half-lying and less so by the second. She reeled slightly where she stood. "Please, I need to lie down."

Ilene seemed to forget her troubled mind immediately, moving instead to take Adith's arm and pull her away from the stairs behind her. "Of course, I'm sorry." She stepped back, guiding Adith's with her, her attention suddenly entirely focussed on getting the guard into her room where previously she had been a determined obstacle. Numbly Adith allowed her to guide her towards the bed, her legs giving way as soon as the mattress was beneath her. She let go of the practice sword, hearing it clatter to the floor and wincing slightly.

"What's wrong?" Ilene sat down by her, hand coming to rest on her back, leaning round to look at her, eyes searching her face for signs of illness.

"I... just need to lie down for a moment." Ilene nodded, standing and turning to sit on the chair by Adith's bed.

"Do you need me to go?"

"No..." Closing her eyes, Adith lay down on top of the blankets, resting her head on her arms. She wanted to shut out everything - Cale's words, the panic she had felt at hearing them - but even with her thoughts thus occupied she couldn't ignore the familiar, warm scent of Ilene, which lingered near her even after the other woman had moved to the chair. "Gods," she sighed. She felt movement in the air in front of her, and a moment later a cool hand pressed to her cheek, thumb smoothing lightly across her skin.

Instead of moving away, as she knew she should have done, Adith instead leaned into the touch, her breathing growing somewhat ragged and shaky. How could it be that the one person who was the source of all her current frustration and worry could also be the cure for it? She heard Ilene sigh, although it was impossible to discern its tone with her eyes closed. When she spoke, her tone carried a mix of emotions, topmost of which seemed to be confusion and something that seemed almost like disappointment. "I hadn't realised that you and Cale... I hadn't realised."

Adith opened her eyes, looking almost as confused as Ilene sounded. "Pardon? I'm not sure what you mean, my lady."

Ilene moved her hand away as Adith opened her eyes, as though being seen made the action unacceptable. She rested the tips of her fingers on the edge of the bed as though she needed to remain in contact with it, however small. "Well, you say it's a private matter, I assume you two..."

It would be easy to allow Ilene to continue to think that she and Cale were 'involved' - however untrue it was, it would at least force some distance between them and allow Adith to regain some control over her circumstances, control which she desperately needed if she was to stop this wild careering between denial and willful ignorance. She wouldn't even need to confirm it, only continue the vague act of secrecy she had already begun.

"Oh. I see."

"Don't worry. I won't say anything. I know that those connections are somewhat frowned upon." Ilene's voice was flat now, and she returned her hand to her lap. "Would you like me to ask Meri to fetch some water?"

Adith suddenly felt her stomach twist, though not from any illness-borne nausea. "No, I just... need to rest."

"All right. Well. I'd better return to my room. I told Hobb to wait there but he wasn't happy about it."

"You don't have to leave," Adith said pitifully, hating herself even as she said the words. Hadn't she intended to drive Ilene away with her lie? And now that she had done so, she couldn't bear to let her go. "If you wanted to stay..."

Ilene was already standing, however, looking anywhere but Adith's face as she shook her head. "No, I'd better go," she said, turning and, without anything approaching her usual cordiality and politeness, leaving without another word, the sound of her footsteps indicating that she was almost running back up the staircase to her chamber.

Curled on the bed, Adith squeezed her eyelids together again, trying to quell the rising flood of tears in her eyes. Knowing there was a chance the people in the room above might hear any noises she made she sobbed silently, shoulders shaking with the force of it. Though she knew it was better this way - proper and far less dangerous for both her and Ilene - the though did nothing to fill the emptiness within her. Eventually she fell into a fitful sleep, tossing and turning as her dreams were haunted not just by the sights of battle and the smell of death, but also by the sound of Ilene's voice - flat, disappointed and entirely without the warmth that Adith had grown to need.

 

"So will it be strange, do you think? Going back to sleeping in the barracks with the other guards instead of sharing a room with me at Nidun's keep?" Natia smiled a little to show she was teasing, adding, "I think my room back at Norstead will seem very quiet without your incessant snoring..."

"I do not snore," Adith insisted, though she was grinning as she said it. Her expression sobered slightly after, however, and she paused before continuing. "And yes, it will be strange. I am glad not to be given different treatment merely because I am a woman, but all the same... I did enjoy sharing your room." She looked over shyly at the other woman, raising her eyebrows. "Do you agree?"

Natia didn't look over, her eyes trained on the path in front of her horse. She did smile, however, and give a small nod. "It was nice to have company for a while, yes."

"But you're glad to be going back to your own room, by yourself," Adith finished for her.

"I didn't say that," Natia answered. Though she didn't say otherwise either.

Slightly cowed, Adith stayed quiet for some time, only speaking up when she had worked up the nerve. "I have learned a great deal from you over the past few months. Thank you."

Natia nodded again. "You're a good pupil."

"That's very kind of you to say," the younger woman replied, hoping for a bit more praise drom the woman she had come to think of as a mentor.

"Nothing more than the truth." Natia seemed disinclined to be drawn on further on the topic.

"I suppose when we return to the keep I will be back under Anth's watch and you will be rid of me."

Natia did look over then, sharply, a frown flickering over her features. "Are you angling for praise? You know very well that I need not be 'rid of you'. I had thought we were friends. Was I wrong? Why this sudden deference?"

"I'm sorry," Adith apologized, blushing. "I suppose I am only trying to ready myself for when things change. I would not want to embarrass myself. Or you."

The other woman reined in her horse, halting, and Adith did the same before she'd even thought about it, coming to a stop next to the other woman. Now Natia had turned a little toward Adith, and was finally giving her her full attention, though her expression was intense enough that Adith was suddenly not sure whether or not this was a good thing. "Listen to me, Adith. You embarrass yourself only through your lack of faith in yourself. Before we went out to Nidun's keep there were few folk with whom I would rather pass the time than you. I did not put your name forward and take you there to join his personal guard with me only because you asked. Have I done anything in our time at the keep to make you think I would want rid of you? Anything that would make you think that things would be different on our return to Norstead?"

"No, but..."

"Then why? Why would you think that you need to prepare yourself for some spontaneous cooling in my affection for you?"

"Because I don't know when my luck might run out and you might realize you have better things to do than associate with the likes of me," Adith said candidly, shrugging. "Especially sometimes when I catch you staring at me and I can't tell what you're thinking. like you're wondering why you keep me around at all."

Natia's mouth flattened to a line. "That's not what I'm thinking."

"Well, I can't tell otherwise. You're hard to read."

The redhead said nothing for a long moment - her face was blank, but Adith had learned enough to know that this meant that Natia was considering her next words. Eventually she said, "I'm not wondering why I keep you around. I'm wondering what I ever did without you."

 

Life went on as usual after the duel, except that once again, everything had changed. Adith found that Ilene had little interest in their evenings together anymore, and even their nighttime rides grew fewer and farther between. The other woman seemed withdrawn, rarely engaged her in conversation and, when she did, was stilted and as close as Ilene ever got to uncomfortable. It was heartbreaking, though Adith knew she had invited it upon herself.

Without Ilene's company to cheer her, the guard fell back int her old routines - eating in the mess, practicing every day, and waking from nightmares almost every night. It was a late spring night some weeks later when she awoke from one of these nightmares, sweat beading on her forehead, tears on her cheeks, to find a slight figure sitting by her bed, watching over her in silence. The figure moved as soon as she saw that Adith was awake, leaning forward and reaching for a cup of water - one that she must have brought with her as Adith had had none in her room that night, and it was as she leant forward that Adith made out her light, wavy hair and simple dress, and realised who it was.

"You should drink something," Meri said quietly. "You'll be hoarse."

"Thank you," Adith murmured, reaching for the cup and then drinking deeply from it. She frowned then, and then sat up to face the young woman properly. "Do I wake you? I forget that you're only through the wall..."

"Not always."

Adith's frown deepened. "I ought to move back to the barracks. Although I doubt they want me back there either."

Meri shook her head, frowning a little. "You're wanted here." Then added, "I think you know that."

"I'm not sure any more. Not that it matters - I will still do my duty."

The servant simply nodded, reaching to cup a hand over Adith's around her water, lifting slightly to indicate that she should drink more.

She did, grateful for the simple kindness the other woman paid her by coming here and offering her comfort. "Thank you," she said again.

"Would it help if I stayed a while?"

"I... don't think so. Don't you need to sleep too?"

Meri shrugged. "I don't need much."

Adith wasn't sure what to say to this, and in the end she just put the cup down by the bed and tried to settle once more, closing her eyes. She imagined could feel the maid's presence in the chair still, somehow - certainly she could hear her breathing, soft and steady. Oddly, it did help, and after a while matching Meri's breath lulled her back off into a light slumber.

She was not surprised to find herself alone when she woke, the chair long-since cold and empty, but there was no doubt she was better slept than she had been in some nights. It occurred to her to wonder why the young woman would show such kindness to a near stranger, but soon enough she was washed, dressed and on duty, and from there, as usual, she had little space for any thought that wasn't about Ilene.

 

Ilene was, as usual, still in bed when Adith arrived at her chamber. She still stood guard from within the door, but they no longer made conversation to pass the time, Ilene instead occupying herself with one of her various hobbies, or having Adith accompany her to visit the chambers of one of her friends or relations. This was more like what Adith had first expected from the noblewoman ; if she didn't think too hard about it she could almost accept it as normal - except, of course, that there was almost nothing that could stop her thinking about it almost constantly. Ilene for her own part made little effort to pretend that she was not in the best of spirits, though she gave no opportunity for discussion of her mood, had Adith wanted one.

By the end of her shift Adith's own mood was low, though it was buoyed somewhat when Meri came in to tidy the chamber, exchanging a few polite words and a smile with the guard before going about her duties. It was a relief to have an acquaintance who did not share any awkwardness or tension and who seemed perfectly happy not to pursue any hidden agenda.

Adith was relieved by Cale, who, as usual, only glanced at her and nodded in greeting as they passed at the door. She knew that their quarrel had been nowhere near serious enough to warrant their continued coolness, but for the fact that she could not talk to him again without addressing the last thing he had said to her. After departing she descended the stairs, at a loss for what to do with her afternoon. Normally before a nighttime shift she would attempt to rest, but she felt almost energetic, and knew sleep would never come.

So it was she found herself out on the glen on her horse. The day was clear and quite warm for the time of year; Adith bundled her cloak behind her saddle and enjoyed the feel of the sunshine on her bare arms as she cantered up a small rise. She had brought a small meal with her and looked forward to finding a place to eat it where she could watch the sun sparkling on the sea. It wasn't long before the keep was out of sight over a rise of the glen, and she could pretend that it didn't exist at all if she wanted.

