Slick

Kay scrubbed at her hands until they passed pink and were headed for a distressed red, but the harsh soap and coarse brush seemed to make little real impression on the oil caked around her fingernails and in the cracks of her increasingly rough, dry hands.

Not that they didn't wear gloves. Gloves up to the elbows, full body suits, wellingtons - masks, in some areas. Out on the beaches you exposed as little flesh as you could. But once you were off the shore and on the base, there was still the dust on the air, greasy and warm, that settled into the creases of your clothing and skin. You could taste it with the salt on your lower lip. It seemed to leave a thin sheen over every outdoor surface, and when it rained the puddles on the decking and the low, flat roof shimmered with all the colours of the rainbow.

It got everywhere, covered everything - the more Kay cleaned the more she felt it spreading over her like some sort of slick, dark fungus. She remembered reading in school about how poor people living in the most industrial parts of Eastern Europe, the former Soviet Union, lived with such pollution in the air that it permanently stained their skin. Sometimes she woke up sweating, heart racing, gasping for breath, lingering images of white eyed, grey faced children, coming up out of the sand, clutching at her naked body, leaving dark, slippery handprints that would not wash.

But there wasn't time to waste on such fantasies. So she scrubbed her fingers until they bled, drank oily tea from an oil stained mug, and went out to stand on the deck to watch another black tide roll in.

"Helluva day, isn't it?" Charlie appeared beside her, leaning his forearms on the railing as an unlit cigarette dangled from between his lips. He was never without it, it seemed, much like the permanent five o'clock shadow on his pockmarked cheeks or the battered little book he kept tucked in his breast pocket at all times. "Thought that shift would never end."

"It hasn't, yet, for some," Kay said, nodding towards a figure still scrambling along the shoreline picking at odds and ends of debris, trying to keep working until the last minute and still beat the tide back to the coastal path that led back to base. "She never gives up, does she?"

"Nope... not even when she should." He gave a shake of his head, which from anyone else would've looked disapproving, but Kay knew that from Charlie was just expressing bemusement and perhaps a little grudging admiration. "Wonder if they're going to have to send the dinghy out after her. Again."

Kay chuckled a little, then frowned as the figure broke from her haphazard scramble into an ungainly jog, moving as fast as she could in the bulky overalls. She stood up a little straighter. "I think she's seen something," she said.

Charlie raised an eyebrow, then glanced over his shoulder. "Looks like it," he agreed, watching as one of the 'visors adjusted their headset, nodding and fiddling with the knobs of the radio. "Wonder what it is."

"Must be a bird, I guess. Just washed up, maybe?" Kay stood back from the rail and stuck her hands in her pockets, resisting the urge to walk to the other end of the decking for a closer look, for all the difference a few yards would make.

"Guess we'll find out soon enough."

Nearly taking several nose dives into the filthy sand and pebbles as she cradled her find, the figure made it back to the coastal path just as the first waves began to lap at its edge.

"So, darlin', what've you got for us?" Graham said, meeting her at the edge of the deck.

"Cormorant, I think," Rose replied, her voice muffled and slightly distorted by the mask she wore. She clambered up onto the deck one step at a time, her heavy boots scraping against the metal tread and leaving oily droplets in their wake. "S'just about all covered. Got a kit?"

"Give it here, I'll take it to the hospital," Graham said, having donned his long gloves, and further to that produced a grubby towel which he always seemed to have about his person. Bird in hand, he tramped round the side of the building towards the cleaning and treatment unit.

Kay had come no closer, simply watching the exchange, hands in pockets, now leaning against the rail behind her. But she nodded a greeting in Rose's direction as the young woman removed her face mask.

A fleeting smile played across Rose's lips as she deposited the mask in the bin by the railing, then got to work stripping the work gloves from her hands. With the mask gone the wild scattering of freckles on her face was much more visible, pinwheeling across her nose and cheeks and even as far up as her forehead. A few tight curls sprang loose from the band she had tied them back with and her first task once the gloves were gone was to try and smooth them down again, to no avail.

Kay didn't stare. Her look didn't linger more than a moment, in fact. Instead, she turned to look back at the shore, a few stray locks of her short, sandy hair falling over her face as she stooped to pick her mug up from the deck at her feet, sipping at the long-cold, now salty as well as oily contents. It had been stewed beyond flavour anyway. Another moment, and she'd turned again, heading inside.

"Hey Charlie," Rose said a few minutes later as she passed the older man on her way to the main galley. "Got a light?"

Charlie wheezed out a laugh; it was an old joke, but he laughed anyway. "Out of luck, Rose m'dear, just used my last match. Better luck next time."

"Too bad," Rose said, mock-sad. Charlie hadn't smoked for years now, and besides, none of them were permitted matches or lighters on the base. "Thanks anyway." She winked at him and then continued on her way, eager to get inside and out of the rapidly-cooling night air.

Kay was already at the cooker, stirring the large pot of of stew warming on the hot-plate. She smiled politely at Rose, and a little more warmly at Charlie as he strolled in after her.

"Save me a seat, Charlie? I'm gonna go wash up." With that, Rose headed to the washroom, already rolling up her sleeves to her elbows in preparation for the scrubbing she intended to give her hands.

The man grunted and took a seat at one of the tables nearest the cooker, knees cracking as he lowered himself into the chair. "Smells good," he remarked, plucking the cigarette out of his mouth and rolling it between his fingers.

"Same ol', same ol'," Kay said simply, her eyes automatically tracking Rose's exit from the room.

"It was a bird," Charlie said then, not missing her gaze even though he didn't seem to be looking anywhere near Kay. "Still alive."

"Mm? Oh, uh huh. Yeh, so I assumed."

"S'good. Brings the day's total to what, twelve, thirteen?"

"Thirteen."

"Ah. So what's with you and Rose, then?"

"What?" Kay's head whipped round so fast you almost expected it to twist off.

"I caught you givin' her looks; you're not that sneaky, you know. So what do they mean, and am I going to have to find another table to sit at? Tell me now, because I'm not the fastest mover around anymore."

Kay's mouth flattened to a line. "Don't be daft, Charlie. There's nothing going on," she said with a distinct air of resignation.

"Ah, is that how it is? Well, then, I suppose I'll stay where I am," the old man said.

"As will I, Charlie," Kay said, her voice dropping to a mutter as she turned back to the stew, directing her gaze into the gently steaming concoction. She chewed idly on her lower lip, deeply regretting it and sucking it into her mouth seconds later as it split open, bone dry from her day on the beach. She frowned in irritating, swearing a moment later as she went to move the stew pot slightly without a glove, burning the tips of her fingers. Oh, fantastic. She leant slightly to one side and turned on the cold tap, continuing to stir the stew while running cold water over the afflicted fingers.

"Here I am," Rose announced behind her back, waving at a few other people in the room as she slipped into a seat next to Charlie. "Back again. D'ja miss me?"

Almost flinching, Kay only began to ladle stew into bowls as the crew came up in a straggly but working line for their food, some also grabbing bread from the covered baskets of leftover rolls from that morning on their way back to their seats.

