Chapter 3

I hate meeting new people. No, okay, that's not true - I love meeting new people, normally. But this city is terrible. It's full of smug, self-righteous bastards with too much money and far too high an opinion of themselves. I was in the middle of another online date and I could already tell it wasn't going to end well.

"So anyway, tell me more about your work - hug any polar bears recently? Just kidding!" My date grinned, showing off his even but slightly discoloured teeth.

"That's not really what I do," I said with a grim smile, shaking my head. "I work on a much smaller scale - microscopic, really."

"So you have pretty good eyesight then - I like that in a woman."

I nearly sighed. "Uh huh. And what else do you like in a woman?"

'Mike' smirked a little. "Oh, all sorts of things. I'm a man of catholic tastes."

And a terrible sense of humor. "Well then, I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding the right woman one day."

Mike was cheesy, but he wasn't stupid. His smile faded a little. "Let me down gently, why don't you?" he murmured.

I felt a sudden pang of guilt; I had been on edge all day but it wasn't fair to take it out on my date. "Sorry," I sighed, shaking my head. "That was... I shouldn't have said that. I've... just had a long day."

He shrugged. "No, that's fair enough. I appreciate your honesty." He looked thoroughly chastened now and that just made me feel worse.

"Well, as long as we're embracing honesty, I do think you're nice," I told him, hoping to make up for the complete rejection I had just offered. "How long have you been doing this internet dating thing?"

He seemed to relax a little, almost moreso than before - perhaps now that the pressure was off. "Too long," he said, making a face. "Not without some success, mind you - I saw the last woman I dated for four months before it went south. But..." he shrugged. "Who has the time to do things the old fashioned way?"

"I know exactly what you mean. It's hard enough finding time to go to dinner - trawling the bars for potential partners is just not in the cards."

"How long have you been doing this, then?"

I grimaced. "About... three weeks?"

He grinned. "And you're bored with it already?"

"Not bored, no. Just..." Impatient. "It's been a long time since I've done this. Been 'on the market'. I forgot what it's like."

He raised his eyebrows. "Divorced?" he guessed, apparently less subtle now that he knew he was onto a loser. Amusingly he was much more attractive now.

"Bingo."

"Snap. Mind you, a few years ago now for me. Took me a lot longer than you to get back on the horse, I can tell you."

"Well, I guess I'm just a cold-hearted bitch," I joked, lifting my wineglass. "But hey, if he's moved on, why can't I?"

"Ah, I see. His assistant?"

"Mine."

"Ooh, that's low."

"Lower than a pseudocoelomate," I agreed.

"So you lost a husband and an assistant. That's pretty harsh. I'm impressed," Mike said, raising his glass to me.

I smirked, returning the toast. "Well, I've already replaced the assistant - well, I didn't, but it's been taken care of."

"Maybe you could delegate replacing the husband as well."

This got a genuine laugh out of me, and I had to give it to him - Mike wasn't all that bad. "An excellent idea. I knew I was going about this all wrong."

"You could get your new assistant to do it," Mike suggested. "You know, for the irony value."

"She's a bit young - I'd be afraid to see what she'd pick out for me."

"Can't do worse than the Guardian personals, can she?" Mike teased.

I took another drink, then shot him an arch look over the remnants of my meal. "That remains to be seen."

 

[ 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 ]