Adith dismounted, unsaddling her horse and letting it wander a bit before it settled down, cropping the new grass carpeting the knoll. She spread her cloak out and sat down, circling her knees with her arms. Her first thought was regret that Ilene was not there to share the afternoon with her - she immediately tried to push it aside, with little success.

Her food was welcome after her ride, as was the flask of water she'd brought. She has a nice view of the town and bay at the edge of the glen, the sea sparkling in the afternoon sun. Eventually she lay down, to take advantage of the sun's last rays as it began to sink. She closed her eyes, listening to the sound of the rustling grasses all around her.

 

"Just forget him, Adith. Look around you, at all this. We're miles from the keep, miles from anywhere. How can you let what some snivelling half-wit assassin says get to you like this?"

"Because!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in frustration. "Because he's so smug, and self-assured, and... and..."

"Hoy..." Natia caught her hands, grinning as she wrapped her fingers around Adith's and shaking her head. "You're just going to have to learn forebearance," she said. "Believe me, Merik is just practice for genuinely irritating people." She smiled fondly at the other woman, and the two were silent for a long moment, gazes locked, before the older woman cleared her throat and let go of Adith's hands, sitting back onto her heels again and reaching once more for her water flask.

"We can't all have mountains of patience like some people," Adith grumbled, making a face as she plucked several long strands of grass from a spot next to her knee and began plaiting them together.

"You'll learn."

Adith merely rolled her eyes, leaning forward to tuck the plait of grass behind Natia's ear where it sat jauntily, the green dancing among her red curls like spring. "Actually..." the younger woman said, surveying the effect for a moment and then turning to busily pull more stalks from the ground.

"Hm?" Natia looked round, surveying Adith's actions with mild curiosity.

"I used to do this when I was young... I forgot about it until now. Funny what your fingers remember when even your mind forgets, eh?"

Natia didn't protest (but for a tolerant sigh), turning and leaning back against Adith's legs as the other woman plaited the long green stalks into her hair. The younger woman hummed happily, running her fingers through Natia's curls and occasionally stopping to tickle her nose or ear with one of the strands.

 

"We should get back."

Adith rolled onto her side, looking up at Natia with large, pleading eyes. "We can't go yet - I want to see the sun set."

"It's getting chilly, we can't sit still much longer..."

"We'll stay warm somehow." Pushing herself up, Adith gathered the cloak she had been lying on and scooted closer, draping it around Natia's shoulders and then her own. She tugged on it until it covered both of them, more or less, and then turned to grin at the other woman. "There. Warm?"

Natia's smile was a little hesitant. "I suppose so," she murmured, her eyes straying, as they often did when Adith talked, and indeed when Adith didn't talk, between her eyes and her lips. The younger woman, in the meantime, was entranced by the vibrant color of Natia's hair in the waning sunlight, and reached up to touch it tentatively with her fingers.

"I've never met anyone else who looks like you..."

The other woman cleared her throat before speaking. "From the west?"

"Your hair is glowing. It's beautiful."

Natia unconsciously moistened her lower lip with her tongue. "We should get back."

"Are you still cold?" Adith moved closer yet, slipping her free hand around the other woman's waist and leaning in to rest her chin on her shoulder.

Natia did shiver, but she shook her head. "No. I'm not cold."

"Good. Just a few more minutes until the sun's down."

 

It was dark by the time Adith was making her way back to the keep, at least somewhat refreshed, for her evening's watch. She climbed the stairs to Ilene's room and stopped in front of Cale, who eyed her somewhat warily.

"Cale, I... must apologize. I have let this go on too long," she said, pitching her voice low so that it would not carry through the door to the room within.

Cale observed her solemnly, clenching his jaw slightly, but his expression soon softened somewhat, and he nodded. "I was worried," he replied, his voice just as hushed. "I still am."

"You should not be. I have addressed the... issue," she said, swallowing heavily and casting her eyes to the floor momentarily. "And it is not a cause for concern anymore."

Cale simply raised his eyebrows doubtfully. "Very well."

"Please," Adith pleaded intensely, if still in a subdued tone. "I ask you to trust me, Cale. As I trust you."

"I do trust you," Cale said, shaking his head, "that's not it. Adith, I only ever told you to be careful. I didn't mean to imply that you should make yourself - and the lady Ilene - so unhappy."

"Unhappy?" The guard frowned. "Ilene may be upset with me, but that does not mean she is unhappy..."

"She's unhappy, Adith."

"Oh."

"Are you sure that the particular course of action you have taken is the best?"

"I thought it was," Adith said, sounding pained. "Whatever joy she might derive from my companionship, there are others out there who can offer better... and without the danger of letting themselves be hurt in the process." This was the closest she had come to admitting that Cale had the right of the matter with his questions, but she refused to look guilty about it.

"Well, the latter of those is certainly true. As to the former, only you and she can ascertain the extent to which that is the case."

"I am afraid that discussing it may reveal too much of my own sentiment on the subject," she admitted. "Which may in turn lead to consequences I cannot face."

Cale's brow furrowed, and he nodded thoughtfully. "It's a bind, all right," he said, pursing his lips, suddenly unable to meet Adith's eyes. Whatever his loyalties, he certainly seemed less than comfortable about Adith's 'sentiment'.

"Thank you for your advice, Cale," she told the man then, not wanting to delve any further into an area neither of them wanted to discuss. "And I am sorry for making you feel it was unwelcome. I should not have done that."

"I would see you happier, Adith. I thought... well. It seemed that if something would make you happy, you should not make it so difficult for yourself, whatever the potential cost." Cale shrugged lightly, and moved away from his station by the door.

Nodding thoughtfully, Adith shifted in front of the door, then knocked thrice, hoping Ilene would at least invite her into the room so that they might talk.

"It's open."

Ilene was at her table as Adith entered, one of her books on a stand before her as she squinted at her work.

"M'lady," Adith greeted her, stepping a bit closer to the table than she normally did when she was standing guard. "I hope you are well."

"Mhm." The other woman didn't look up at first, but then her hand stilled as she seemed to sense a slight difference in Adith's tone compared to her usual demeanor of late, and she laid her quill down and looked over at the other woman.

"I was hoping you might have a moment to spare from your studies so that we might speak."

Ilene hesitated. But she nodded, and pushed her chair away from the table, nodding towards the seats by the fire, which had long since been moved back to either side of the hearth instead of close together as they had been.

Adith waited until they had both settled into their chairs before clearing her throat and speaking. "M'lady... Ilene. I feel I must apologize for a great many things, and I hope you will find it within you to accept them. I have not been a good friend for some time now, and I would like to amend that." The other woman nodded slowly, her eyes mostly fixed on the fire, though they strayed occasionally in Adith's direction. Still she said nothing.

"I have allowed you to believe something which is untrue, and that is akin to a lie. And friends do not lie to one another." Already her heart was beating faster, but Adith kept her voice steady. "Cale and I are not together - we are only friends, and even that has been questionable as of late." Ilene didn't react quite as Adith expected. She only sighed, and pushed off her chair, retrieving a poker and prodding the contents of the fireplace.

"I know that," she said.

"Oh." Adith blinked. "I am sorry for that deception, m'lady. I am not proud of it."

"I see." Eventually Ilene sat back down, letting the silence stretch out to an almost excruciating degree before finally speaking again. "I just wish I knew why you would let me think that. What possible purpose could it serve?"

"I sought to push you away - though it hurt me to do so. I was afraid that, despite all our words of caution, I was finding it harder and harder to think of you as just my charge."

Ilene frowned. "Well, since you succeeded I'm not sure why it is we're talking now."

"Because I regret that choice, and wish to reverse it - if I can." Adith bit her lip, fingers clenched nervously on the pommel of her sword. "I am sorry, Ilene... truly, I am. Can you forgive me?"

At first she had no answer, though Ilene was finally gazing right at her. Eventually, she gave a slight nod.

Adith's stomach dipped, and for a moment she felt light-headed with relief. "Thank the gods," she murmured, still sitting rigidly in her chair.

"Although I still don't really understand," Ilene said quietly. "But I could never refuse you anything that would allow us to become more what we were."

Though Ilene had not asked outright for an explanation, Adith still felt she owed her one. She didn't know exactly what to say, though; to cover her hesitation stood, pacing a few steps in front of the hearth and then kneeling in front of the other woman's chair. "I am sorry," she said for what felt like the dozenth time. "I know this makes little sense to you. It's only... the last time I had a friend I cared this much about, I lost her. The thought of losing you scares me more than anything I can imagine."

The young woman's frown of confusion deepened. "You seem to be unsure from moment to moment whether it's losing me you're worried about, or your position."

"Perhaps I am unsure. Because it seems to me I can have one or the other - and what would I do, if I was not a guard? There is nothing else for me but this."

"You know very well you could be anything. You also know that you will not be guarding me personally forever."

"Yes, I know. Which means my reason for spending so much time with you - or any time at all - will end," Adith said with a sigh.

"Would you like to know what I think?"

"Yes, of course."

"I think you worry too much about things you cannot change, and allow them to push you to actions that decreasing your happiness in the short term that you cannot know will actually increase it in the long term."

To her surprise, Adith found herself nodding in agreement. "I think you are right," she said quietly but firmly, placing a light hand on Ilene's knee. "And I would like to stop, and be happy now."

Ilene stared down at the guard, apparently somewhat lost for her words. Her expression had softened a little, even the beginnings of a tentative smile beginning to tug at her lips. "Do you think we could do that?"

"If you will give me yet another chance, I do."

"You will never run out of chances with me."

 

Suddenly, things were good again. While there was still an unspoken current of uncertainty between them, Adith and Ilene settled back into the routine they had forged before, spending much of their free time together, either in the guise of noblewoman and bodyguard, or merely friends. Whatever worries Adith had she pushed them to the back of her mind, focusing on enjoying the time she spent with Ilene and making sure the other woman was content and happy.

For her own part Ilene wasn't quite back to normal. Her behaviour around her friends was as it always had been, but when she and Adith were alone together she seemed slightly more subdued - there was no question that she was happy and enjoyed their time together, but she was just a shade more tentative about their interactions, a little unsure at times what reponse to expect from Adith.

 

The guard made her way from Ilene's rooms one evening, heading at a brisk pace towards Lord Garas's meeting chamber. Her visits to the laird had become fewer and farther between as things settled and there was little to be heard from afield, but on this particular occasion he had sent orders for her to come straightaway as soon as her shift had finished.