Rose was near the end of the line, her expression slightly curious as she held her and Charlie's bowls out to be filled. When Kay didn't spare her more than a cursory glance she frowned and turned back to the table, sliding Charlie's bowl across to him before taking a seat. "Will you say the words?"

Charlie nodded and very slowly and deliberately pulled the small book out of his pocket, thumbing through the dogeared pages until he found his place. Clearing his throat, he bowed his head and began to mumble softly to himself, not waiting to see if anyone else would follow. Rose did, however, folding her hands on the table and ducking her head a little, though she kept her eyes open to peer around the room.

Though most folk had already begun to eat, some halted, joining Rose. Kay, having finally ladeled some stew into her own bowl and turned, politely waiting for Charlie to finish. Without hurrying he made his way through two pages before sitting back and closing the book. "Amen," he said, and there was a scattered echo of the word before everyone began to eat in earnest. Rose gave him a smile, nodding as she picked up her spoon and dug in. "Thanks, Charlie."

With a muttered "Amen," Kay moved across the room to take her usual seat opposite Charlie, digging into her own food with some concentration.

A minute passed in silence at the small table, and then Rose leaned forward, resting her spoon on the edge of her bowl. "Listen, Kay, can we talk? About last night... I'm sorry."

Kay shook her head. "It's fine. Really. It was just a misunderstanding."

"Well, yeah, I know that. But I'm still sorry."

"It's hardly your fault."

Rose frowned then, her eyes darting to Charlie, who was hunched over his own food and barely sparing a glance for either of the women. "I'd still feel better if we talked about."

Sighing, Kay laid down her own spoon, forcing her gaze up to meet Rose's. "All right."

"We don't have to do it now. My cabin, after dinner?"

The 'no' formed on Kay's lips almost before she could stop it. Clamping her mouth shut, she nodded dully. "All right," she repeated in a somewhat strained tone.

"Thanks." With that, Rose resumed eating, looking perhaps slightly more nervous now, but no less determined than before.

Sweeping her hair once more back from her eyes, Kay finished her meal quickly, disposing of her dishes and immediately disappearing, as Charlie and Rose both knew, to scrub her hands again.

"Well... guess I ought to be getting to my cabin," Rose announced a moment later, a concession that meant she knew Charlie had overheard their entire conversation.

Charlie nodded without looking up, only muttering, "Careful, Rosie."

"Aren't I always?" the young woman asked, standing. "Take care, Charlie."

Another nod and accompanying grunt was her response.

Kay had not yet appeared at Rose's cabin, but no sooner had she enetered and closed the door than she heard a toiler flush down the hallway, and footsteps coming down the narrow corridor, followed by a quiet knock.

"It's open!" Rose called, struggling to pull on a sweatshirt while tidying up the cluttered bunk.

Entering the tiny room a little clumsily, Kay pushed the door shut behind her again and stuck her hands in her pockets, leaning back against the wall. "So."

"Hey," Rose said unnecessarily, assuming what she hoped was a nonchalant pose next to her dresser. "Thanks for... coming by."

"Right. No problem." Kay paused. "You wanted to talk."

"Well, I just thought it might be a good idea. Since... well. It might be strange otherwise."

"I'm happy to forget about it. But I'll talk if you want to. Just... talk, I suppose."

Rose sighed and nodded, folding her arms over her chest. Her gaze was fixed solidly on the ground in front of Kay's feet. "You've always been a good friend. I can't tell you how glad I am that you're here... honestly.'

"Right. I mean yes. I'm... glad I'm here too."

"Good. And because you're a good friend, I feel like we should be able to... well, talk about things, right?" Rose glanced up briefly, raising her eyebrows at Kay.

Kay swallowed, folding her arms. "Right."

"Good."

"So... talk?" Kay suggested quietly.

Rose nodded, taking a deep breath and backing until she could sit down on the low bunk shoved against the wall. "Last night was... well, I don't think either of us was thinking clearly, really."

Kay shook her head. "No, I was. I mean." She sighed, unfolding her arms and sticking them back in her pockets. "I was thinking clearly, Rose. At least partly. But I misunderstood. And I already apologised for that. It was completely my fault. And it won't happen again."

"Oh." Clearly Rose hadn't been expecting Kay to say something along those lines. "But, it's not that... I mean, I didn't... There was something..." Kay frowned, shaking her head bemusedly. "Oh." Rose frowned as well, reaching up to tug at one of her springy curls of hair. "So you don't... oh."

"Mostly I don't actually know what you're trying to say," Kay said, raising her eyebrows. "I thought we'd talked through this. I've always been your friend. I'd like us to still be friends if we can, after this. It doesn't have to change anything." She sighed again, shifting her feet uncomfortably. "I really don't know what there is we still need to talk about."

"No, I know. I'm not being very... well." Rose pushed herself up, crossing over to where Kay stood. "The part that I wanted to talk about wasn't... wasn't the first part. It was the part after that. When I left."

Kay blinked. "Um. Okay..." she said, though she moved herself to sit on the bunk where Rose had been, putting the same distance back between them.

"I think maybe I was scared... and I overreacted. I didn't mean to make you think that-" Rose was interrupted by a knock on the door. Frowning, she turned and opened it, her expression briefly surprised before she covered it with a smile. Raymond Peyton, the 'big boss' and person in charge of the whole operation, was standing there. "Hello Rose," he said, giving the girl a nod before glancing behind her. "And Kay. Hope I'm not interrupting anything."

Kay only shook her head, standing. "Should I go?"

"No, that's fine. Take your time. Rose, when you're done, I'd like to see you, in my cabin." Rose nodded, swallowing before giving the man another smile. "Sure thing. I'll be there in a minute, Dad."

Mr Peyton directed a tight smile at Kay, and a slightly warmer one at Rose, before leaving again, closing the door behind him with a careful click. Kay sat hesitantly back down. "Um. Would you like me to leave?"

"No," Rose said quickly. "I mean, I don't have to go right now."

"Right. Okay. What were you saying?"

"Just that... I didn't mean to leave so quickly. I was just so surprised," Rose explained, trying to keep her heart from racing.

"Um." Kay stood up again. "I'm... not sure what to think of that. What are you saying?"

"Just that... I don't know." Rose bit her lip. "Maybe I should go."

"Wait. Don't. If anyone leaves it should be me - this is your room. Only... I don't understand."

"I've never... that wasn't..." Rose made a frustrated noise and started to pace the small cabin. It only took a few steps until she was face-to-face with Kay. She turned abruptly and started back for the door. "I liked it, but I never thought that I... you know," she muttered.

Kay just stared. "You liked it?"

"I... I think so."

"But I thought. When you bolted like that, and then-" Kay sat back down now. "God. I thought I'd ruined everything."

Rose blushed, wrapping her arms around herself. "I'm sorry. It was just a surprise. A really big surprise."

"But I've-" Kay shut her mouth abruptly. Definitely not something she wants to hear. "I'm sorry. I guess with the wine, and talking, and being alone with you like that... I'm sorry."

"It's okay; don't be sorry," Rose said, shaking her head. "You shouldn't... well. I made a bigger fool out of myself than you did."

