Chapter 44

My pulse was still roaring in my ears when I reached home. What the hell was that? First there was the hug, which, I guess, was normal enough - I mean, we were friends, we were a little drunk, we'd just had a really exciting day... but then, when we'd pulled back, and Kathryn had looked at me as though...

I shook my head, closing the door a little louder than I'd meant to behind me as I got into my flat, and I was suddenly very glad that Debbie and I wouldn't be together tonight - hadn't, in fact, since Thursday - because if I saw her right now I didn't think I'd be able to prevent myself from blurting out everything, right there on the spot.

I managed to make myself a cup of tea and get ready for bed in something of a daze - every time I my mind wandered I found myself back on that corner, Kathryn's arms wrapped around me, pressed against her, an she was pulling back to look down at me again, and every time I felt myself tip my chin up a little, shift just a shade closer, until I was sure that was what I had done at the time before pulling back and that, that meant that she knew, and that wasn't good at all.

I'm not sure how I got through the next week.

 

It helped that the Summit was still in full swing and that my every working moment was taken up with logistics and organization (as well as my usual seminars and duties). I saw Kathryn every day, but only briefly, sometimes just in passing. There were no more invitations to 'celebratory drinks' or mentions of our usual weekly dinner at the pub and I couldn't tell if I was relieved or worried by this.

In the meantime, I had other distractions in any case, namely the gentle teasing apart of my life with Debbie. We'd spoken on Tuesday evening, and come to the conclusion, which Debbie at least allowed me to pretend was mutual, that we should call it a day. She was hurt but not devastated, possibly because she'd seen it coming, and I tried not to think too hard about what sort of coward that made me.

This, of course, led to an evening with Lynn, who first accused me of being an idiot and then just as quickly turned around and offered sympathy for the breakup - being her friend was like risking whiplash every time you spoke. She seemed happy enough to believe that Debbie and I just 'weren't meant to be' - I didn't dare tell her what was going on underneath.

Either way, it made for a hungover Friday, but at least then all my concentration went on staying focussed on the job at hand rather than obsessing over Kathryn - and over what the hell I was going to do after the Summit. Imagining long weeks of being stuck in my office in front of my computer, alone, without the thrill of an exciting event to distract me and the woman of my dreams avoiding me only a few rooms away... well, it made my career prospects suddenly seem a lot less appealing than they had just a few days ago.

All in all, though, the rest of the Summit went as smoothly as the start, and the final day, with the live debates and the awards ceremony for the various achievements of those involved through the week, went extremely well.

One compliment I was not expecting, however, was from the former organizer, who caught me in the hallway on the way to my office. Keith gave me one of his wide, genuine smiles, hands outspread. "Well, Dr Webb, I hear congratulations are in order. The Summit was a big hit."

"Oh." Initially I wasn't sure how to respond, slightly taken aback. Eventually I managed a, "Right, well, I mean, thank you very much, Dr Sinclair."

"Well, it's you we should be thanking - a successful event like that is good for the department and the university. Can't put a price on good PR, eh?"

"Absolutely." Also, I told you so.

"Kathryn must be thrilled," he said then, raising his eyebrows at me. "She's been so tense lately, this is probably a load off her shoulders."

"I'm sure it... 'tense'?"

"You haven't noticed? Well, I suppose she does try to hide these things from people..."

I found myself frowning slightly. She did? "I suppose."

"Anyway, now things can get back to normal. Back to the grind," he joked.

I found myself nodding automatically although I'm not sure that I was really listening properly. "Right. Well, I should..." I nodded toward the office door and ducked through it, only realising when I got to the other side that this wasn't my office but Kathryn's - which had been where I was headed anyway, to drop off some books, but still, my bemusement left me dazed enough that when the phone began to ring I answered it automatically.

"Hello, A- Professor Sinclair's office?"

"Ah, finally. I had almost given up on getting through. May I speak to Kathryn, please?"

"I'm afraid she's taking a class right now. Can I take a message?"

A sigh. "Could you tell her that Joyce Winters called? We spoke last week about a possible environmental audit on my company and I'm very interested in moving that forward."

"Um... sure," I said, scribbling onto Kathryn's notepad. "I'll let her know."

"Great. And, ah, could you also add that this is purely a professional call? If there's someone else I should be talking to about this I'd be happy to do so."

I frowned slightly. "Um... all right?" Why would it be anything other than professional?

"Thanks very much. And may I ask who I'm talking to?"

"Hm? Oh! This is Alex Webb - I'm her assistant."

"Very nice to speak to you, Alex. I appreciate you giving Kathryn my message."

"No... problem." We said our goodbyes and hung up, me somewhat confused. It wasn't that Kathryn hadn't mentioned some business connection, but there was something about the other woman's tone of voice... and that 'purely a professional call' thing? Whatever the case, I wrote a note and left it on Kathryn's desk, knowing that I would probably be gone by the time she got back from class. Which was probably for the best - I think a weekend away from the office (and Kathryn) was probably the smart thing to do.

 

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