When she reached his chamber, Garas was alone at his table, his parchments and books spread out on before him as was usual after dinner. He looked up as Adith entered, a pensive expression on his face. "Tarn. Please, sit down."

Adith did so, wondering what exactly was on his mind. Usually her briefings were conducted standing and she was dismissed as soon as they finished; obviously this was to be a more extended meeting.

"I have here a message from Lord Valir. He requests hospitality for himself and a small contingent very shortly," the laird said, gesturing to a scroll sitting at his left hand. Adith knew of Valir - a young laird with a small but well-defended keep whose charismatic personality and honest nature had won him a seat on the council along with Garas, Melith and the others. He was not as powerful as some of the other lairds, but she knew that with time that could easily change, especially with the rumors of a power struggle swirling in their midst.

"I see. Does my lord wish to reassign me to his detail?" Adith asked, somewhat curiously.

"No, no... no, you are to stay as you are." Garas shook his head, looking down once again at the scroll and frowning slightly.

"Very well." The guard stayed silent; she didn't know why Garas had summoned her if it was not to shift her duties.

The laird seemed to forget she was there for a moment, merely pondering the message before finally pushing it aside with one hand. "He wishes to court Ilene. He states his intentions quite clearly here. Obviously he intends to ally himself with me against Melith, and hopes to win her hand to ensure the alliance." Adith blanched - she hadn't given any thought to the fact that Ilene might still be used to resolve the conflict, if in a slightly different way.

"Does my lord intend to allow this?" she asked, in a slightly unsteady voice.

The furrow in Garas's brow deepened slightly. "I will not influence my daughter in a choice such as this. I would not see her unhappy." He cleared his throat. "However, Valir is a good man, and I have no reservations about his suitability or character. They will no doubt spend some time in one another's company during his visit, and I will not discourage him from courting her attention. If she should decide that she is fond of him, I will not stand in the way."

"Yes, of course." Frantically Adith wondered if she should warn Ilene of this development - and just as frantically worried that she might not mind. It did not sound as if Garas was forcing her into any path, but a young, interesting, attractive (Adith feared) man breaking the monotony of her days might be just what the noblewoman wished for. The thought was upsetting, to say the least.

"I am not going to ask you to attempt to influence Ilene in any way on this matter - indeed, knowing my daughter I would heavily counsel against it," Garas went on. "But if you could observe the progress or otherwise of this and keep me informed as to my daughter's wishes, as far as you know them, it would be potentially useful to me." He cleared his throat. "I will, however, understand if you would consider this a confidence that you would not want to break with her."

"My duty is with you, my lord," Adith mumbled, barely hearing Garas's words through the pounding in her ears.

"And it's an important part of that duty that my daughter trust you." Garas pursed his lips, looking back to the document he had been perusing on her entrance. "I'm sure you'll find a balance."

She knew this was her cue to leave, and she pushed back her chair and stood, heading for the door. Her steps led her down to the guardroom, where she managed to navigate her way to a table with a bowl of stew without even thinking about it. Cale slid onto the bench opposite her a few minutes later with his own meal. "How was your meeting? Sounded urgent."

Adith glanced up, then shook her head. "Oh, um. No, it wasn't, really."

"I see. Well, I suppose no news is good news?"

"We're to have visitors."

"Oh yes?" Cale brightened a little. He enjoyed meeting new people. "I hadn't heard."

"Valir and some of his lackeys," Adith said, rolling her eyes. "They'll be here shortly."

"Oh, excellent. My cousin Gunn is one of his personal guard, it will be good to see him again."

"Mm."

Cale leaned forward slightly to look more closely at Adith. "Are you all right?"

She mustered a smile, though it looked a little forced even to him. "I'm fine. It will just be a lot of work, having another contingent of visitors and guards here."

"I see." The pair ate in silence for some time. Eventually Cale commented, "I note that the two of you are once more riding out at night."

"Yes. Ilene requested we continue our rides."

"That's... Well, as long as you're happier."

Adith raised an eyebrow. "We only ride, Cale. And talk. There's... nothing else to it."

Cale shook his head slightly in a clear indication that he wanted to hear nothing about her time with Ilene, flattening his mouth to a line. Adith sighed and looked back to her food, though she had nearly finished her meal. She was glad that Cale was at least speaking to her now, but wished they could have back some of the old banter and ease that had once characterized their conversations.

"So why is it important that you know Valir is visiting? He's loyal, is he not? I would have thought that he's the very last visitor one would have to worry about."

"I do not think Lord Garas is worried about any danger, no," Adith replied with a shake of her head. "Although Valir and Ilene will be spending time together, it seems."

Cale raised his eyebrows. "I didn't know they were friendly."

"I don't know if they are. But it is Valir's wish that they become so."

"Ah. I see."

"Ilene is a particular person. Perhaps she will not take to him," Adith said, more to reassure herself than anything else. "Perhaps his entire visit will be in vain."

"Well, you know her better than I."

 

"You seem a little distracted tonight."

As if proving Ilene's point, Adith looked over belatedly, having been deep in thought and unaware of her surroundings or how silent she had become. "Oh?" she asked lightly, guiding her horse slightly closer to the noblewoman's.

"You haven't even really been watching where we were going," Ilene observed, shooting Adith that curious, tentative smile she had such often cause to use these days.

"I trust you've been leading us somewhere suitable..."

"Your trust is admirable," the other woman teased. But she shook her head. "I thought we might go to the glade. Although if you'd rather not..."

"It will mean a late night," Adith mused. "Are you well-rested?"

"Not particularly, but I'll manage. You know me."

"Well, then, I will take the lead."

"Please."

 

It was over an hour later that they finally emerged from the thicket into the open glade; the greenery had only grown since the last time they visited, though it was a waning moon up above and the carpet of flowers was more difficult to see. Ilene dismounted and wandered to the centre of the clearing, breathing in deeply, turning to look back at Adith with a contented smile. The guard smiled back, unloading her pack and hefting it over her shoulder before approaching the other woman.

"Something to drink, my lady?"

"Thank you, yes." Ilene began to lay out her cloak.

Together they knelt on the ground, and Adith removed her canteen and two mugs from the pack, pouring them both a generous helping of spiced wine. She had brought quite a bit of food along, not because she was overly hungry, but the pickings had been good in the kitchen tonight and it seemed a shame to waste it.

Ilene however seemed delighted by the amount of food on offer, and tucked in hungrily, clearly having gained an appetite from her ride. Adith merely snacked on dried fruit, refilling their mugs whenever the level dropped too low. Soon the pair were sated to their respective requirements, and had put away the remnants of the food. Ilene lay back on her spread cloak, pulling the edge of it around over her legs, and closing her eyes with a sigh.

"If you fall asleep I am tying you to your horse and taking you home," Adith cautioned good-naturedly, grinning and leaning back onto her elbows.

"I won't," Ilene assured her, smiling without opening her eyes. "Though that wouldn't be so bad."

"You've never been tied to a horse, have you?"

"Have you?"

"...well, no. But it's certainly not something I'd imagine being comfortable."

"Ah well. I'm sure you'd take good care of me."

Adith leaned over the other woman slightly, peering down at her thoughtfully. "Why is it that your unerring trust in me only serves to make me more nervous that I might fail it?"

Ilene's smile widened slightly. "If I opened my eyes now, you'd be looking right at me, wouldn't you? Would you be smiling?"

"I would be now," came the response. Ilene immediately opened her eyes, gazing right back up into Adith's. The guard was indeed smiling fondly down at the other woman, her cheeks slightly flushed from the wine she had drunk and the sudden, strange sensation at being caught out.

"You know, in this light your eyes look black. But somehow I can still see the calm in them. And the kindness."

"Is that what you see when you look at me?" Adith asked curiously in spite of herself.

"Always. Sometimes other things too. But always that."

"I am not always calm, you know."

Ilene lifted a little to lean on her elbows, still looking up Adith, a little closer now - almost disquietingly so. "I suppose not, on the surface. But even at the most distressed I've seen you you always seemed to have that inner quiet. I can't explain it, really."

"Perhaps it is your influence," Adith ventured, tongue darting out to moisten her lips. "Perhaps you inspire a tranquility in me when you are around."

"Sometimes I think I get about as close as would be possible to doing the opposite."

"That is not your fault, you know that."

The younger woman smiled a little. "It's nice of you to pretend, but I know I cause you strain at times. I hope you know how much I appreciate the things you do for me."

"Please," Adith said, looking embarrassed now. She shook her head, though whether it was to dismiss Ilene's gratitude or discourage any further displays was unclear. "Are you warm enough?"

"Hm, almost. I'm all right."

The guard shifted, pulling her cloak from under herself and laying it across Ilene's legs. "Here, take this."

"What will you lie on? The grass is a little damp..."

"I'll be fine."

"I can move over..." Adith began to protest, but Ilene was already shifting over a little, making space on her own cloak for Adith to sit close beside her. Reluctantly she shifted as well, until their legs were touching from ankle to thigh, radiating heat between them.

"Thank you," she said, swallowing. Ilene was already shifting a little, turning onto her side and moving a little closer.

"Now I'm warm enough," she murmured, closing her eyes again.

If Adith had been feeling a little sleepy before, she certainly wasn't now - every nerve in her body was awake, broadcasting their awareness of the nearness of the other woman in a way she found entirely distracting, if not wholly unwelcome. "Good..."

"Would you like to lie down?" Ilene suggested, tugging lightly at Adith's jerkin where she still propped herself up on her elbow.

"No, that's...all right," Adith sighed, sinking down into the warm folds of the cloaks. Ilene sighed again, wriggling closer to resettle herself against the guard. She giggled slightly.

"I can feel your sword," she said, hands finding the weapon that Adith had moved from beneath her such that it lay between them. Her nimble fingers began to work at the Adith's belt to loose it.

"No, my lady, let me..." Trying to take her mind from her compromising predicament, Adith attempted to still Ilene's hands, though she only succeeded in tangling them and further complicating the relatively simple action. Eventually the sword belt was loosened and discarded, leaving the two women lying face to face, hands touching.

"We ought not stay too much longer," Adith murmured. "We have a long ride back to the keep."

"It's early yet."

"You are tired."

"Only a little." Ilene smiled. "Besides, I could sleep a little here if I needed, easily." She shifted again, slipping an arm around Adith's waist, and tipping her head to rest it against her shoulder.

"Very well. But only for a little while."