"That would be pretty difficult," Kay muttered, staring at her hands.

"Hey, don't be like that. I didn't not like it..." Rose blushed deeper just admitting this again.

"Sure, but I thought... that you knew. If I didn't, I'd have never..."

"I'm kinda dense about that sort of thing, I guess. Sorry."

"Well. I'm sorry too. For. Not being more obvious, or something."

Rose chuckled in spite of her nerves, leaning back against the door. "Apology accepted, I guess."

"So. Um." What now?

"I.. don't know how long I'll be gone for. Are you busy tonight?"

"Nope. Unless you count our five am start."

*start tomorrow."

"Okay. Well. Maybe I can stop by your cabin later?"

"Um. God. I mean, yes. Yes, absolutely. Do."

"Okay. Then I will. Provided it's not too late."

Define too late. "All right. I'll, um," Kay stood, "go, then, and let you get to Mr - your dad."

"Right." Rose stepped away from the door, giving Kay a tremulous smile. "Sure. Hopefully I won't be long."

 

Kay's room was freezing when she entered it. But at least it was neat. She always kept her cabin neat on clean-ups - no decorations, no extra clutter. Just her clothes, footwear, notebooks, some reading material, extra blankets. The only adornment on the wall was a calendar and, hanging over its picture, skewered on the same hook, a photograph of herself and Rose from university, when she'd been her tutor, and accompanied her on a placement up North. It was on that trip that they'd become friends, really. Kay took the picture down, and stuck as a page marker into the book lying face down on her bunk. Then, as an afterthought, she opened it and began to read, kicking her shoes off and nudging them beneath the bed as she sat down.

It wasn't long before a knock came at the door, but unlike Rose would've, the visitor didn't wait for Kay to invite them in. "Hey," said the blue-haired young man, pushing open the door and sticking his head inside. "You busy? Obviously not. Well, good." With that, he let himself in, grinning and plopping down on the end of Kay's bed.

Kay sighed, closing her book and placing it at her bedside, bending her knees to give the young man more room. "Dan. What's up?2

"

"Same thing that's up every night... absolutely nothing." Dan rested his elbows on his knees, giving Kay a quizzical look. "Because everybody sits in their cabins and reads instead of trying to get something fun going."

"Well, not tonight, of all night's, Dan. I'm staying here. So if it's a party you're looking for..."

"Not tonight? Why not? What's so special about tonight?"

"I'm staying in. Early start."

Dan gave an expansive sigh, leaning back until he nearly fell over the end of the bed. "Whoah!" he declared, flailing his arms until he righted himself. "Well, that's no fun. C'mon, just for a bit, you might even enjoy yourself, who knows?"

Kay just shook her head. "Nope."

"What, gonna spend another night hopelessly pining after Rosie Dearest?" Dan asked, leaning forward to pluck the picture off of Kay's bedside table. "Hasn't that gotten old yet?"

Kay made a cursory swipe for the photograph, but barely tried, sitting back against the wall again and letting Dan study the picture. "After Rose. Yes. And no. It never gets old. Leave it, okay?"

"You'd think eventually even your prodigious patience would run out eventually and you do something about it," Dan theorized, raising one eyebrow at her over the picture.

Kay shifted uncomfortably, then, her eyes sliding away from Dan's.

"Waitaminute," he said, sitting up straighter. "Wait a minute. You did do something about it, didn't you?"

Kay scowled, folding her arms.

"Tell!"

Shaking her head, Kay deliberately unfolded her arms, laying them by her sides. "It's really none of your business, Dan. Besides, there's next to nothing to tell."

"Then it won't take long!" Dan looked at her imploringly. "C'mon, spill."

"Why do you want to know anyway? You'll only go and gossip with the kids about it." Kay said the word 'kids' like it was some sort of disease. It wasn't that she didn't like the younger students working on the clean-up crew - every hand was appreciated. But she couldn't stand the way they spent their evenings laughing, and joking, playing cards and drinking and shagging. It didn't seem right somehow, surrounded by all this death and filth.

"No, I won't. I promise." Dan held the picture back out to her like an offering. "Please? You've got to tell! After this whole saga, you can't just not."

"Saga?" With another expansive sigh, Kay slumped down a little, her knees, almost obscuring her face from Dan's view.

"Fine." Kay wished she'd never talked to Dan. Almost as soon as they'd met, they'd clicked. Not in a friendly way, or with common interests. It was just as simple as recognising something in someone else and knowing that, in a place like this, it would push you together. As Dan put it, he'd 'pinged'. He'd clocked her 'pining' for Rose just as she'd spotted him checking out the other young men on the base, and she'd known before they'd even spoken that for better or worse, here, cut off from the rest of society, this shared predeliction would make confidants of them.

"Last night, you remember Rose had that bottle of wine when she left the mess? Well, a little later, after I left you guys to fall over and puke or whatever it is you kids do, I was in the TV room trying to find Radio 4..."

 

"Damn!" Kay thumped the top of the radio again, not that it helped. Not only could she not find the station she wanted, but she couldn't even find the station she'd been on before. Suddenly, all she was getting was static. She swivelled the areal this way and that again, to no avail.

"Having trouble?" When Kay glanced behind her she could see Rose leaning up against the doorframe, bottle resting against her hip and an amused smirk on her face. "You know that thing's about fifty years old? I think you'd have a better chance chucking it out the door and hitting a radio satellite than actually getting a station to play on it. Want some help?" Despite the fact that if her words were true her help wouldn't make much difference, she pushed herself up and sauntered across the room, setting the bottle on the table with a flourish.

Kay, though she'd jumped like she'd been shot when she heard Rose's voice, rallied a brave smile. "Um, sure. I mean. Nah, doesn't matter," she said, shrugging and sitting down, drumming her fingers on the desk. "Just bored of reading, that's all."

"Yeah? Well, then, that's perfect. Because I was also bored with not reading," Rose said with a laugh. "Keep me company?"

"Er." Kay cleared her throat. "I mean, yeah. Sure. Siddown. No one comes in here in the evenings."

Rose happily took a seat, reaching out for the bottle of wine. "Thirsty?"

"You got another glass? Or... any glass?"

"No? Don't worry, I'm not sick," Rose said, grinning.

"I'll believe you," Kay said, pulling a pen-knife out of her back pocket and flipping out the corkscrew function.

"Good! I promise, if you get sick, I'll bring you soup and sit by your bedside as long as you need me to. Deal?"

"Right. Deal." Kay smiled a little nervously, popping thr cork neatly and passing the bottle to Rose. "So. Not partying with the kids tonight, I take it?"

"Nope. Thought I'd party with the grown-ups instead." Rose laughed again before tipping the bottle up and taking a drink. "But really, I just wanted to see you."

"Me? Why?"

"Yes, you, and because I just felt like it. You've been quiet lately, I wanted to see what was up," Rose said, passing the bottle back. "So... what's up?"

"Hah." Kay took a careful drink from the winebottle, neatly avoiding backwash. "Nothing. And everything. You know how I get on clean-ups." As if to illustrate this she rubbed one eye a little wearily as she placed the bottle back on the table between them.