 

"What in hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing! Nothing's wrong!" came the angry response as Adith fumbled with her sword belt, wanting nothing more than to free herself from its weight around her waist. "Just go back to the yard, I'm fine."

"Don't be ridiculous, you are going to tell me what that was all about!"

"Are you ordering me? Because otherwise I don't think it's any of your business!"

Natia actually started back a little physically, blinking in her surprise at this. She frowned, shaking her head, taking a step back. "Fine," she muttered. "All right, don't tell me anything. But I am ordering you to keep a better control on your temper when out in the yard in front of impressionable trainees. They take their cue from you, partcularly the girls."

"So let them find someone better to learn from," Adith said gruffly, finally managing to unhook her belt and tossing it angrily on the low pallet that served as her bed. "Since I'm obviously such a sorry example of a guard."

"I don't understand you at all, Tarn. You and Hobb are cordial, are you not? I can't see what reason you would have had to lose your temper with him like that?"

The younger woman acted as if she hadn't heard, all but stamping across the room to glare out the door at anyone who might be passing by. "Of course you wouldn't," she said after some time, shaking her head. "You didn't hear what he said."

"Well, enlighten me."

For a moment it seemed as if Adith would refuse, but then she turned, a pained expression on her face. "Apparently it is known that those who seek me can find me in your shadow, trailing after you like a dog to its master," she said miserably.

Natia's expression softened immediately, and she stepped back towards Adith with an hand out, touching it to her arm. "Oh, dearest, he was only teasing. Everyone knows we're friends, that's all."

Adith pulled away, her face contorting with anger. "He wasn't teasing, nor were any of the others, snickering behind their hands. I'm a laughingstock - what kind of example is that to set to the 'impressionable young recruits'?"

"Adith, please, be reasonable." Natia hesitated before continuing, "Hobb's just jealous, that's all, you mustn't mind what he says."

"How can I not?" the younger woman wanted to know. "They're mocking me, Natia. It's fine for you, everyone respects you. But I'm just a joke."

"It's just Hobb. And he's just angry. Let it pass."

"What right does he have to be angry over our friendship? It's no concern of his who your friends are."

"He doesn't," Natia said, her voice carefully controlled and calm. "He doesn't. And he knows that. But..." She sighed. "We had a discussion, and he didn't like what I had to say. He's trying to hurt me, and I'm sorry that you got involved. Adith, I've known Hobb since we were children. I promise you, this will blow over - I'd wager he'll apologise before the day is out."

"He doesn't," Natia said, her voice carefully controlled and calm. "He doesn't. And he knows that. But..." She sighed. "We had a discussion, and he didn't like what I had to say. He's trying to hurt me, and I'm sorry that you got involved. Adith, I've known Hobb since we were children. I promise you, this will blow over - I'd wager he'll apologise before the day is out."

"Why?" Adith asked, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. "What did you say to him?"

Natia's expression closed off a little, then. "That's not important right now."

"Why is he trying to hurt you?" the younger woman pressed.

"Because he's upset." Natia frowned. "That's not the point."

"Why not? You said something to upset Hobb and he comes after me. It seems only fair that I know what his quarrel is with you, especially if he is going to approach me again."

The older woman sighed, turning to find the bench behind her before sitting down heavily. "Hobb has nursed something of an... interest in me," she began, "since we were both young. There was a time when we both thought that we would one day marry and share one another's lives. We have always been close, and kept no secrets from one another, even when we didn't see each other for years at a time posted elsewhere."

Natia pursed her lips, silent for a moment as she gathered her thoughts, her eyes trained on the ground between Adith's feet rather than the other woman's face. "I've realised, though, that I will never marry Hobb, and that we will only ever be friends. He still harboured the hope that we might be more than that. We cleared the air on the matter quite recently, and that accounts for his present mood." When the red haired woman finally looked back up at Adith, her face wore a frown of something like hurt or disapproval, perhaps at the fact that she'd been obliged to share information that she had preferred to keep unspoken.

For her part, Adith had to fight hard to quell the surge of jealousy that ripped through her at the mention of Natia sharing her thoughts and emotions with someone else, despite the fact that it was in the past. She pouted petulantly, folding her arms over her chest. "You could have told me," she said accusingly. "Or is it only Hobb you share all your secrets with?"

"Don't be a child, surely you must realise how he would have felt if he'd known I'd discussed his feelings with another guard? You two work together much more closely than he and I do. It was for his sake, not mine."

She couldn't deny the truth in that, but didn't want to admit she had overreacted, especially as she felt she had not yet heard the whole story. "Fine. So I nearly broke a man's nose because you've changed your mind about marrying him. It all makes sense now."

"No, you nearly broke his nose because you can't control your temper, or see the difference between someone hurt lashing out and genuine malice." Natia clearly still wasn't in the mood to be gentle with Adith.

"But I wasn't the one who hurt him in the first place!" Adith exclaimed. "So why me?"

To this, Natia seemed to have no good answer. Eventually, lamely, she hazarded, "Because he knows we're close."

"And hurting me would hurt you, would it? Thus far it's only seemed to make you yell at me. Some revenge that is."

"You think that my closest friends fighting doesn't hurt me? You think that you being angry with me doesn't hurt me?" Natia was standing again now, voice raised again, her tone clearly showing her impatience. "I don't know what more you want from me, Adith. I've told you what I know. Whatever Hobb said to you, however true or otherwise it was, you had no call to behave as you did. If you're so worried that the other guards think you follow me around like a puppy or what-have-you, well, you know what to do about that!" Natia turned and strode rather than stalked off, which was somehow worse - conveying not that she wanted to make a dramatic exit but more that she simply wanted to be out of Adith's company.

Just as quickly as Adith's temper had flared it cooled, leaving her feeling empty and a bit sorry for herself. Sitting down on the pallet with a heavy sigh she put ou a hand to touch her sword, appreciating the reassuring familiar heft of it. She didn't quite understand why Natia was so angry with her, but she knew she didn't want her to stay that way. With another sigh she stood, buckling her sword belt on and setting out to find the man whose eye she had recently blackened - maybe apologizing wouldn't fix everything, but it was a start.

 

Ilene had been asleep for around an hour. Not only was her arm still wrapped around Adith's waist but she had managed to slip a knee between Adith's legs to increase their proximity, her face buried in the crook of the guard's neck, hair, half escaped from its long dark braid, spread out over the cloak behind her.

The guard had been doing her best to keep her mind occupied with anything other than thoughts of Ilene, and had not noticed the passage of time as she sifted through memories in her search for distraction. The sound of birds singing nearby gradually pulled her attention, though - it was not light yet but would be soon.

Shifting, Adith cleared her throat and tried to rouse the noblewoman as gently as she could. "M'lady, please wake up. We must go soon." Ilene sighed, shifting a little herself, but didn't seem to wake, though her arm tightened a little around Adith's waist. "My lady." The guard reached with her free hand to nudge the other woman's shoulder; when that didn't work Adith moved her hand to her cheek. "Ilene."

"Mmmhm?" Ilene stirred, now, and opened her eyes, tipping her head to meet Adith's. She favoured her with a sleepy smile.

For a moment Adith was struck dumb, and only remembered to speak when Ilene gave her an expectant look. "We have spent too long here and must return to the keep immediately, my lady," she mumbled.

"Ah." The sigh now was more resigned than contented. "I suppose." Ilene pushed to a sitting position, shivering as she left the warmth of Adith's body against hers.

Adith hurried to follow suit, if only to better dispel the tingling that ran the length of her limbs. "I will gather our things..."

Ilene scrambled to her feet to follow suit, pulling her cloak back on, though it was now slightly damp, before moving over to her horse to prepare it for the long ride home.

Both women were quiet on the journey back to the keep; Ilene because she was still sleepy from her nap in the meadow, and Adith because of her distracting and ultimately frustrating thoughts. It was dawn before the reached the stables and Adith winced as she led both horses through the courtyard, having sent Ilene up to her chambers before anyone spotted her. Several guards were milling about, having just come off duty not long before, one of them being Cale, who caught her eye and immediately went over to help her with one of the horses, as though he knew exactly where she'd been and everything was entirely routine.

"Thank you," Adith murmured, briskly currying the dried mud from her horse's flanks.

"Cutting it a little close?" Cale murmured, beneath the earshot of anyone else in the stable.

"Time escaped me. I should have been more careful."

"I'll finish up here, best you get back to the tower."

Casting the man a grateful look, Adith hurried into the keep and towards the stairs to Ilene's chamber tower. Ilene was already ready for bed when she entered, although she was not in bed, instead sitting at her desk reading a thick book by candlelight.

"I see - you sleep in my company that you might enjoy your other pass-times more," the guard remarked with a wry smile.

Ilene's gaze drifted away from the book and to Adith's, and she smiled gently. "I think you underestimate the considerable enjoyment I gain from any time in your company."

"My prowess as a pillow is well-renowned."

Ilene chewed her lip momentarily, then seemed to decide to throw caution to the wind, and said, "I don't suppose you would like to exercise that prowess any further this night?"

Adith hesitated, torn between her strong desire not to embroil herself any further in events that might test her self-control and the equally powerful urge not to disappoint the noblewoman again. "It is no longer night," she said at last, but even as she did so she sat down on the edge of the bed and began to remove her boots.

"It's night until we've slept," Ilene countered with a slight smile, standing and approaching the bed to sit down next to Adith.

"Typical noble, presuming they control even the night and day," Adith teased, mostly to hide her simmering nerves.

"I think you know very well I am not a typical anything," Ilene said with a small, teasing smile. She lifted her legs up onto the bed and shifted to pull back the covers and slip beneath them, leaving a space beside her waiting for Adith to finish readying herself.

The guard took longer than usual, fussing with her belt and jerkin for some time before finally stripping down to her tunic and leggings. Eventually she slid between the blankets, marvelling at the soft sumptuousness of the bed. Ilene settled down in the bed herself, turning to face the guard and reaching a hand out to catch a scrap of Adith's shirt between her finger and thumb, as though checking that she was really there.

"I have never taken my guarding duties to such lengths before," Adith remarked then.

"If you think this is guarding duty, you can put your sword back on and stand by the door," Ilene murmured with a tired smirk, shifting closer, arm slipping once more around Adith's waist.

"I'd rather not."

"Well, then we're in agreement."

"Mm." Adith sighed and closed her eyes, utterly content. "Goodnight, my lady."

"Mhm, goodnight."

 

When Adith awoke she was struck by two distinct sensations: the first of being totally warm, secure and content; the second was that she was being watched.