"Yeah... but it's almost over. At least, we should get some leave soon enough. Will you be okay 'til then?" Rose looked genuinely concerned, leaning forward a little to peer at Kay.

"Hey. I'm fine. I do this all the time." Kay nodded, 'though she reached for the bottle to take another, longer swig from it.

"I know... I know. You're the expert."

"Hey, no, I didn't mean it like that - you've been doing this just as long as I have."

Rose shrugged, snagging the bottle back from Kay. "Guess so. What do you want to do for leave?"

"Eh. I dunno. Might head back to St Andrews for a bit. See Mum and Dad."

"That sounds nice."

"Mm. Should be. What... Do you have any plans?"

"Not really. See my dad all the time, and I think Mum's off in... Cancun or something. So no need to go find them." Rose smiled, picking at the label on the bottle. "Guess I'll just sleep in and try to fix the radio."

"Seriously? You don't want to... get off the base?" Kay almost shuddered at the thought of spending time here when she wasn't working. Except perhaps... no. No, even with Rose here.

"I guess I could try and jump on someone else's plans, but I don't want to do that. I'm sure I'll find some way to amuse myself."

"Right. Right. You could always. Well, no. I mean, my family are even more boring than me..."

Rose brightened momentarily, though she refrained from asking for any further invitation. "Right. Um. I wouldn't want to intrude," she said, slowly shredding the paper into smaller and smaller bits.

Kay glanced at Rose's nervous fidgeting, and then at her own fingers, clenched together where they rested on the table. She forced herself to relax, and reached for the bottle again. "Then again. I don't..." Are you even about to suggest this? Not that you haven't travelled with her often enough before. Field trips being a little different, mind you... "I don't have to visit my family every time I have leave."

"Oh, I wouldn't want to keep you from going home," Rose said, shaking her head. "I'm sure I'll be fine here. Maybe I'll borrow some more of your books."

"Oh. Okay. I mean, that's fine." Kay grinned sheepishly. "Wouldn't want to go on another road trip with your stuffy old tutor anyhow."

"What? Oh, stoppit," Rose said, making a face. "You are not old, and you're not stuffy. I'd love to go on a trip with you, I just don't want to intrude on your family time."

"I see them often enough. But it's fine, it was a pretty daft idea anyway."

"Why?"

"I don't know." Kay shrugged, again reaching for the wine bottle.

Rose let it slip out of her grasp, sighing and watching the pieces of paper flutter away. "Well, I hope you have fun. Maybe Diana'll decide to stick around or something."

Kay made a face. "Maybe."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No, what is it? I saw that face you made."

"It's just... Diana. She winds me up. That's all. It's stupid."

"She's really quite nice, if you just give her a chance. She has some great stories."

"Exaggerated beyond belief."

"Well, maybe, but that's part of their charm," Rose said with a grin.

Kay rolled her eyes, finally drinking from the bottle and passing it back, starting slightly as their fingertips brushed. "I have no patience for people who just make things up for attention. However entertaining those things are." She sighed. "Sorry. I know. I'm boring."

"No, you're not. You're genuine," Rose stated. "And don't let Diana bother you. Everyone knows she's full of it, but what can you do?"

Kay sighed. "Right. Right. I didn't actually know you two were such... friends."

"We're not such friends. I was just trying to think of who might stick around on leave so I'd have people to talk to. But I didn't ask Diana to keep me company with a bottle of wine, did I?"

"Mm. Why did you want to talk? Just to see what I was doing with my leave?"

"No," Rose said, taking another drink and shaking her head so that her curls bounced this way and that. "I just... wanted to talk. That's all. I can go if I'm bothering you."

"No! I mean. no. It's fine." Kay smiled nervously again, drumming her fingers lightly on the table and sitting forward a bit.

"I guess it's getting pretty late anyway. But the others won't be turning in for a while yet."

"Really. I'm not tired. I wasn't trying to drive you o- Oh, just shoot me, someone..." Kay rolled her eyes.

Rose laughed. "I don't think you deserve that. Maybe just a sound flogging with a wet noodle."

"Noodles would be a nice change from rice right about now."

"Oh, don't even get me started..."

Kay chuckled, shifting in her seat. She cast an eye over to the battered sofa in front of the television, growing increasingly uncomfortable in her hard chair.

Noticing the look, Rose hefted the wine in one hand and stood a bit unsteadily. "Shall we?" she asked, gesturing towards the sofa.

"Um. Might be an idea I guess..." Kay said, nodding and lifting her shoulders a little.

"Not just any idea. A brilliant one." Rose fell back onto the sofa with an 'oof', hooking one leg over the arm and tipping the bottle back again. "Yes, this is much better. Brilliant."

Kay joined Rose on the sofa, at first just perching on the edge, then relaxing a little in spite of herself, leaning back against the worn, padded material.

"Don't fall asleep on me now," Rose instructed, wagging a finger at her. "It's not that late."

"Wasn't falling asleep," Kay protested, yawning a little now in spite of herself. "Just getting comfortable."

Grinning, Rose shimmied until her head was nearer Kay's shoulder. She gazed up at the other young woman, her hazel eyes bright and curious. "I like your hair. Did you cut it?"

"Um... yeah..." Kay said with a bemused expression, shifting a little in her seat. "I keep it pretty short."

"It's nice. Looks soft. Mine's not, I can hardly do anything with it. S'annoying."

"God, no, you're gorgeous," Kay said, turning a little to face Rose. Immediately, she flinched. "I mean, your hair. Your hair's gorgeous. Mine... I just like to keep it out of the way."

"Practical and pretty. Typical Kay," Rose said, still smiling. "How d'you make it do that little... flip thingie?"

"Um..." Kay began to look more confused. Is she... "It just does that by itself? I don't do anything with it..." She raised a hand to run her dry, reddened fingers through her hair.

"Well, I'm impressed." Rose reached up to touch Kay's hair with two fingers, brushing her hand in the process. "I was right, it is soft," she declared, grinning.

Brow furrowing now in her confusion, finding that her head - perhaps it was the wine - just wouldn't clear, Kay smiled tentatively, leaning a little closer to Rose in spite of herself. "Um. Right. I... can't really take credit," she said, their hands dropping from her hair at the same time, resting side by side on the couch.

"Oh well. Guess I'll have to talk to your stylist." Rose closed her eyes, tilting her head back against the couch cushion. "We should do this more often," she murmured, her hand moving ever-so-slightly until it bumped Kay's.

"We should? I mean, we should." Of all the people in the world to turn into a blabbering idiot in front of, the one... Kay sighed again, her pulse beginning to race a little as she moved her hand to rest it over Rose's. If ever...

"Yeah," Rose said, opening her eyes, "we should. I like it. It gets crazy here sometimes, but I like spending time with you. I miss it."

Kay nodded a little, moistening her lower lip, suddenly worried it was so dry it might at any moment crack. Then she jested, "I could get out the Ecology textbooks and set you some essay topics?"

"Please, no. I'm so glad to be done with all that. No offense," Rose added. "But the fieldwork is so much more satisfying. For me, at least."