Meri held a finger up to her lips, looking significantly at the door. "Hobb arrived," she said quietly. "I told him that there had been a rearrangement, and that his duties did not start until midday. You have a few hours."

The look Adith gave her was one of pure gratitude. "Could we have some water?" she asked hopefully. Meri smiled, and nodded toward the jug by the bed.

"Careful, now," she murmured, meeting Adith's eyes with a look that missed nothing.

Cheeks flushing, Adith turned away, inhaling Ilene's scent deeply. She didn't want to wake the other woman just yet, though she was now deeply aware of the compromising position they were in. She heard the quiet click of the chamber door closing behind Meri, and Ilene was pulled slightly from her slumber, making a tiny whimpering sound and dipping her head, nuzzling into the crook of Adith's neck.

The guard felt a tug deep within and sighed, for a moment letting down her reserve and encircling the other woman in her arms. Ilene's breathing seemed a little less shallow now, as though she were in a lighter doze, and indeed she felt a slight movement in Ilene's arm around her as the noblewoman flattened her hand where it lay at the small of her back, before pulling it into a loose fist, a handful of Adith's lightweight tunic gathered up in it. This exposed a slight sliver of skin, causing Adith to shiver and move closer, and as she felt a soft, warm brush against her exposed collarbone it was a moment before she registered it as Ilene's mouth, her lips touching lightly to her bared skin, just slightly, but with such subtlety that she immediately wondered just how asleep Ilene still was.

This thought only lingered a moment before she was consumed by other, more primal preoccupations. Sucking in a breath, she skimmed her fingers up Ilene's back,bending her head to nuzzle her hair. The other woman made another tiny sound in the back of her throat that this time sounded more like a moan, and she shifted, her legs slipping past Adith's, suddenly almost unbearably hot in her leggings.

Taking this as encouragement, Adith dipped her head to brush her lips past the other woman's temple. She knew on several levels that this was a large step past any boundaries they had set or should abide by, but could not be concerned with such trivialities right then. Ilene seemed past caring also, a tiny gasp escaping her mouth, and she raised her head, her nose brushing against Adith's, her eyes finally fluttering open, pupils huge and shining even in the near-dark chamber.

"Adith..."

"My lady," the guard breathed.

"Don't call me that," Ilene murmured, "not here." Then she closed the gap between them without another word, pressing her lips to Adith's. Shock coursed through her, followed immediately by desire. Adith let out a moan, tipping her head to deepen the kiss as she pressed her body to Ilene's. The noblewoman's mouth was warm, her lips parted, her breath surprisingly sweet. Her fingers skimmed slightly up and down Adith's spine, dancing as they did over the strings of her lyre.

After several breathless seconds Adith pulled back, her lips slightly parted, her eyes slightly glazed. She lifted a hand, pressing it to the other woman's cheek. "Ilene..."

"What? Please..." Ilene leaned forward again, only for Adith to stop her, and she waited, her gaze fixed on the other woman's mouth, her expression nothing short of hungry.

"You must understand... This is not easy."

"What could be simpler?"

Adith bit her lip, her hands pressing against the other woman's back, holding her close. "I wish it was."

"Adith, I'm not a child, and I'm not a fool. I know what this is. But need we think about it now? You heard Meri..."

"As did you." It was not a question.

If Ilene took the inference behind this she chose to ignore it, instead slipping her hand down Adith's back, fingers creeping slightly beneath her leggings. "So we both heard her," she said, dropping her voice and leaning closer again. "And so we both know that there are hours before we have to face the world again."

Instead of saying anything further Adith chose to lean in and kiss Ilene again, shutting her eyes tightly against her nagging thoughts and the rest of the world. Ilene smiled against her mouth, the hand that was trapped between them creeping up so that she brushed the back of it against the other woman's firm, taut stomach, up across her ribcage, sweeping lightly across the underside of her breasts.

Adith let out a strangled gasp, freezing momentarily before her embrace became all the more passionate, all the more frenzied, and Ilene returned her enthusiasm in kind, her fingertips brushing lightly up over Adith's nipple. Arching her back, the guard slid her hands down until she could grasp the hem of Ilene's tunic and tug it up, sighing rapturously as the bare skin of their stomachs met.

"Gods..." Ilene pulled back momentarily, pressing their foreheads together, biting her lower lip, eyes squeezed shut. The hand that lay against Adith's back shifted round, began tugging at the lace that held her leggings in place, loosening it.

Shifting, Adith raised herself over the other woman's body, both freeing Ilene's hands and giving her a better angle from which to cover her in kisses. Her lips sought the noblewoman's cheeks, her neck, her jaw, her collarbone, fever-hot and lingering only seconds before reverentially pressing against another inch of exposed skin.

Ilene's hands, clumsy and slow all of a sudden, nonetheless loosened Adith's legging enough to slip her hand inside, wasting no time in showing that if this was the first time she had done such a thing she was surprisingly intuitive.

The guard's breath caught in her throat as she tipped her head back, the feel of Ilene's slim fingers pressing against her almost too much to bear. Then, slowly, she began to move against her, her body thrilling at each small sensation that somehow seemed to multiply until it was all she could do not to cry out. As if sending this effort Ilene lifted her head and pressed her mouth hard against Adith's, her tongue slipping between the other woman's lips, her free hand moving to grip Adith's hip as she picked up her rhythm.

Together they moved, driving further towards the peak as Adith returned Ilene's embrace, her own hands dancing over the other woman's body, stroking the long lines of her arms and sides before pressing urgently against her breast. Ilene gasped, her fingers stilling momentarily, though the rhythm they picked up a moment, was that much more urgent, and it was not long before Adith tipped over the edge, smothering her cries against Ilene's lips as she came.

Ilene kissed her deeply, her own breath nearly as ragged as Adith's, and she retrieved her hand to wrap her arms tightly around her. The guard allowed herself a moment of rest - spots swimming before her eyes, heart pounding - before kissing Ilene deeply and pulling away to trail her lips down her neck and chest, seeking her nipple through the thin fabric of her tunic and eliciting a loud gasp from her as she found it. With her free hand Adith began to caress Ilene's smooth thighs, her lips and tongue teasing her nipple before moving lower to skim her stomach, which tensed beneath her mouth, and she felt the vibration of the long, low moan from Ilene as Adith's lips met with bare flesh.

This spurred her onward, and she looked up, meeting Ilene's lust-dark gaze as her mouth moved ever lower. As it reached its goal Ilene arched against her, crying out, her hands grasping for purchase on the bed beneath them. Adith wrapped her hands around the other woman's thighs, holding her still as she teased her - bringing her close to her peak before drawing back, letting the waves recede before deftly coaxing them back again.

"Tarn," she gasped between ragged breaths. "I swear, if you won't let me- Ohgods..."

As much as Adith was savouring this, she knew it was her first (and possibly last) time sharing the experience with Ilene, and she did not want to waste it. Giving a low moan, she renewed her efforts, and in moments Ilene was bucking hard against her mouth, her loud cries now mercifully muffled against the pillow by her head.

When she finally stilled Adith pulled away, lightly placing kisses on her thighs and stomach as she raised herself up on shaking arms. Ilene's grip was weak as she rested her hands on Adith's shoulders, tugging lightly at her shirt to hurry her into her arms. Adith all but sank into them, closing her eyes and pressing herself close to the other woman with a contented sigh.

Ilene once more wrapped her arms around the other woman, pressing her lips to Adith's forehead, one hand sliding up her back to tangle in her hair, which had by now worked its way free of the usual plait the guard wore it in. Together they lay half-under the blankets, breathing deeply as the last shivers ran through their limbs. The sun was streaming in through the half-open curtains, lighting the room and illuminating dancing motes of dust over the table. Eventually, Ilene shifted a little, gently easing herself out from beneath Adith, though she didn't go far, immediately curling against her, their legs still entwined.

"That was incredible," Adith murmured, turning to brush her lips over Ilene's cheek. "You're incredible."

Ilene sighed quietly, smiling and turning her head to lightly catch Adith's mouth with her own. "Mm. Perhaps."

Marveling at the sensations still rippling through her, the guard returned the kiss. "I've wanted to be close to you for so long..." She drifted off, not wanting to reveal too much, though it was hard to think logically when so near to the object of her desires.

Ilene just nodded. "I know," she said simply.

A hundred questions whirled through Adith's head - what did this mean for them? How was she supposed to act normally from here on out? How had Ilene known to do... all of that? She silenced them, though, or at least ignored them, desperate to take advantage of the time left to them before she would have to climb from the bed, put on her uniform and resume her duties. She settled against the other woman, sighing contentedly and closing her eyes once more. Questions could wait. This was more important.

 

"You always have so many questions! Why did I say this, why do I do that... Do I really have to explain every single thing I do to you?" Natia scowled a little, folding her arms in front of her even as they made their way along the corridor to her room. "I don't understand why you can't just trust me..."

"You know that it's not that I don't trust you. It's just... you're so private sometimes," Adith said, sounding almost guilty, as if she knew she was treading on dangerous territory. "You may think you say what is needed, but sometimes a little more would be nice."

"Don't I share enough of my life with you? I tell you everything you could possibly need to know, and sometimes more."

"Why do you get to decide what I need to know? If I'm asking questions then obviously you aren't telling me everything." The pair entered Natia's room and the older woman closed the door behind them before rounding on Adith.

"Does it occur to you that you're asking me questions that I just don't have an answer for?" She had stepped closer, now, looking almost threatening, and Adith found herself back slightly towards the wall behind her.

"I only asked why Hobb would have said that when I went to apologize to him," she pressed, despite the fact that her voice was shaking. "Why would he warn me to stay away from you, Natia?"

Natia's eyes were anywhere but Adith's face now, her frown deepening. "Hobb doesn't trust me to exercise self-control, and he thinks that it may get me hurt if you and I continue to associate," she said eventually, her glare daring Adith to enquire further.

"But I trust you," Adith said earnestly. "And I would never do anything to hurt you, I swear to you."

"You don't understand," Natia said. "You can't."

"Because you won't tell me!" The younger woman stepped forward, reaching out to Natia and then letting her hands drop to her sides when she saw the rigid way she was holding herself. "How can you know I don't understand if you won't tell me what it is?" she pleaded. "I am not a child, Natia - I am a member of the guard and I do not shy away from things merely because they are difficult, or frightening. Why is this so beyond my ken? What is it?"