"Then I should drag you up the coast to some half-deserted fishery?"

"Drag away. I'm firmly convinced you could make anything sound interesting. You got me through Developmental Anatomy, didn't you?"

"I suppose so," Kay said with a small smile. "Shame I only brought recreational reading..."

"Oh well. We'll make do. Remember the night before my final exam when you kept me up all night quizzing me about zooxanthellae and coral and then had to force three shots of espresso into me right before it started?" Rose asked, looking reminiscent.

Kay chuckled. "And did you or did you not ace it?" She said, slinging an arm over the back of the sofa as she turned a little more to face Rose, relaxing a little.

"I did, though I have absolutely no recollection of the event," Rose said with a grin. "And don't even ask me about coral now. I think it all leeched out of my ears after I crashed."

"Well, according to conditioned learning, if we get you sleep-depped and caffinated again it'll all come back..."

"Noo," Rose moaned. "Never again! Much better to be sleep-deprived and drunk."

"Well, that's what we're heading for now..." Kay said, grinning and tipping her head a little.

"If I have nightmares about phytoplankton I'm blaming you."

"Better than the nightmares I have," Kay muttered darkly before she could catch herself.

Rose jerked her head up, frowning. "What nightmares?"

"Oh, nothing. I have these stupid recurring dreams when I'm on site."

"That doesn't sound good. What about?"

"Oil. Mostly. Pollution." Kay shook her head, her gaze wandering.

"Oh." Rose pushed herself up, turning to face Kay. "I guess that's understandable..."

"I just..." Kay pursed her lips, glancing down, and then back up at Rose. "Yeh. Yes. Understandable." She is, isn't she? Sitting close, like that...

"It gets to a lot of people, being out here like this. You're not the only one. You should... talk about it, or something. Maybe."

Kay shook her head. "M'all right. I'm used to it." She nodded once, as if to emphasise this, shifting again, a little closer.

Rose didn't draw away, still looking at Kay with an expression of concern on her face. "You can talk to me, you know. About anything. I won't... I mean, I know I'm just a kid or whatever, but I won't tell anybody else."

Kay swallowed, meeting Rose's eyes. "I don't think you're a kid, Rose."

"And I don't think you're telling me everything," she countered, staring back at Kay.

"There has been something on my mind for a while. Well, a long while actually," Kay said then, her stomach suddenly tightening at her own words.

"Oh? What's that?"

Kay said nothing for a moment, their eyes still locked. She leant in slightly, hesitated again. Then, gathering all her nerves together, closed the distance between them to press a light kiss to Rose's lips.

"...and she got up and left? Without a word?" Dan let out a low whistle, shaking his head. "Of all to things to happen... still, good for you, at least you finally did something about it."

Kay, her face red in embarassment all over again from having to tell her story, nodded, and shrugged. "I suppose so. Now, would you leave me in pease?"

"Don't know how much peace there is to be had for you tonight, but I guess so." Dan stood, looking down at Kay with one raised eyebrow. "Good luck with all that."

Kay shrugged again. "See you later Dan. Don't stay up too late, okay? You have an early start too."

"That's no reason for tonight to end quite yet," he said with a wink.

"Out."

"Take it easy, Kay."

"You too, Dan. G'night."

 

Rose sat in the least-uncomfortable chair in her father's office, which wasn't much more than another room emptied of everything save a desk and a storage locker for various folders and fitted with several chairs of varying levels of hardness and poor workmanship. Though Peyton believed in using the best equipment possible for clean-ups, he didn't extend that same openhandedness when it came to furnishing his own office.

She had left not long after Kay departed, pausing only to try and tie back her hair and tie her shoes before traversing the corridors to the office. So far she and her father had exchanged pleasantries and he had shared news of one of his colleagues' missions in Canada, ending with a rather shocking announcement.

"Rose? Rose, are you listening? I said, he's requested that you come and join him as soon as possible. This is an extremely generous offer, one that you'd be foolish to turn down. What do you think?"

"I... I don't know," she mumbled, biting her lip. "I mean... wow. That's... really surprising."

Her father nodded, a grim smile (the only kind he had) appearing on his face. "Shall I phone him back, then? It's early yet, there."

"No. I mean, I need to think about it, I think." Rose sat back in her chair, rubbing absently at a dark smudge on the back of one hand. "It's an amazing opportunity, that's true. But..."

"But?!

"I like what we do here," she said with a frown. "I don't want to leave that."

"There are plenty of people who do this for a living, Rose. You're capable of much more."

"But if I'm happy here..."

"How can you be happy here? This place sucks the life out of most people."

Rose folded her arms over her chest defensively. "It's good, honest work. We make a difference, however small, and I like that. And all my friends are here. And you."

Rose's father's mouth flattened to a line, and he stood. "Obviously you need some time to think about this."

"Fine," Rose said, standing as well. But I'm not going to change my mind just because you say so.

"Get a good night's sleep."

"Good night, Dad."

 

Kay had picked up her book again, but hadn't managed to read anything, instead just staring at the wrinkled old photograph taken on that field trip, what seemed centuries ago, though it was only a few years.

Rose went directly to Kay's room from her father's office, wearing a slightly dazed expression as she knocked lightly on the door. She was still half-expecting the events of the night before to be some sort of joke, and the strangeness of her father's announcement hadn't helped convince her of reality, either.

"Come in?" the answer was instant, sharp, and yet somehow rather tense, trepidatious.

Kay was still sitting on her bed, knees pulled up to her chest, her book now closed and at the bedside. She forced a smile. "Hey."

"Um, hi. It's not too late, is it?" Rose asked, stepping in. "I don't even know what time it is..."

"No, no. No, it's not to late. It's fine. Come on in. Sit down."

"Thanks." Rose shut the door securely behind her, shuffling over to perch on the end of Kay's bed. She had pulled her sleeves up over her hands and was picking at the cuffs in a way that Kay knew meant she was nervous and distracted.

"Did... you have a good chat with your dad?"

"Huh? Oh, um... well, yeah, I guess."

Kay raised an eyebrow, saying nothing.

"Turns out he wanted to tell me... oh, nevermind," Rose said, shaking her head. She tugged her sleeves back up her wrists and turned towards Kay, taking a deep breath. "We were going to talk. More."

"Yeah. Yes. All right then. Let's talk."

"Okay. I want to say I'm sorry again for... leaving the way I did last night."

"Hey, please, don't. It's okay."

"No, I know it was pretty rotten of me... you were probably really peeved at me," Rose said sheepishly. "I think I just... didn't think. It was so sudden, and I didn't know what to say. Or do."

"I just thought... Well, I suppose I thought you were just... Well. I thought I'd screwed up."

"No, no, of course not. You couldn't. I just didn't know that you felt that way."

Kay smiled sheepishly, shrugging and wrapping her arms around her bent knees. "It had never even occured to me that you wouldn't know. It's been... a long time since I felt that way." She cleared her throat, staring at her knees.

"How long?" Rose ventured curiously, raising her eyebrows.

Kay just shook her head, the smile on her face growing a little strained.