Rather than speak, Natia finally moved, lifting her hands to Adith's arms and stepping closer again so that she found herself once more backed against the wall. Leaning close, Natia lowered her voice. "It's that being close to you, like this, means so much more for me than you think," she said, her hands loosening their grip on the unresisting woman's arms and slipping down to her hands, clasping them lightly. Her lip curled in something like disgust, her frown never lightening, eyes burning with intensity as they finally met Adith's. "And you can't understand how, and if you did, you would hate me."

"I could never hate you," came the whispered response; Adith's heart was racing so fast she felt as if a bird had been trapped beneath her ribcage and was fluttering to get out. "I... I want to be close to you as well. Please."

"You don't understand, Adith, I don't want to be your friend, or mentor, or sister," Natia spat, her hands moving to Adith's waist, gripping her hips almost hard enough to bruise, every movement seemingly guaged to intimidate the other woman, to scare her away, though she hadn't budged. Almost of its own accord a hand slid up across Adith's ribs, dragging across the rough fabric of her tunic to cup her breast, and Natia made a sound that was almost a growl. "I want you."

 

"Ilene... Ilene... Gods, I want you..." Adith tumbled over in the large, soft bed, pulling the other woman down to her. They had exchanged barely three words since she had entered the room, their hands and mouths too busy on each other's skin, delving beneath clothing and pressing against rapidly-pounding pulses. In this instance Ilene didn't even answer, simply beginning to tug Adith's shirt from her belt, pulling at its laces to loosen it.

There hadn't been much talking involved at all, really; Adith didn't know what to say and Ilene seemed content enough not to discuss the fact that they had now become lovers - with all the secrecy and furtiveness that the word seemed to imply. Given that they were already used to escaping the keep altogether and riding off into the hills, this new shift in activities was comparatively easy to disguise, the only person noticing the change in their behaviours being Meri, who seemed entirely at ease with the situation. At first Adith wondered - and worried - but given that this seemed not to be the first time Ilene had engaged in such activities (given her relative comfort with the circumstances) she eventually decided that it would make sense for the noblewoman to employ a servant who was accepting of such practices.

She was pulled from her musing by Ilene's impatient tuggings at her tunic, unable to remove it with Adith lying back on the bed as she was. "I want to see you. Please..." The guard shifted, raising herself up so that Ilene could work the tunic further up her torso, exposing her stomach and then her small, neat breasts. Her sword and belt she had already unbuckled and left by the door - a regular occurrence now, as it was hard to wear a sword when naked in bed. Ilene dropped the unwanted piece of clothing on the floor, and leant down to kiss Adith again, deeply, moaning against her mouth at the gasp of reaction she got as her palm brushed across the older woman's nipple.

Eyes fluttering shut, Adith slipped her own hands beneath Ilene's tunic, smoothing them over her sides and back as she pulled her closer, their legs weaving together, Ilene's hips instinctively shifting against her. Soon her own clothes joined Adith's on the floor and the two women moved together until they were both panting and spent, lying in a tangle of limbs under the great stone walls.

When Ilene finally spoke, she murmured, "Let's go out on the glen tonight."

"Tonight?" Adith asked, opening her eyes to look at the other woman. "Are you sure? Tomorrow is Lord Whatshisface's arrival and the feast in his honor. Shouldn't you be well-rested for that?"

"I'll manage, you know me." Ilene smiled over at her. "I want to be outside with you."

"Very well. Then we shall go."

Ilene smiled in satisfaction at getting her own way - as usual. She wrapped her arms around Adith and closed her eyes with a contented sigh.

Meanwhile, the guard calculated furiously the changes she would have to make to the rota, hoping it wouldn't draw too much attention. She wanted to make Ilene happy, of course, but feared what being caught out might do to both their reputations.

 

"Do you know, I think I could stay here forever. Could we just build a little hut and live here, do you think?"

"That seems unlikely," Adith replied, shaking her head. "As nice as that sounds."

"You were the one who used to tell the other children when it was time to go inside, weren't you?" the other woman teased gently, slipping an arm around Adith's.

"I was not!" the guard protested, making a face at the other woman. "I just... Don't want to get too caught up in dreams."

"I don't know..." Ilene said with a little smile, easing a little closer. "Some of my dreams turned out to be achievable."

"For now."

Ilene raised her eyebrows.

Adith frowned and shifted her gaze, staring down the glen towards the keep. "I'm sorry, my lady," she murmured. "I did not mean to... disagree."

Ilene sighed, resting a head on Adith's shoulder. "I don't disagree, I just... I think it's a shame that you can't just enjoy this while it's... simple."

"I do enjoy it," Adith protested. "I do enjoy this. Us. It's more than I could have ever imagined."

"I certainly imagined it, almost from the day we met."

"You did?" the guard asked, voice ripe with disbelief.

Ilene pulled back slightly with a tiny frown. "If you're going to mock me, I shall not tell you these things."

"I'm not mocking you, I'm just-- surprised. I thought you disliked me when we met."

"Hah. I thought you hated me."

"I thought you were difficult, demanding, and used to getting your own way."

"Well, I thought you were stuffy and authoritarian. And we were both right."

"Mm." Adith gave a small smile and leaned over to bury her nose in Ilene's hair, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. Somehow she managed to smell better even than the cool night air and blooming flowers around them, though she was just as fresh and sweet as they were. Ilene smiled and turned a little wrap her arms around Adith.

"Oh, I don't want to have to go to formal dinners and receptions tomorrow..."

"You could play ill..."

"Father would never believe it. I'm never ill."

"Then I suppose you'll have to suffer through."

"We'll have to escape when we can."

"We?" Adith asked, quirking an eyebrow. "You're assuming I put myself on the roster for guard duty during a long, boring formal dinner."

Ilene's eyes widened. "You're not going to be there?"

"Well, I was thinking of giving it to Cale, who likes to make eyes at the noblewomen from afar..."

"Adith, please, how will I cope without you there?"

The guard's stomach did a small flip as she heard the plaintive note in Ilene's voice, though she tried to tell herself it was nothing. "Oh, very well," she sighed. "I suppose you might need two guards that night." The other woman smiled contentedly, tightening her arms a little around Adith.

"Thank you. I'm sure I'll find some way to repay you."

"Mm. I'm sure you will."

"Shall we get back to the keep? It will be dawn soon enough."

"Yes, we wouldn't want you to be tired for your big evening tomorrow..."

"I didn't say anything about going to sleep any time soon."

Feeling a familiar tug, Adith licked her lips and straightened up. "Well, then, we had best get back soon."

 

To Adith's considerable disappointment, Lord Valir was every bit as intelligent, charming and handsome as he had been rumoured to be. She watched, crestfallen, as he held a table full of nobles (including Ilene) captive with a tale of his encounters will a group of feral 'hill folk' he had encountered two winters ago - the story rang of fiction to Adith, but of course she could say nothing as they drank to his bravery. For all his bravado and boasting though he seemed to her to have a sharpness about him, a glint to his eye, that spoke of considerable canny. She knew from her conversation with Garas that Ilene's father considered the man to be sympathetic to his cause. She made a mental note to attempt to ascertain whether this was indeed the case.

The banquet stretched on, buoyed by endless trays of food and flagons of wine. As she knew would happen, Adith had very few opportunities to interact with Ilene in any way, mostly standing behind her and dividing her attention between Lord Valir and the rest of his party. She had eaten earlier in the evening but the tempting aroma of roast meat and freshly-baked bread was still distracting.

"Do you need a break?" The words were almost whispered, but still recognisable as Cale with his strong Southland accent. He had sidled up to her and was speaking almost out of the corner of his mouth. "I can take over this station if you'd like to stretch your legs a little."

Amused at the lengths to which Cale went to maintain secrecy, Adith managed to keep her expression neutral as she gave a slight nod. "Very well, thank you. I will not be long."

"Off you go, then." Cale took up her post, straightening and sticking his strong chin out slightly in that way he always did when he was on guard.

With a smile Adith relinquished her post; no one saw her go, unsurprisingly. Slipping through the throngs of servants, all of whom were caught up in their own ogling of the nobility or personal petty dramas, she made her way towards the kitchens for a bite to eat. On her way there, however, she heard raised voices from the courtyard and redirected her steps in that direction both out of curiosity and concern.

The voice she heard as she approached, however, was more than familiar, and not welcome.

"Get away from me, I'm warning you-"

"You? You couldn't warn of an errant fly. I should beat you to within an inch of your life, you snivelling little-"

"Oi!" Adith interrupted, somewhat reluctantly, stepping into sight of the two men currently locked in a struggle against the courtyard wall. "What's going on here?"

The shorter and broader of the two men turned from where he had the other man pinned, and Adith recognised him as Ioan, a good friend of Dare's and another of Phin's guardsmen. "Leave us be, Tarn, would you? I caught this skinny freak skulking around outside the female guards' washrooms - he needs to learn something about manners."

"It's not true, I was under orders! Tarn will tell you, you'd do well not to cross me..."

Barely able to keep from rolling her eyes, Adith grimaced and shook her head instead. "Let him go, Ioan. He's not your responsibility. I'll take care of him."

Ioan loosened his grip, although not before landing a punch in Dil's gut that made the other man yelp in pain, and stalked off, back toward the great hall. Dil eased a little, leaning against the wall, although his expression was anything but relaxed.

He tensed a bit further as Adith stepped closer, but she only took his arm, pulling him away from the wall and back towards the keep.

"You should know better than to get caught," she said gruffly, turning to catch his eye.

"I could say the same for you," the young man said, clearly still lashing out in his humiliation. "You've grown sloppy of late. Eventually the servants will begin to notice."

Adith flinched but continued walking resolutely, guiding Dil into the guardsroom, which was nearly empty as most of the other guards were in the great hall at the banquet. "Sit down. Catch your breath," she ordered him, casting a glance around the room for the nearest pitcher.

"This isn't going to make up for anything, you know," he sneered ungratefully. "In case you think I'll suddenly fawn over you like Cale just because you 'saved' me from some idiot thug."

"I'm hardly doing this for you," Adith muttered, pouring out a mug of water and placing it in front of the young man at the table. "I doubt you were hanging around outside the washrooms for any purposes except your own, and frankly, if I had caught you there you'd be in no better shape. But it's not for Phin's guardsmen to discipline one of our own. So watch where you go and stay out of their way, understood?"

"You mistake me, Tarn, as usual. I was observing the washrooms because I suspect one of Valir's personal guard to be a spy."

In spite of herself Adith turned, brows furrowing. "And you thought she might be conducting her betrayals in the washroom?"

"You know perfectly well that if she's passing messages on to be delivered outside the keep they could be delivered anywhere. And conducting such business in a washroom immediately cuts out a vast majority of likely observers."

"Mm." The guard hated to admit it, but Dil was right. "Who would she be reporting to? Melith? It seems a bit pointless here..."

"Well, I don't know. She just seemed suspicious and she looked familiar. I wanted to find out more."

"And did you?"

Dill shook his head. "That idiot got in my way."

"Ah. A shame."

The other man's eyes narrowed. "You mind your business, Tarn, and I'll mind mine."

"I'd like nothing better," Adith said, rolling her eyes. She had been hoping to find some peace and quiet in which to eat, but apparently that wasn't going to be the case. "Just try not to get caught next time." With that, she turned and headed back to the hall, feeling Merik's glare on her back as she went.

 

"So they seem to be getting along rather well."

Cale was still talking out of the side of his mouth.

"That's expected." Adith stood shoulder-to-shoulder with the man, watching Ilene and Valir chat animatedly over cups of wine. "And good."

"It would certainly ease the current climate somewhat if the pair were to be on good terms. Or so I hear."

"I doubt Lady Ilene is doing anything out of concerns for the current climate."

"Then I suppose she must like him."

"Mm."

Cale was silent for a moment, still staring straight ahead. Eventually he added, "That bothers, you, doesn't it?"

"I would like to see the current climate resolved as much as the next person. More, even," Adith said, frowning as she tried to avoid answering the question.

"I don't want to see you hurt, Adith. I do care about you."

"What are you going to do, spill wine on Valir so he looks a fool?"

"I'm not going to do anything," Cale murmured. "I was more thinking that this might give you cause to... rethink your choices before you're in a position to cause yourself yet more pain."

"I can't."

"And why is that?"

"Because I just... can't, Cale. To do that would make her unhappy, and I can't do that." She shook her head, wishing he had chosen a time for this discussion that didn't require them to both stand with their backs to the wall, staring straight ahead. "Do you understand?"

"Not really, Adith, no. Wouldn't it be better for you both to... ah... end your acquaintance?"

"In many ways, yes."

"But you won't?"

"I can't."

The other guard finally turned his head to look at her, his expression pained. "I don't think you even know what that word means. Why 'can't' you? You say it will make her unhappy, but then you admit that it would be better. You don't want to, that much is clear, but why 'can't' you?"

"Because," Adith replied, her tone low and even, "I'm in love with her. And I would no more put an end to our acquaintance than a man dying of thirst turn down a drink of water."

Cale, it seemed, couldn't have prevented the frown that fell across his features then even if he had wanted to. He looked away again, eyes turning to the front, and didn't say another word.

"You may go, guardsman." With a short nod, Cale left. Swallowing heavily, Adith settled her back against the cold stone wall, her stomach twisting as she heard the musical sound of Ilene's laughter in response to a jest of Valir's.

 

"And did you know he rides well? He was modest about it himself but his friend Hare said that he had the finest seat of any man he'd ever met. We're to go out tomorrow - I thought I might take him down to the shore... Oh, not our beach, of course," Ilene added, pausing in her undressing to lean and press her hand to Adith's arm. "Just the shore by the town."

"That sounds quite agreeable, m'lady." Ilene had talked of little else but Valir on their walk up to her rooms; she hadn't seemed to notice Adith's taciturnity on the subject yet.

Ilene reappeared from behind the screen next to Adith a few moments later, dressed for bed in her usual light tunic. She glanced at Adith in mild surprise. "You're still dressed. Meri said it was Cale on first tonight, that you'd be able to stay for a few hours..."

"I... am not very tired," she lied. "The banquet was quite invigorating."

"I don't remember suggesting that we rest..." Ilene said, a mischevious smile tugging at her lips as she turned to face Adith, sliding her hands up across the other woman's shoulders to lace her fingers behind her neck. In bare feet she was a little shorter than Adith, and she tipped her head to press her lips to the guard's jawline. The guard stood passively, receiving the kiss and then placing a hand on her waist to guide her towards the bed.

"It is late."

"Then you'd better be quick," Ilene said, apparently quite happy with where they were headed, her hands moving to tug at Adith's belt buckle.

"No, my lady... I..." Adith tried to resist, half-heartedly, her body already responding to Ilene's ministrations despite her reluctance. "We should not."

"Why not?"

"I... do not want to."

This, at least, seemed to stop Ilene in her tracks. Her face fell slightly, her hands going slack, though they didn't leave Adith's belt. "I don't understand. You don't want to sleep. I thought..."

The guard frowned, raising her free hand to cup Ilene's cheek lightly. "I'm sorry. I did not mean I didn't want to do... that. I just meant that, as I am now, it would not be fair to you..."

"I don't understand," the younger woman repeated. "Fair to me how? How are you now?"

"Distracted," Adith said with a shake of her head. "That's all."

"Oh..." Ilene frowned a little, but sat on the bed, tugging Adith's belt to indicate that she join her. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing. I did not mean to worry you, m'lady."

"Well, you have now, so you might as well tell me what is troubling you."

Adith sighed, wondering where exactly to start. "I had an encounter with Merik this evening. He suspects something of one of Valir's guardswomen. I hope he is wrong."

"I see. Does that call Valir into question, or..?"

"I cannot say. It is only a suspicion, after all. Possibly it means nothing."

Ilene nodded thoughtfully. "I'm sorry. I should have noticed that you were distracted. I suppose."

"You were busy with other things," Adith replied, a hint of reproach creeping into her voice unbidden. Ilene clearly didn't miss this - she looked somewhat taken aback.

"Pardon me?"

"Your attention was taken by Lord Valir all night. After your reluctance to attend the banquet I did not expect you to be quite so... enthralled."

"I was pleasantly surprised."

"So I saw."

"I don't know what you're trying to imply."

"Nothing, my lady." Adith sighed again, one hand going to loosen the knot of hair at the nape of her neck. "I will tell your father that you have enjoyed Lord Valir's company. He will be glad to hear it."

"But you are not..." Ilene turned a little to face Adith, her expression one of concern, and little irritation.

"I have heard enough of Lord Valir tonight."

The younger woman's frown deepened. "I see."

Adith finally undid the coil of hair at her neck, shaking it loose and combing her fingers through it to work through the waves that had formed from being confined all day. "I am sure that he is a fine man. I cannot help but feel... reluctant, however, when I see how he charms you."

"He's a charming man. But you seem to be talking as though that means anything more than that his company is enjoyable." Ilene leaned over and placed a hand on Adith's thigh. "Is that your concern?"

"I just do not want you to be taken in by him," she said guardedly. "We do not know if we can trust him, not truly. His charm may hide something else; we really cannot know."

The other woman frowned again slightly. She sat back. "Ah. Well, you needn't worry. I'm not a fool. I thought you knew that."

"I did not say you were. But it would not make you a fool to assume a friend has only good intentions. Just unlucky, if it turned out you were mistaken."

"Well, then I suppose I'm lucky to have you around to guard me." Somehow Ilene didn't sound terribly grateful for this.

"My lady, please..." Adith shifted closer, one hand seeking Ilene's where it lay on the blanket. "Can we not forget I raised this? I am sorry; I should not have allowed my distraction to color our time together." But Ilene pulled her hand away, shifting to pull the blankets from beneath her and get into bed.

"You're right, it's late."

Adith's shoulders slumped; she withdrew her own hand. "Does that mean I am dismissed?"

"If that is how you would have it, then yes, you are dismissed."

"You know it is not."

"If you want to decide when you are my guard, when you are my friend, when you are my lover, I don't see how you expect me to keep track!" Ilene snapped, bending her kneed and wrapping her arms around them. "Why don't you decide, and let me know, and I shall behave accordingly."

Adith was stunned into silence for a moment. She played nervously with her hair, eyes dropping to the floor before she spoke. "I was jealous," she murmured, "jealous of Valir and the way he made you laugh and smile. Jealous of the way he could sit and talk with you as an equal while I was forced to stand and watch."

Ilene's expression softened immediately, and she shifted forward to kneel on the bed by Adith's side. "Are you jealous of him now?" she asked. "Lying in some chamber at the other side of the keep while you are here, with me?"

"That depends," the guard said, turning to look at Ilene trepidatiously. "Do you still want me to leave?"

"I always want you to stay."

 

"Please, please, don't go, you can't..." Another ragged sob tore itself from Adith's throat as she knelt on the blood-stained ground, cradling the body of her fallen comrade in her arms. Natia was limp, her pale skin already growing cold to the touch. She barely felt the firm hand on her shoulder, although she managed to tear her gaze away when Cale hunkered into view, his other hand clamped over a rag pressed to his forehead, already soaked in blood.

"Adith, we have to go."

"No, I can't," Adith said desperately, tears clouding her vision once again. She shook her head emphatically, both to clear them away and to define her point. "I have to stay, I have to be here when she comes back, I can't leave..."

"She's not coming back. Come on, Adith, not here, all right?"

Cale stood up; Adith followed him numbly. She could feel the blood on her sleeves growing thick and sticky. None of it was hers.

 

"Wake up... Sshhh, wake up, my love, it's just a dream..."

Adith jerked awake, hands grasping wildly until they encountered warm flesh beside her. She could barely make out the shape of Ilene's face, pale in the moonlight coming through the window, her expression both concerned and warm. "I'm sorry," she choked out, her mouth dry.

"It's all right. Here, have some water."

Gratefully she drank, enough to wet her parched mouth and throat. Every muscle in her body ached as if she had spent the entire night running training drills instead of asleep on a comfortable mattress. She lay back against it when she had finished drinking, breathing deeply. "Thank you."

Ilene just shook her head, leaning over Adith protectively, hand raising to stroke her hair. "What is it you dream about? Natia?"

"Yes."

"You loved her very deeply." It wasn't a question.

"Yes."

"I'm so sorry."

"Please don't be," Adith said, shutting her eyes tightly and covering her face with one hand.

"I just wish there was something I could do." Ilene swallowed audibly, and Adith could feel her eyes on her even though her face was covered. "I wish... the days since... Valir arrived, since we talked, you've been so... I want so very much to make you happy, Adith. I don't know how."

"I am happy when I am with you," the guard said, though she didn't remove her hand from her eyes. "Do not doubt that."

"Not always. Sometimes I look at you and you seem so far away, and so sad." Adith felt Ilene shift, and realised the other woman had moved to lie back down, curled against her, breath light on her neck. "I don't think there's anything I can do to bring you back from there. I would have it that you had never had to suffer so, even if it meant you and I never happened."

Adith did drop her hand at this, turning onto her side to look at the other woman. "You would change what we are?"