Rose didn't quite know what to say to this, though she knew Kay well enough to be aware that pushing her would only make her clam up tighter. "Well, anyway... it's not like I'm particularly experienced with that sort of thing. I mean, the only time I've ever kissed anyone was when I was drunk."

"You mean another woman."

"Honestly?" Rose asked, biting her lip. "I mean anyone. Woman or otherwise."

Kay looked up at Rose, then, frowning in curiosity. "But you're so... affectionate. So vibrant and loving, and..." She shook her head. "Sorry. I didn't mean. But I'd just assumed..."

"It just never seemed important. The whole physical thing, I mean. Hugging a friend is one thing, but when it came to more... I don't know, the only way I could do it was if I had a few drinks. God, that makes me sound so pathetic," Rose said, frowning.

"Wow. Right. I mean. Not that I'm suggesting I have a lot of... experience? I'm sorry. If I'd known..."

"No, it's okay. I guess it's just... complicated," Rose said, smiling slightly now and pulling one foot onto the bed. "I think that's maybe partially why I left last night."

"Yeah?"

"I didn't want it to be because of the alcohol. Like... it felt nice, but I didn't know if I could trust it or not. I guess... I guess I'm still not sure."

"Oh." Kay pursed her lips, nodding, staring fixedly past Rose at the wall. "Rght. I mean, that's totally fine."

"So all my training tells me that if you're not sure of a result, you should duplicate the experiment again," Rose said in a slightly shaky voice. "To, um, see if it has the same outcome."

"Ah. I mean. All right." Kay shifted a little, forcing her arms away from around her knees. She took a deep breath.

"If you don't want to," Rose said, looking even more nervous now. "I just thought..."

"No, I do. I mean. If you want to. It's just..." Kay swallowed, with another sheepish smile. "No pressure, huh?2

"It's just a kiss. That's all. It's no big deal." Rose didn't look at all convinced of this fact. "Right?"

Wrong. "Right."

"Right." With that, Rose shut her eyes, sitting straight-backed and motionless on the end of Kay's bed.

Kay shifted, saying nothing for a moment. "Um..."

"What?" Rose asked, cracking open one eye. "What's wrong?"

"I just... I'm not sure what you want me to do? With the... closed eyes, and stuff. And the stiffness." Kay shifted forwards on the bed a little, chewing on her lower lip. "I can't just... kiss you, just like that. It was... a moment, you know? Or I thought it was."

"Oh." Rose opened both eyes then, shoulders slumping a little. "Sorry. Did I mention I really suck at this?"

Kay made a face. "It's not just you, believe me," she said, reaching for Rose's hand. They both had cold fingers, the heating in the base being intermittent at best.

Chuckling, Rose squeezed Kay's fingers, reaching up with her other hand to clasp them. "But you're my tutor. I'm supposed to learn from you, remember?" she asked shyly.

Kay squeezed her eyes shut for a second. "Please. The less said about my former position of authority over you, the better, hm?"

"Oh. Sorry." Rose cursed herself for bringing that up - it was supposed to have lightened the mood. Apparently it did just the opposite. "I didn't mean to, I just... I'm sorry. I'll stop talking now."

Kay smiled hesitantly. "No. No, keep talking," she said, shaking her head and shifting a little closer. "I like when you talk."

"I don't know why. I say some pretty stupid things sometimes. And the smart things I say don't mean much."

"No, that's not true. You light up when you talk - when you're talking about something you care about?" Kay's fingers curled around Rose's.

"Oh." Rose blushed, looking down at the mattress, though she kept her hand pressed into Kay's. "Um, Kay?"

"Yep?"

"If you had an opportunity to get off the base - I mean a good opportunity, one that could take you places, or something, would you?"

Kay raised her eyebrows, shrugging. "I work between the university and the clean-ups. It's what I do. If it wasn't this base, it'd be another."

"Oh. But what if... just hypothetically. You could do something else. Would you want to?"

Kay's brow furrowed as she thought. "I don't know. I've been doing this for years now. It half kills me and I do it." She shrugged. "Sometimes I want nothing more than to be away from these places. I've been to so many different countries, seen so many different stupid mistakes turn beaches and forests and what-have-you into dying wastelands. I hate them. But I can't not help."

Rose nodded, glancing up to watch Kay's face as she spoke. "I feel the same way," she murmured. "I don't... I wouldn't want to leave either."

Kay's frown deepened slightly. "This isn't a hypothetical, is it?"

"Um... no. Not exactly."

"Rose, I-" Kay spoke in a whisper, catching herself a second later. "Well, is it a good opportunity?" she said, clearing her throat.

"You know Dr. McAvoy? I had him for Marine Mammals that one semester?"

"Harold, yes."

"Well, he was talking to my dad - he's off in Vancouver - Dr. McAvoy, that is, not my dad, and he mentioned that he had a position open on his crew if I wanted to come work for him."

"Oh." Kay nodded. "Doing what?"

"He made it sound like it was a research assistant position... he's doing work on whale migration right now. There's definitely a paper in the works from what my dad says."

"Right. Well." Kay shifted again, a little away from Rose. "That sounds like a good opportunity..."

"I don't want it," Rose stated baldly. "I mean, like I said. I like it here. I like what we do."

Kay nodded, trying not to show her relief. "What are you going to tell your dad?"

"I don't know. I tried to tell him no already and he just thought I was being sentimental. He's giving me time to 'think about it'," Rose said, making a face.

"Mm." Kay frowned thoughtfully. Her hand still lay on the covers between them, her fingers still curved around Rose's, although the moment for any kind of action, she felt, might be slipping through them.

"But I don't want to leave," Rose asserted again, taking a deep breath. "Not the base, not my friends, and not... you." Her hand trembled slightly as she leaned in, peering into Kay's eyes.

And we're back... Kay gazed back at her, a hesitant smile returning as she shifted closer again. "That's better," she murmured quietly, her free hand moving to brush a stray curl away from Rose's face.

Rose could feel her stomach flip and twist like a fish out of water, and she hoped desperately that she wouldn't get sick. Instinctively she tipped her head a little to one side, her tongue darting out to wet her lips as she continued to lean closer.

Again, it was Kay that closed the distance, pressing her mouth lightly to Rose's, fingers tightening around hers.

Rose didn't close her eyes, heedful of Kay's earlier words, but she did let out a trembling breath as she felt Kay's lips against her own. It wasn't an altogether unpleasant sensation, and she smiled slightly as the kiss lingered on.

Kay pulled back after a long moment to focus back on Rose's face. "So."

"Um, so." Still smiling, Rose squeezed Kay's hand. "I'm still not sure... maybe we should try that again?"

"Okay, are you teasing now?"

"Yes... I liked it."

"All right." Kay smiled a little, but didn't move back in, only moistening her lower lip.

"I, um... Wow. That was... wow."

"Good wow?"

"Yeah, definitely."

"Wow. Also." Kay, uncharacteristically, broke into a shy grin. "Are you sure?"

"What, you want me to change my mind?" Rose asked, pulling Kay's hand closer.

"No. I just..." Kay lifted her hand to rest it against Rose's face. "It's been so long, I don't know... This is all a little surreal."

"How long?" Rose asked again, tipping her cheek into Kay's hand.

"Embarrassing, you will never know sort of long," Kay muttered, her eyes dropping from Rose's.

"Why didn't you say something before?"

"I didn't say something now. I just sort of spilled over."

Rose frowned a little, her hand coming up to rest on Kay's. "I don't want you to feel embarassed, Kay. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I sort of did, you know. Back when you were my student... not that I... but I should've reassigned you."

"I'm glad you didn't. I would've missed you."

"Rose, I don't want you to think that anything has to change just because you know that I-" Kay pulled back again slightly to look properly at her. "We can still just be friends, if that was what you wanted. Don't do this on my account."

Rose bit her lip, pulling Kay's hand down to her lap. "Can we just... take it slowly? I mean, I want to be your friend, of course, but I think... we could try to be more?"

"You're sure?" Kay shook her head then, with another tiny, sheepish smile. "Sorry. Stuck record, eh?"

"It's okay. I happen to like this record a lot," Rose stated, her smile growing.

"Right. So..."

"So?"

"So what now?"

"Oh. I don't know. I thought you might."

"Might what?"

"Know what comes next."

"Oh. I don't know. I mean, I do, but. What I mean is that I don't want to do anything you don't. Want to."

"Y'know, Kay, you're usually a lot clearer than this," Rose said, smirking.

"Not many things make me nervous."

"You're nervous?"

"Of course I'm bloody nervous. You have no idea."

"Oh. But..."

"But?"

"But why? I mean, I already said..."

"I know, I know, but there's all this time, and we've been friends so long, and..." Kay trailed off, sighing and shrugging her shoulders. "Like I said. Pressure. I don't know what you want me to do."

Rose frowned, drawing back a little. "I'm sorry. I don't know either. I didn't expect this, so I don't really have a plan... I have no idea, really. I've never done this before.'

"No, don't be sorry, I'm just being daft." Kay forced a smile, and this time Rose saw the fear in it. "Do you want to... call it a night? Or shall I... should we..." Pulling her lower lip in between her teeth, she dipped her head, for a moment.

"Should we what?" Rose asked after a moment. "What were you going to say?"

"I was hoping to get away without finishing that one," Kay murmured, lifting her eyes to Rose's again. "Not used to asking permission to kiss someone, seems odd."

"Oh, well... you're right, it does seem strange," Rose said with a nervous laugh.

"I mean, not like I shouldn't have permission. Just that it's a strange thing to be asking. And again with the I don't want anything you don't mantra." Kay shrugged, her expression pained.

Rose sighed, her own nervousness increasing as Kay's did. The problem there is that I don't know what I want. "Do you have any lotion?" she asked suddenly.

"What?"

"Um, lotion. For your hands. They're dry."

"Oh." Kay looked down at her hand where it lay between them on the bed. "I do somewhere. They just suck it right up, though. Doesn't really help. I'm sorry, they must be rough."

"No, it's okay, I don't mind, I just thought... oh nevermind, it's stupid," Rose said, looking dejected.

Kay frowned, leaning forwards again in spite of herself. "God, Rose, what's up? You look like I killed your puffin. You thought what?"

"I just always noticed how cracked your hands get when you're out here," Rose blurted. "And I always wanted to... just... make them better."

"Oh." Kay stared back down at her hand again, surveying it as though she'd never really looked at it before. "It's the oil," she murmured, though she knew Rose knew this already. "I... hate the feel of it on my hands. I can't get rid of it. So I scrub them..."

"I'm sorry. I know, I was just being stupid. Forget I said anything." Rose reached up to press a hand to her cheek, which was hot and pink.

"No, no, I'm glad you did. It was... I like that you thought of me." Kay moved her free hand to Rose's knee. "I'll try and take better care of them," she promised.

"Oh... okay."

"Or. I mean. You can. If you'd like to." Confusingly, Kay felt a tug in her stomach at this suggestion that was not unlike the unmistakable one she'd felt when they'd kissed.

"Well, um, do you have lotion? I mean, that you know where it is? I have some, but it's back in my room..."

"Right. I mean, yes. It's in my desk," Kay said, sounding a little bemused as this sudden preoccupation with her hands.

"Okay." Rose slid off the bed, glad for the distraction, as the room had suddenly gotten very warm and a little claustrophobic. "May I?" she asked, hesitating with her hand on a drawer. She had gone in Kay's desk before, to get pencils or paper, but somehow it was different all of a sudden.

"Go ahead."

Pulling the drawer open, Rose rummaged about until she found them small bottle of lotion; store-brand and unscented. She uncapped it as she sat back on the bed, then tenatively reached for Kay's hand again.

The older woman bit her lip as Rose took one of her hands, sucking in a sharp breath as the cold balm made contact with her raw skin.

"Is that okay?" Rose asked, looking up nervously.

"Mm. I mean, yes, it's fine."

"Are you sure?"

Kay chuckled. "Thought that was my line. Go ahead. It's... nice. Soothing."

"Okay..." Gently Rose began to rub the lotion over Kay's hand, gradually warming it with the friction of her hands.

One hand, and then another passed between Rose's, Kay feeling not just her hands but her whole body warm at the other woman's touch. Neither spoke for some time.

By the time Rose had finished she was feeling much more relaxed, a small smile playing over her lips as she traced the contours of Kay's work-roughened hands. It was true that she had noticed many times over the poor condition in which the constant scrubbing and harsh air left the other woman's skin, and she was glad to finally be able to do something about it. "There," she murmured, setting aside the bottle at last. "Is that better?"

"Very much so," Kay said, though she was referring more to the way the extended silence had slowly grown more comfortable as it had lasted, setting her far more at ease.

"Good, I'm glad."

Kay smiled again, tentatively. "Are you tired?" she asked then, for want of a better way to give Rose the option to leave now, should she want to.

"Not entirely. I mean, a little, but I don't want to go back quite yet," Rose admitted honestly.

"Right, all right. What would you like to do, then?"

"Um, anything. Whatever you like."

Kay coughed. "You might want to qualify that," she said dryly.

Rose gave her a nervous look. "Um?"

The other woman blinked. "I was joking."

"Oh, right. Right. Sorry. I knew that."

"Did you?" Kay frowned again. "Rose, if you're in any way uncomfortable..."

"No!" Rose said, shaking her head. "I'm not! It's fine, really."

"Because it's like I said. This is... Nothing has to happen here. This is all about you. I mean, your pace, and so on. Yeah?"

"Right, yes, you said that. I remember." Rose could feel the previous moments of contentment slipping away again, and struggled to keep from panicking. "Okay. Well... thanks."

"Rose..." Kay leant back against the wall, her head tipped a little to one side as she gazed at her, brow still furrowed. "I know this is a stuck record, but... you don't seem comfortable. I mean, we've barely..."

Rose made a sound, half-sigh, half-moan, and stared studiously at the floor. "I just... don't know what to do. You say it's up to me, but I don't know what's next, and if you wait for me to figure it out, you're going to get upset and then this won't work, any of it."