"To make you happy, genuinely happy?" Ilene nodded. "In a moment, if I had to."

"Oh." Adith frowned slightly, though she knew Ilene's sentiment to be nothing if not heart-felt and earnest.

"What is it?"

"This cannot make you happy. Me. My behaviour. If you would rather be apart than together as we are."

"Oh, no, no, that's not what I meant..." Ilene seemed determined to push this idea from Adith's mind, and she wrapped an arm around her waist, leaning forward to press her lips to her forehead. "I am... I wish I could properly convey to you how happy I am when we are together. But..." She gave a sad little smile. "I know that you will never be truly content. And I'd give up anything to see your mind at peace." The silence that followed stretched out longer than was comfortable, and Ilene found herself leaning forward and pressing her lips briefly to Adith's before pulling back with a little shrug. "That's all."

Adith's cheeks colored, both from emotion as well as warmth. She still felt drained from her vivid dream, the images and sounds of the scene never far, especially when she closed her eyes. Ilene's tenderness was almost overwhelming, and she felt her eyes well up with tears. "You are a remarkable woman," she murmured, reaching up to brush the backs of her fingers over the other woman's cheek.

Ilene cast her eyes downward, uncharacteristically shy. "I don't think so. But I'm touched that you believe that."

"Of course I do. How could I do otherwise?" Adith asked softly. "I do not know what I have done to deserve you."

"Don't, that's ridiculous."

"No, it isn't." Adith leaned in to brush her lips over Ilene's mouth, a hand cupping her cheek. She had no answers for her, no words to convince her that her concerns were unfounded. For all her depth of caring and indeed love that she felt for the noblewoman, it could not erase the fact that they could only ever exist behind closed doors - and even that was dangerous. For her own part Ilene seemed at least somewhat quietened by this, as she leaned closer to return the kiss, her eyes fluttering closed. When the kiss ended Adith shifted, moving nearer the other woman and winding her arms around her to hold her close, and Ilene burrowed willingly into her embrace, nuzzling beneath her chin.

"I can hear your heart beating."

"Mm." Adith bent her head to kiss Ilene's forehead. "You should sleep - it will be a long day tomorrow with Lord Valir's plans."

"I could say the same of you - you will come with us on the morning hunt, will you not?"

"I will be there."

 

Here, Tarn-" Adith almost reflexively elbowed the person who caught her arm in the face, but caught herself at the last moment. Merik had already shrunk back in alarm, but recovered quickly, and leant in to speak to her. "That guard, she'll be on the hunt today. You're going?"

"Yes, I am," Adith confirmed, turning back to the task of saddling her horse amidst the bustle of the stable. "I am Lady Ilene's bodyguard, after all."

"Hm, call it whatever you like, I don't care. Keep an eye on her, would you? She's the dark-haired woman with the scar across her lip."

Adith had to suppress a snort. "You expect foul play in the light of day? She's not much of a spy, if she is one at all."

Merik straightened, flattening his mouth to a line. "Just do it," he said, and turned to leave without another word.

"I'll take a request from you, Merik," the guard said loud enough to be heard, looking over her shoulder at his retreating figure. "Not orders." But Merik only lifted a hand and waved it imperiously without looking round. Rolling her eyes, Adith redirected her attention to the task at hand, trying to push Merik and the annoyances he brought with him out of her mind. Though she had stopped his beating earlier that week she wasn't feeling any friendlier toward him... she couldn't say what had come over her to cause her to intervene, really. And it wasn't as if the favor had sweetened his disposition towards her any - if anything he had become even more spiky and condescending. She didn't know what to think of his suspicion of Valir's guard, but supposed she would keep a watch on her, just as she would all the other outsiders that might potentially threaten Ilene's safety.

Ilene was looking particularly refreshed that day considering how little sleep she'd had, her countenance cheerful, her hair and eyes shining with health, and she laughed and chattered with the other nobles on the hunt as though she were on top of the world.

Adith followed along quietly on horseback, keeping pace with the party without being intrusive. She was glad to see Ilene enjoying herself; after their somber talk the night before she was relieved that the other woman seemed in good spirits. There was, as always, the slight curl of jealousy in her stomach when said good spirits seemed to be the result of something Lord Valir said or did, but she pushed that away as well, redoubling her efforts to be vigilant and unnoticeable.

The hunt that day was a drag hunt, the hounds following the scent of a lure dragged across the countryside by gillies early that morning, so the party were soon on a merry chase, their route all the more pleasant and interesting for having been planned by canny humans rather than the panicked flight of some animal. There was some challenging horsemanship involved, at least for those who chose it, and the guard was proud to see Ilene at the front of the pack, handling her mount with ease. The noblewoman sat her horse well and drew approving looks not just from Adith but Lord Valir as well.

"You're a fine horsewoman," Adith heard him comment, his deep, rich voice carrying easily. "I look forward to many rides such as these together during my visit, if you'd be amenable."

Adith didn't hear the answer, Ilene's light tones lost on the breeze, but a moment later she caught the noblewoman's backwards glance and felt her cheeks flush. Ducking her head, she slowed her mount, not wanting to eavesdrop any further on their conversation.

 

The day wore on, and Adith began to forget about the task Merik had set her. Indeed, she might have put it from her mind altogether had she not been joined by another rider as she skirted the edge of the party, hearing an unfamiliar voice in greeting.

"I don't think we've met. You're Adith Tarn, are you not?"

"Yes," Adith said, turning in her saddle to eye the dark-haired woman thoughtfully. "I'm afraid I don't know your name."

"Carin Law. I'm in Lord Valir's personal guard." The other woman leant over, lifting a hand from her reins to offer it to Adith. The bodyguard guided her horse nearer and took Law's hand, giving it a perfunctory shake.

"It's a fine day," she remarked then, gaze going to the clear blue sky above.

"Aye, though I think we're in for rain on our way," Law replied, tipping her head in their direction of travel where, sure enough, heavy grey clouds gathered in the sky above the glen. Adith only nodded at first, and at any other time that might have been all, for she wasn't prone to idle chatter, but remember Dil's words, she instead kept pace. "Do you hunt with the Lord often?"

"Often enough - he has a lodge near the keep. I think he'd live there if his mother would allow it," Law said with a sidelong grin in Adith's direction.

"She still lives, then? I didn't know that."

"Oh, indeed - he's quite devoted to her."

Adith struggled for something more to say about this. "I... suppose that speaks well of him?" she ventured at length.

"I suppose it does," The skin around Carin Law's scar puckered slightly as her lips tugged toward the slightest of smirks, presumably at Adith's awkwardness, and the guard felt a swell of irritation rise inside her at everything the day had brought - at Valir and Ilene, their laughter echoing around the woods in lulls, at Merik and his insistence on assigning her this damnable task, at the threat of rain, at her own jealousy and preoccupation, and now at this woman, who seemed to find her lack of eloquence so very amusing. Everything felt out of joint, and he couldn't shake the feeling that she was missing a great deal in her distraction.

She almost spoke again, now, possibly to say something ill-advised and sharp, but she didn't get the chance, for a cry went up, then, from the front of the group.

"The hounds! They've found the trail again!"

The riders kicked their horses into a trot, picking up their pace as far as they could in the sparse woodland as they gave chase once more. Carin pulled ahead and off to the side, skirting around the edge of the party, and Adith cut through the middle, realising only now that though she could see Valir's horse up ahead, Ilene was suddenly out of sight.

Panic tightened inside Adith, and she called out, then. "My lady? Lady Ilene! Where did she go?" she demanded of Valir as she drew level with him, but the young man just shook his head, clearly utterly confused.

"She just followed the trail," he said, nodding up ahead of them. "It's fine."

But Adith was now quite convinced that it was not fine, and as soon as the forest allowed it she broke into a canter, weaving between the trees and calling Ilene's name, over and over, heading for the sound of the hounds.

"Adith!"

The cry poured ice into Adith's veins, and a moment later she saw it - Ilene's beautiful grey mare lying prone and twitching in pain, foot caught in a bear trap, a group of men in unmarked armour grappling with the lady, who was putting up a violent struggle, one attacker cradling a bloodied cheek. They already had her arms bound, and by the time Adith reached their vicinity they were on their own horses, Ilene slung over one of their laps.

Sword drawn, all her attention on the scene before her, Adith didn't even register the approaching hoofbeats before another figure on horseback rounded in front of her to block her path. Adith's horse reared in fright, unseating her immediately and sending her sword flying from her hand into the undergrowth, and it was blind luck that prevented her from being trampled as she hit the ground. She saw Carin Law swing down from her own mount, approaching her at a trot. Adith was up in moments to give chase on foot, however hopeless that might be, but the other woman blocked her path.

"Tarn, don't, you can't-"

Adith didn't give the other woman a chance to finish. turning to engage her, grappling and shoving her back before landing a punch to her gut. It was misjudged - Law grunted in pain but was undaunted, though she didn't immediately return Adith's aggression, dodging backwards and lifting her hands.

"Tarn, listen to me, this isn't-" But Adith wasn't listening couldn't listen. This woman had just prevented her from following her mistress's - her lover's captors. What could she possibly say that would change that? She launched toward the dark-haired woman again, but this time Law was ready for her, neatly sidestepping and grabbing her arm on the way past, turning with her and twisting them both, using the force of Adith's charge to propel them both downward.

Adith hit the ground again, hard - though Law was a little lighter than her they landed with a force that knocked the wind right out of her lungs. The other guard recovered far more quickly, straddling her and landing punch after punch to her face, leaving her head spinning. Adith threw all her weight into a sudden bid for freedom, but she felt a pressure on her arm and then heard a sickening pop, pain exploding from her shoulder and shooting down her arm. Law did stand, then, but Adith couldn't make herself move no matter how much her mind screamed at her body to comply.

"This isn't what you think," Law gasped, though with her words she swung a sharp boot into Adith's midsection that left her gasping for air once more. "I'm sorry," she said, kneeling by the other woman, grabbing her collar and lifting her up a little. Moaning at the fresh blossom of agony from her shoulder, Adith could barely raise her head, though she managed to turn her bloodied face toward the other woman. She felt a hand feeling around her jaw and neck, lifting one eyelid and then the other. Apparently satisfied, Law released her to slump back on the ground, rolling her onto her side before rising to her feet.

"I have to go," she said. "If you see me again you have my word: we will settle this."

"If I see you again it will be to run you through," Adith choked, blood escaping her lips as she spoke. She watched her assailant's boots halt, mid turn, but then Law seemed to think better of any response, and remounted her horse. A moment later, she was gone.