"But I don't want to risk... pushing you."

"I'd rather you did that than let me fumble along on my own..."

After a long pause, Kay nodded hesitantly, taking a deep breath. "You promise you'll bolt again if you need to?"

"Of course."

"All right then." Licking her lower lip, Kay leant in once more to kiss Rose, this time allowing her eyes to flutter closed.

Rose felt a moment of relief at the action before she realized she should've been nervous, and was caught between that and excitement as her lips touched Kay's. Her heart jumped into her throat, but as the seconds ticked by she became more and more aware that she was enjoying herself.

"You okay?" Kay pulled back to whisper some moments later, waiting for a silent nod in response before kissing her again, this time opening her mouth a little, her hand moving back to cradle Rose's face.

Rose almost gave a start when she felt Kay's tongue slide against hers, it was such a strange, foreign feeling. She refrained from pulling away though, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath as her hand crept across the bed to Kay's knee.

Kay's pulse raced, and she leant into the kiss without even meaning to, taking long, careful breaths through her nose. This is... I never thought this would happen.

Rose had heard it said that it was easy to lose track of time when one was giddy with infatuation, but she had never believed it. Until now. Time seemed to slip by unheeded as she and Kay kissed, their lips both a little chapped but so warm and sweet. She had been tired before but suddenly that had fled, leaving her feeling invigorated and full of need, though she didn't know for what.

Kay knew. Kay knew, and it was making her hands tremble as she moved them, tentatively, to Rose's waist, then around to her back, drawing her gently closer. She shut her eyes again as if that might still her pulse a little, calm her. The warmth that flooded through Rose was enough to make her open her eyes in surprise, though she continued kissing Kay with a growing fervor. She could sense Kay's body close to hers and suddenly wanted it closer; the logical part of her was shocked at the influence the other woman seemed to have over her already.

Kay eventually pulled back to pull in a gasping breath, sliding her hands to Rose's hips as she did so, opening her eyes to take in the other woman's expression.

The brunette looked back at her in wide-eyed wonder, her lips slightly parted and her cheeks warm and pink. She tried to form a sentence but no coherant words came out, and she finally settled on a simple "Wow."

"Good wow, right?" Kay asked, though she didn't seem so uncertain about it this time.

Rose nodded, almost uncomfortably aware of Kay's hands resting lightly on her hips. "Mmhmm, I'd say."

Almost as though she knew how Rose felt, Kay's thumbs began to brush across the fabric of her jeans where they lay as she gazed at her. "So... d'you want to keep going? Like this? Or... if you wanted to leave it there for tonight. That would be okay too."

"I don't know," Rose said, looking vaguely conflicted. "Maybe we should just... but I don't want to."

Kay nodded, her stare intense as she searched Rose's face. "I don't want you to. But you have to promise that if you do you'll say." You're really belabouring this one.

"Okay, okay. I will."

Kay's eyelids lowered a little as she leaned in again, but then she stilled, lips almost touching Rose's, waiting for her. If I'm pushing... Lips tingling in anticipation, Rose waited for Kay to close the divide. When she didn't, a frown tugged down the corners of her mouth, a moment before she leaned in herself to begin the embrace. Kay's hands immediately slid around again to the small of Rose's back, cool fingers slipping beneath the hem of her top, brushing gently against her skin just above her jeans waistband. She closed her eyes again as they kissed, more deeply now as she risked a little more assertiveness.

Rose leaned against her easily, parting her lips and closing her eyes. One of her hands rested on Kay's knee, the other lifting to flutter hesitantly against her shoulder. Kay smiled against Rose's mouth, slowly beginning to relax a little again, daring to slip her hands beneath her top to rest against her bare back as she pulled her closer.

"God," Rose murmured, fingers curling on Kay's shoulder, "why didn't you do this earlier?"

"Well, to start with, for so long it would've been completely inappropriate," Kay began, her voice soft and a little distant for all that she was giving a serious answer. "Then there was the fact that I would never have thought you would want it." She paused. "Then there's the mind-numbing fear."

"Oh." Rose blinked. "I guess those are good reasons."

"They seemed to make sense at the time, certainly. I'd never have done what I did, but with the wine, and we were alone, and it seemed like you were..." Kay smiled a little, closing the small gap between them in a tiny kiss before continuing. "...well. It doesn't matter. We've been over that."

"I'm glad we did. To think, you felt that way, and I was so oblivious... to everything. I must've seemed so clueless."

"I actually thought you knew. Practically everyone else does." Kay sounded rather as though she wasn't terribly happy about this.

Rose frowned, pulling back a little. "They... they do?"

With a nod, Kay cast her eyes heavenwards momentarily. "Mm. Not through any action of mine. Well, beyond my complete inability to hide my feelings."

"Oh. How many is practically everyone?"

"Um. I don't know." Kay's brow furrowed a little as a tiny warning bell rang in the back of her mind. "Dan and Charlie, certainly. Paula. Probably Diane. Maybe Scott. The regulars."

"Oh." Rose's expression was difficult to read, but she definitely wasn't wearing the raptured expression she had been a few minutes before. "I didn't know it was such common knowledge."

"I didn't say it was common knowledge." Kay's pulse began to thud again, though not, this time, with excitement. "Look, I'm not saying it's the talk of the base or anything - you know me, I'm not a gossip, and I keep myself to myself, mostly. But... it's been a long time, working in such close quarters... People pick up on stuff, I guess."

"Right. I guess so. Everyone except me.'

Kay dropped her eyes. "I'm sorry," she murmured, though she wasn't sure what she was apologising for.

"Don't be. It's nothing... it's silly," Rose said, shaking her head. "It's just really weird, thinking about it like that."

"Oh. I'm s-" Kay bit her lip into silence. Well. That's that, then.

"Well. Maybe I should go."

Kay, having long since retracted her hands from Rose's bare back, now removed them from where they'd come to rest at her waist also. "Oh. I mean, right. Yes. Maybe. If that's what you want." Suddenly talking was becoming rather difficult.

"Well, it's just that we have an early start tomorrow. And it's late. And we don't want to not be rested for it."

"Right, of course. All right." Kay nodded, shifting to once more lean back against the wall.

"But I'll see you tomorrow, right? After we get in?" Rose asked, sliding off the bed.

"Yes, if you like. I'm not on dinner duty, but I'll be around, of course."

"All right, good. I'd like that too. I'll see you then, I guess. Yeah?"

Another nod. "Yeah." Kay didn't get up - although in such a small room seeing Rose to the door would be something of a joke in any case.

"All right. G'night, Kay. Um, sleep well." Rose gave a nervous wave and then turned, letting herself out into the corridor.

Kay slumped as soon as she heard the door click shut, crumpling onto the bed as she relaxed. She closed her eyes, which burned a little now with the effort of staying composed. I can't believe it. All this time, and what fucks it up? The fact she didn't know when everyone else did. Peachy. Just great. With a sound of frustration, Kay shifted, wriggling out of her jeans and leaving them lying on the bedcovers as she slipped beneath them. She didn't turn the light off. She knew she wouldn't sleep yet.